I was reading baby/toddler stuff aaand...

hcape001 · September 2011

I can't remember where I had read this, so I'm sorry about that, but I thought it was pretty good advice.Hope some of you other ladies think it's a good idea, and not stupid.

Instead of saying "no" for everything when your child is learning right and wrong, say "we don't touch the stove, because it's hot." It sounds kind of stupid at first, but when you think about it, it makes more sense.

For starters, if you say "no" the child doesn't know why it's wrong. They just know they're being told the same thing for everything. But if you say, "we don't touch that because it's hot.", they'll know why you shouldn't do it. They might not understand the concept of what hot is, but they will soon enough, and then they'll have something to connect it with.

Also, it gives them more words to put in their vocabulary when you give them a full sentence, and gives them sentence structure. That's why it's important to talk to them all the time.

varkeyr · September 2011

While that is well and good for some, you also need to have them obey without explanation. You don't always have the time to explain that they need to stop because a car is coming. Sometimes you need them to just listen to the command.

On the flip side I have a friend that never says "no" instead she tells them when. "Can I have a cookie?"

"Sure right after dinner."

nanalovesjason · September 2011

I like this a lot! I think little ones are very curious and this helps teach them a lot about their world without just being told yes/no. Thanks for sharing, I plan to do this!

hcape001 · September 2011

varkeyr:
While that is well and good for some, you also need to have them obey without explanation. You don't always have the time to explain that they need to stop because a car is coming. Sometimes you need them to just listen to the command.
On the flip side I have a friend that never says "no" instead she tells them when. "Can I have a cookie?"
"Sure right after dinner."

You're right, and I forgot to put in that you save "No" for the really big stuff. I completely agree they need to listen without explanation on a dime for big things. With the car instance it would be good when they're standing next to you again to explain why. I completely see and agree with what you're saying.

On your flip side, I think there's a difference between being firm with your explanation and being a bit of a push over. My best friend has a 3 year old that didn't listen to "no" because he knew she wasn't serious. Now she bribes him with cookies..... I cringe.

Mr. & Mrs. RN · September 2011

Very true, but simplify. Don't use such a big sentence to explain things. I just say "hot" and "owie" while holding my hand close to the stove. Gets the point across.

adri77 · September 2011

I highly recommend the parenting book, Love and Logic for Early Childhood. I have 1 very challanging DS (one very easy going DS too) and this book by far made my life, the easiest and actually worked.

shanniebananie · September 2011

I think it's a great idea... However, I'd like to mention that up until around the age of 7 or so, children aren't as able to process the word "Don't" or "Can't" in an effective way. My program highly encourages the use of other phrases. Such as. "The stove can hurt you." or "The stove is hot. Hands off."

I have found it is much more effective and less stressful on myself if I attempt to word things more clearly for the toddlers in my care. As long as what they're doing isn't potentially harmful, I try not to lead off with the word "No", but instead try to lead in with other suggestions. For instance:

Amy is 14 months old and is currently using a book to stand on to reach a toy just out of her grasp.

"Amy, would you like this toy? Yes? Okay, let's find a safer way to get your toy."

Then follow with the action you'd rather be her to be doing. She ends up with what she'd like, you didn't automatically say "No" and you showed her a safer way to get what she wants... The whole situation is full of win.

Gen & Joel · September 2011

I've been doing this with my LO since i can remember and i find that it helps out alot! to me it seems like he doesn't do certain things because he understands what i say and he knows why! I've always talked to him like crazy and he still doesn't talk too much but understands everything... i'm sure one of these days his vocabulary will explode

authorofdreamz · September 2011

hcape001:
For starters, if you say "no" the child doesn't know why it's wrong. They just know they're being told the same thing for everything. But if you say, "we don't touch that because it's hot.", they'll know why you shouldn't do it. They might not understand the concept of what hot is, but they will soon enough, and then they'll have something to connect it with.

I kind of agree but I think the child needs to know what hot means before not after. Toddlers are very curious and I think telling them not to touch because it's hot would make them want to touch it more to find out what hot means. When I was young and my mom was teaching us not to touch the oven because it was hot she put our hand on it, not long enough for it to burn us but long enough for us to feel that it was hot and uncomfortable and then told us not to touch it because it was hot. We never touched it again.

I also think that young children need to know the word "No." and that you are serious when you use it. In a dangerous situation you don't have time to get out a long explanation and hope they understand you barely have time to get out the word "No."

Marissa3209 · September 2011

That must be similar to what my mom did, she says that my first real word was "hot".

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