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Parenting after 35
RaeAnt
member
GRANDMOTHER?!
RaeAnt
member
Seriously?! One of my biggest fears with having a LO in my 30s or later was being called their Grandma. When i was about 10 or so, my Mom took me to the movies and the guy at the concessions told me to get my Grandma to get it for me, meaning my Mom. That remained in the back of my head ever since. I never wanted my child to be as embarrassed as I was by thinking that I was their grandparent.
Today at the local library's Toddler Time, another woman attending asked if my son was my grandson. needless to say, the tears just sprang forth which furthered my embarrassment. The irony of it was the fact that just yesterday, I had gotten a sassy new haircut and my hair dyed to cover all the gray. I also thought I looked so much better and was feeling pretty good about myself for a change. That comment sure threw that in the crapper.
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Re: GRANDMOTHER?!
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
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Dh was saying something similar. The thing is, a bunch of the people I graduated with now have HS or college age kids, so it certainly is possible. I just never wanted it to happen and had hoped I didn't look near my age. For years, people guessed way younger and then one day, they were all guessing my age or even older! All in a matter of a year it seems. I can't think for the life of me what changed.
I will say the woman apologized profusely and gave me a hug and kept saying she was a bad judge of age. But seriously?! Why would you ever ask that? Why say something about the person's "son" and if they aren't their son, let THEM correct you. Both parties would be much happier.
Man i really need to get my hot factor back. This frumpiness is really getting old..... lol
I was the only person at my 25th HS reunion with a 9 month old in tow. Most of the others are already grandparents (by several years). I was certainly a novelty.
I'm sure that lady learned her lesson!
Something similar happened to me. A neighbor whom I hadn't seen for a while, not even while I was pregnant, asked me if my baby was my grandson. He thought the baby was my eldest son's baby (he's 23). When I told him it was mine, he laughed as if I were joking then saw my face.
I tried not to take it personally, but it was pretty darn personal. I always was so proud to be the cool mom and the one teachers would mistaken for one of the kids, I won't have that problem this time around. But-I-still-don't-care. I love this little bundle of joy to pieces and feel like I finally did it right.
Besides, the babies will keep us young. I feel born all over again and ready to start anew!
Much better way to strike up a convo with a toddler's chaperone, IMO.
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Aw, I'm sorry that happened. Not nice!
Weight, post-high school education, and children: people need to realize that unless they already know the answer to the question they're going to ask, they need to keep their mouths shut. You shouldn't make assumptions about any of those things.
On the other side of the spectrum: there's a 12 year age difference between my youngest brother & I. When we were kids, my parents would pile us all in the car (there's 6 of us...no seat belts in the backseat...people sitting on each others laps) and take us to the mall. I would get detailed with pushing my youngest brother in his stroller. Whenever he would get fussy, for some reason my mom would find it hysterically funny to turn around & say to me "Miss, you really need to keep your baby quiet." And this would mortify me.
People are idiots.
Heck, when I was 17 and a Senior in High School, I took my 3-year-old cousin out Trick-or-Treating and a woman asked me if she was my daughter.
I was shocked and said "No! I did NOT have a baby when I was 14! I'm her cousin!" That woman was so embarrassed and apologized. Later I kept thinking do I look old? And it got worse when I went to the movies with my college roommate (5 months younger than me) and someone thought she was my daughter. WTF?
Now, at 41, I easily look like I'm in my early 30s. Well, most of the time. When my hair is freshly dyed.
I'm sure you looked great and that woman is just stupid.
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I am consoled by the fact that my grandmother (back in the 20's) didn't get married until she was 30 and my mom had us later too.....I come from a long line of older mamas.
Try not to pay attention. My oldest DD is a college senior, and my youngest DD is 10 months old. I haven't been called a grandma of my youngest DD yet, but I am sure this is coming.
People need to think before they speak. Sheesh!!! Reminds me of when a friend's MIL asked me at her baby shower when my due date was and I had to say "Oh I'm not pregnant, just fat" with a big smile. I wasn't even *that* fat, 5'5" and like 140 at the time, I think it was my outfit, it had a billowy top. She was so embarrassed SHE got teary eyed and all apologetic. And I felt kinda bad for making an older woman feel that bad, but dang, think before you speak!!!
People are just idiots. When we had V we were the same age as the grandparents in the room next to us. I hope that woman learned her lesson.
Oh and there was a woman at storytime today who looked to be closing in quickly on 50 with a toddler and all I could think was thumbs up to her for having this little girl - I just assumed she was her mom.