Okay, people, what's the big hurry?

pepomntpat · September 2011

Sex, right away? Driving, right away? Expecting to be back in shape right away?

You had a baby! You had a baby surgically! Take it easy on yourself and be nice to yourself.

I did NOTHING for two weeks except feed my baby, feed myself and shower. I was very blessed to have a husband who kept up with things, but I doubt I would have done much regardless. Those first few weeks are precious for bonding and essential for healing. Don't take shortcuts in your healing. It never hurts to take it a little easier than you think you may need to. Take this seriously. There is no need to be super mom yet!

biblionerd · September 2011

Fo realz

amyegunnip · September 2011

meryltheresa · September 2011

PREACH.

bonitatinabina143 · September 2011

rosebud218 · September 2011

pettycrocker · September 2011

ITA on taking it easy, but my H went back to working 16hr days the day I got out of the hospital, so the driving restriction wasn't even an option for me. I did try to take it easy as much I as I could but someone's got to get sh!t done! I'm sure I'm not the only one that had to get back to life as usual when LO came home.

As far as sex is concerned, I have no idea what the rush is with a lot of ladies. I'm 7wks PP and still have 0 interest in sex.

soulmates04 · September 2011

AGREED! I didn't do this with my first c/s and ended up with a huge area that wouldn't heal and had to be packed every week. This time the first two weeks I am down for the count!

pepomntpat · September 2011

Mrs Castillo:
ITA on taking it easy, but my H went back to working 16hr days the day I got out of the hospital, so the driving restriction wasn't even an option for me. I did try to take it easy as much I as I could but someone's got to get sh!t done! I'm sure I'm not the only one that had to get back to life as usual when LO came home.
As far as sex is concerned, I have no idea what the rush is with a lot of ladies. I'm 7wks PP and still have 0 interest in sex.

I just can't figure out what has to get done THAT badly. I really don't. Then again, I had my freezer packed with food and plenty of fresh groceries before I went to the hospital. I can't figure out what else would require leaving the house right away. The only emergency I can think of is not having food.

ladipale · September 2011

For me, I did not expect a C-section and was not prepared for the recovery and did not know what to expect at all. No one talks about how hard it is to recover from a C-section, and as someone used to running around and exercising frequently, being sidelined was really hard. I wanted to return to my 'normal' life ASAP. I'm still working on adjusting my expectations 8 months later.

Mrs_MBed · September 2011

Yes

I agree, just wanted to say that I waited as long as I could to drive (and was cleared by the OB), but my mom was driving me nuts and DD2 was in the NICU - which was less than 1/4 mile from my house, but too far to walk. I really just coasted from my apt to the hospital and back again If she wasn't in the NICU for her first month, my butt would have been planted on the couch.

I am hoping to only leave the couch to go to the bathroom after the twins come in Feb/March for the first 2+ wks.

laurasuzanne2006 · September 2011

pepomntpat:
Mrs Castillo:

ITA on taking it easy, but my H went back to working 16hr days the day I got out of the hospital, so the driving restriction wasn't even an option for me. I did try to take it easy as much I as I could but someone's got to get sh!t done! I'm sure I'm not the only one that had to get back to life as usual when LO came home.

As far as sex is concerned, I have no idea what the rush is with a lot of ladies. I'm 7wks PP and still have 0 interest in sex.

I just can't figure out what has to get done THAT badly. I really don't. Then again, I had my freezer packed with food and plenty of fresh groceries before I went to the hospital. I can't figure out what else would require leaving the house right away. The only emergency I can think of is not having food.

I agree with the philosophy, but i was in the same bought as the PP who's husband went to work right after discharge. Yeah housework didn't need to get done, but we have a naughty puppy i had to keep up after. LO needed to go to the doctor etc. We ended up going into the hospital unexpectedly so there were lose ends that needed to get finished.

g00dg0llymsm0lly · September 2011

Amen sistah.

holly321 · September 2011

I didn't do anything for the first 2 weeks, and I remember my OB yelling at me when he took my staples out, for doing too much, and told me to take it easy (they were really red and pulled at). I couldn't figure out how to do anything less, and I still felt like crap!

manda26 · September 2011

You're right. I keep finding things I 'need' to do like laundry, straightening up, putting away. And I really just should not care about any mess. I'm much more anal then I thought!

ChiTown Bridget · September 2011

Well Said!!

avalivsmom · September 2011

After I had my first baby via C-section, everyone wanted me to relax, relax, relax. How could I relax???? I was excited about having a new baby and taking her home after three days in the hospital. I felt I did enough relaxing. I'm not the type of person who can just sit and leave it to other people to do things. I get bored, I get antsy, I have to get up and go. Sitting on the couch is not for me. I think I was only allowed to walk up and down the stairs only once or twice a day. I can't even count how many times I was up and down. Wasn't trying to be a supermom, just couldn't sit still.

The second C-section, MAYBE I should have relaxed but being that I had a baby in the NICU and a 15 month old at home to me that wasn't really an option. Sure I had people who would help out but once again, I had to be in the thick of it.

So what it basically comes down to is what sort of personality you have.

holly321 · September 2011

avalivsmom:
After I had my first baby via C-section, everyone wanted me to relax, relax, relax. How could I relax???? I was excited about having a new baby and taking her home after three days in the hospital. I felt I did enough relaxing. I'm not the type of person who can just sit and leave it to other people to do things. I get bored, I get antsy, I have to get up and go. Sitting on the couch is not for me. I think I was only allowed to walk up and down the stairs only once or twice a day. I can't even count how many times I was up and down. Wasn't trying to be a supermom, just couldn't sit still.

The second C-section, MAYBE I should have relaxed but being that I had a baby in the NICU and a 15 month old at home to me that wasn't really an option. Sure I had people who would help out but once again, I had to be in the thick of it.

So what it basically comes down to is what sort of personality you have.

I disagree. I don't ever just sit and relax, and I have ADHD. Also, I didn't see my 3 days in the hospital at all like relaxation.

I think it depends on how the surgery effects your body. It is different for every woman and every pregnancy. I think part of it has to do with positioning of the baby and how hard it is to pull them out.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken · September 2011

I had no issue doing this the first time. This time I worry about trying to keep up with ds, which I know won't happen and I'll feel really bad about it. Thankfully, I'll have someone home with me for 3 weeks after between my husband and mom.

Kadie331 · September 2011

pepomntpat · September 2011

avalivsmom:
After I had my first baby via C-section, everyone wanted me to relax, relax, relax. How could I relax???? I was excited about having a new baby and taking her home after three days in the hospital. I felt I did enough relaxing. I'm not the type of person who can just sit and leave it to other people to do things. I get bored, I get antsy, I have to get up and go. Sitting on the couch is not for me. I think I was only allowed to walk up and down the stairs only once or twice a day. I can't even count how many times I was up and down. Wasn't trying to be a supermom, just couldn't sit still.

The second C-section, MAYBE I should have relaxed but being that I had a baby in the NICU and a 15 month old at home to me that wasn't really an option. Sure I had people who would help out but once again, I had to be in the thick of it.

So what it basically comes down to is what sort of personality you have.

No, it doesn't. You had a MAJOR surgery. I don't get the desire to discount that. It is a VERY big deal and you should follow the doctor's orders.

ETA: And I don't call what I did relaxing either FFS. I was feeding my baby, letting my body heal, getting to know my baby. Those are important things...so much more important than getting things done.

I can see a bigger issue with another child to care for. I hope those with number two have someone who can help. Obviously your other kids can't be neglected.

avalivsmom · September 2011

This is a matter of opinion and how well you know your body and your limits. I did follow my dr's orders which were not to overdo it which I didn't. What do you do when the baby is sleeping?

I don't discount that it was major surgery but I knew what I could and what I could not do and what I wanted to do.

My body healed fine, my children were nurtured and still are as I am a SAHM. That is what is most important...healthy and loved children and the health of the mother.

pepomntpat · September 2011

avalivsmom:
This is a matter of opinion and how well you know your body and your limits. I did follow my dr's orders which were not to overdo it which I didn't. What do you do when the baby is sleeping?

I don't discount that it was major surgery but I knew what I could and what I could not do and what I wanted to do.
My body healed fine, my children were nurtured and still are as I am a SAHM. That is what is most important...healthy and loved children and the health of the mother.

The first few weeks, I held her while she slept. The first four months I wore her in the Moby (once it didn't hurt my incision. I am not sure what this has to do with anything though. Aren't you supposed to sleep when the baby sleeps at first anyway?

avalivsmom · September 2011

I didn't hold my baby while she slept. I put her in her bassinet to sleep and that's when I did what I wanted to do. I didn't need to sleep as much as she did.

isacdimi10 · September 2011

I agree to take it easy. I did with DD but some circumstances are out of our control.

I was lucky enough to have someone who didn't work when DD was born. So I had a babysitter (for myself) for 2 weeks.

When DS was born DH had just started a new job so he couldn't take time off and there was no one else. After the first 4 days it was me and the kids. As for driving DH doesn't drive so I drove as soon as I got off the pain pills.

laurasuzanne2006 · September 2011

GhostMonkey:
laurasuzanne2006:
pepomntpat:
Mrs Castillo:

ITA on taking it easy, but my H went back to working 16hr days the day I got out of the hospital, so the driving restriction wasn't even an option for me. I did try to take it easy as much I as I could but someone's got to get sh!t done! I'm sure I'm not the only one that had to get back to life as usual when LO came home.

As far as sex is concerned, I have no idea what the rush is with a lot of ladies. I'm 7wks PP and still have 0 interest in sex.

I just can't figure out what has to get done THAT badly. I really don't. Then again, I had my freezer packed with food and plenty of fresh groceries before I went to the hospital. I can't figure out what else would require leaving the house right away. The only emergency I can think of is not having food.

I agree with the philosophy, but i was in the same bought as the PP who's husband went to work right after discharge. Yeah housework didn't need to get done, but we have a naughty puppy i had to keep up after. LO needed to go to the doctor etc. We ended up going into the hospital unexpectedly so there were lose ends that needed to get finished.

Picking up here and there after a puppy (concept- don't get a puppy when you know you are that close to delivering. That could have been avoided) and feeling the need to drive all over creation/ keep the house spotless are very different things. There are women that will drive to the store just because days after they are released. They don't get that they are endangering everyone on the road when they do that.

And it doesn't change the fact that you are recovering from major surgery and need to act accordingly. It may be routine, but it takes time to recover. If you had any other kind of surgery, you wouldn't be going completely against your doctor's orders would you? This should be no exception.

I guess puppy wasn't the right word. We've had her since last june. So a 1/2 year before i was even pregnant. She may be over a year but she is still a handful and you can't neglect other children or pets because you had surgery.

holly321 · September 2011

avalivsmom:
This is a matter of opinion and how well you know your body and your limits. I did follow my dr's orders which were not to overdo it which I didn't. What do you do when the baby is sleeping?

I don't discount that it was major surgery but I knew what I could and what I could not do and what I wanted to do.
My body healed fine, my children were nurtured and still are as I am a SAHM. That is what is most important...healthy and loved children and the health of the mother.

what is that supposed to mean?

avalivsmom · September 2011

What is what supposed to mean?

pettycrocker · September 2011

I'm not even sure where you all got your responses from based on my post, but I'm not quoting all of that here. So here is a very general response: I said "I did try to take it easy as much as I could" Me saying the driving restriction didn't apply was relating to all of my LOs pedi appts.(DD had to be seen several times in the first few weeks for various reasons) as well as my own follow-ups. Not nights out on the town, grocery shopping, running to the post office, going to get my hair done, etc. Even though I have no idea how you all got that impression from my OP. Not to mention we also have 2 full grown dogs that we have had for 4 years that need to be tended to and walked. (Totally should have thought of that before I had an emergency c-section!) Obviously that is all besides the fact that I had a newborn baby to take care of BY MYSELF. Since like I mentioned in my original post my husband was WORKING 16hrs a day. These are things that would have to be done, surgery or NOT. All of which I consider to be fairly minimal activity considering there are 20 million other things I could have been doing, including going to the post office, and getting my hair done etc, etc. So like I said in my OP "I did try to take it easy as much as I could" Feel free to quote this 500x, if I remember- I will check back sometime tomorrow and perhaps have another very general response.

P.S since some of you have such a huge problem with people still having things to do after their c-sections, perhaps next time you can send YOUR husbands over to tend to these things so we can rest and relax, that would be awesome. Otherwise maybe you all can chill out and stop trying to police peoples recoveries. I haven't seen one single person in this thread mention running marathons 4 days PP, and that is really the level at which a lot of you are replying.

avalivsmom · September 2011

Well said!

elisbu · September 2011

My DD was in NICU and DH was in the middle of finals, so after 10 days of lining up friends to take me to and from the hospital, I was glad to be able to take myself.

As for the house. I hated coming home from NICU to a messy house. I felt like I couldn't control anything there, I didn't want cluter when I got home.
I did NOT clean, but I did pick up. I think the moving actually helped me heal faster.
I am not suggesting sweeping, dusting, or using the vacuume. But I did keep the dishes clean, emptied and repacked our bags for NICU and folded laundry after DH washed it.

I wonder what it will be like next time if I get to bring that baby home with me? Will I want to relax more? Will I have more to do with the older LO? Will DH be able to take time off?

laurasuzanne2006 · September 2011

elisbu:

My DD was in NICU and DH was in the middle of finals, so after 10 days of lining up friends to take me to and from the hospital, I was glad to be able to take myself.

As for the house. I hated coming home from NICU to a messy house. I felt like I couldn't control anything there, I didn't want cluter when I got home.
I did NOT clean, but I did pick up. I think the moving actually helped me heal faster.
I am not suggesting sweeping, dusting, or using the vacuume. But I did keep the dishes clean, emptied and repacked our bags for NICU and folded laundry after DH washed it.

I wonder what it will be like next time if I get to bring that baby home with me? Will I want to relax more? Will I have more to do with the older LO? Will DH be able to take time off?

everyone has a different situation and sometimes things have to be done. I probably would have had a meltdown if i didn't do general picking up and getting rid of clutter. And everyone also has a different recovery and feels differently.

hopkins5 · September 2011

pepomntpat:
avalivsmom:
After I had my first baby via C-section, everyone wanted me to relax, relax, relax. How could I relax???? I was excited about having a new baby and taking her home after three days in the hospital. I felt I did enough relaxing. I'm not the type of person who can just sit and leave it to other people to do things. I get bored, I get antsy, I have to get up and go. Sitting on the couch is not for me. I think I was only allowed to walk up and down the stairs only once or twice a day. I can't even count how many times I was up and down. Wasn't trying to be a supermom, just couldn't sit still.

The second C-section, MAYBE I should have relaxed but being that I had a baby in the NICU and a 15 month old at home to me that wasn't really an option. Sure I had people who would help out but once again, I had to be in the thick of it.

So what it basically comes down to is what sort of personality you have.
No, it doesn't. You had a MAJOR surgery. I don't get the desire to discount that. It is a VERY big deal and you should follow the doctor's orders.
ETA: And I don't call what I did relaxing either FFS. I was feeding my baby, letting my body heal, getting to know my baby. Those are important things...so much more important than getting things done.
I can see a bigger issue with another child to care for. I hope those with number two have someone who can help. Obviously your other kids can't be neglected.

I couldn't have said it better, pep.

I get that we all have different personalities and our bodies all recover and deal with pain differently. That does not change the fact that you've just had major surgery. I'm not one to sit around "relaxing" either but my butt was on the couch for the first little while. Driving, sex, and strenuous exercise before your body is ready for it can be quite dangerous. Doctor's orders are given to you for a reason. Slow down.

holly321 · September 2011

avalivsmom:
What is what supposed to mean?

I accidentally didn't bold everything. But what does the comment about your children being nurtured because you are a sahm mean?

It sounds like you are saying working moms don't nurture.

avalivsmom · September 2011

Are you serious??? Where did I say working moms don't nurture? I think working moms nurture their children as much as SAHMs do. I never said it and never implied it so do me a favor and don't put words in my mouth. You're skirting away from the issue being discussed.

akayf · September 2011

avalivsmom:
Are you serious??? Where did I say working moms don't nurture? I think working moms nurture their children as much as SAHMs do. I never said it and never implied it so do me a favor and don't put words in my mouth. You're skirting away from the issue being discussed.

You said something along the lines that your kids were nutured and continue to be since you are a SAHM. You never directly said working moms don't nurture their kids but the way you worded your statement does kinda imply that you think that. When I read it, I though the exact same thing as the poster who orginally asked you about it.

Sundrup23 · September 2011

I totally understand the point that unplanned means that you are totally not prepared for the after effects of the c-section...which can mean having to do a bit more when you get home. For all of those who have had a planned c-section, I think lining up help for first couple of weeks is just common sense. If you have no family around then ask friends or your church community for a bit of help. Have a neighbor walk your dogs for you a couple times a day. You did just have major abdominal surgery. It takes more time that you think for your body to heal even if you think you feel fine. I am lucky to have a great mother and SIL who take a week off from work to come stay with me especially to help with my older children who I cannot attend to as quickly or efficiently as I could otherwise. DH takes a week off from the time of my c-section to the next week.

But I think the most important thing is to use common sense. The no driving and stairs rule is set for a reason. You are doing yourself more harm than good by not following the specific rules. My doctor never told me to sit my arse on the couch for 2 weeks straight either. They are very adamant about moving around just to not do the specific things they put on your discharge papers.

avalivsmom · September 2011

Because I am talking about myself and no one else. I don't know anyone's situation and I don't pass judgment on anyone whether they are SAHMs or if they are working moms. I applaud all mothers, the ones that stay at home and the ones who work. To me there is no difference. I am lucky enough that I can stay home.

pepomntpat · September 2011

Sundrup23:
I totally understand the point that unplanned means that you are totally not prepared for the after effects of the c-section...which can mean having to do a bit more when you get home. For all of those who have had a planned c-section, I think lining up help for first couple of weeks is just common sense. If you have no family around then ask friends or your church community for a bit of help. Have a neighbor walk your dogs for you a couple times a day. You did just have major abdominal surgery. It takes more time that you think for your body to heal even if you think you feel fine. I am lucky to have a great mother and SIL who take a week off from work to come stay with me especially to help with my older children who I cannot attend to as quickly or efficiently as I could otherwise. DH takes a week off from the time of my c-section to the next week.
But I think the most important thing is to use common sense. The no driving and stairs rule is set for a reason. You are doing yourself more harm than good by not following the specific rules. My doctor never told me to sit my arse on the couch for 2 weeks straight either. They are very adamant about moving around just to not do the specific things they put on your discharge papers.

Well said!!

ETA: I also had an emergency c-section. I don't see that as an excuse not to take it easier. In fact my understanding is that the recovery from an emergency c/s is harder than a planned, though I have nothing to compare it to. I had planned an all natural birth in a birth center. I was still prepared to take it a bit easier than normal the first few weeks. My dog was a bit neglected in the walking department, but I just had him run the paces through his tricks to keep him entertained.

I really just think some women don't take this surgery seriously and think that if they feel okay it's okay to jump to it. For anyone who hasn't had the surgery yet, keep this in mind. You will need to take it easier than normal. Stock that freezer, find some neighbors to walk your dog, get the church ladies to make some food (mine went all out. I am still eating it!). Honestly, this is true no matter what kind of birth you have.

You can make excuses about why you made the decisions you did if you decided not to follow doctor's orders. However, saying that it is okay just because you felt fine is poor advice to give those who haven't had the c/s yet. So, as I said, be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself and your baby. That is all!

lucylea · September 2011

My OB specifically said, don't sit on your butt, moving will help you heal. I had no driving restrictions once I was off pain meds and could sit comfortably (happened while I was still at the hospital) and had no stair restrictions. I was told not to lift anything heavier than the baby in his carseat for two weeks, which I followed. My DH was home for two full weeks, but I sure didn't expect him to wait on me hand and foot while I sat around. Some of your OBs must just be extra conservative. I can't imagine doing nothing for six weeks.

I do agree on the no sex thing, though. First of all who has the time for it and second of all my sex drive is on a long-term vacation!

avalivsmom · September 2011

There are always going to be those who agree and those who disagree and everyone should just agree to disagree. If I'm not mistaken, most, if not all women on this post are not doctors, just reiterating what their doctors told them. I had two emergency C-sections and one of them I was in the hospital with pre-eclampsia for 3 days before surgery. My doctor told me no lifting, no driving, no sex and minimal stair climbing for two weeks. No where did he say to sit and do nothing other than taking care of LO. For those 2 weeks I didn't drive, no sex, no lifting and MAYBE I overdid the stair climbing. I wasn't going to pop a stitch if I decided to make a grilled cheese or talk a walk around my cul de sac for fresh air.

There are too many "armchair doctors" on here trying to dictate what you should or should not do after a C-section. Granted it is a major surgery and you should limit activity, but everyone knows what they should and should not do. No one is going to jeopardize their health after having a brand new baby.

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