Any advice? I'm kinda freaking out...

Re: Any advice? I'm kinda freaking out...

• CaitlinJ22 member

  September 2011

  Mine are farther apart but I can say you will most likely have a 1 year old who naps at least 1, maybe 2 naps a day and it will make life easier for you to get a break from the older one for a bit. 

  I imagined the worst and it turned out easier than I imagine....not EASY but easier. You'll find your groove. In the beginning I bathed DD when she needed it, every few days in our sink while DS was napping. When she got older, I would bathe her after I put DS to bed, and then when she was 6 months they bathed together with her in the bath seat and him in the big part of the tub.

  It's inevitable that they wll cry at the same time, you will adjust and figure out who you can calm faster. It's like a new job, you freak out about it for a while before, and then the first day you are thrown into it and by a few days to weeks in you realize it's gonna be ok. I remember just feeling like I wnted to have her so I could stop worrying about things and just DO it already! 

  You;ll be ok I promise.  

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• moonfaerie member

  September 2011

  Mine are 14 months apart, and it ended up being much easier at first than I ever anticipated. Around 12 months, babies get much more independent, so by the time C was born, L was fine hanging out near us, playing by herself, while I tended to C. Also, C slept so much at first (and stayed asleep when I put her down) so I could still tend to L's needs almost immediately. Truth be told, I did not attempt to bathe the babies at first unless DH was home or another adult was visiting to occupy the other one. Eventually you will fall into a groove where one child will play in their crib while you give the other a bath, etc.

  Not to scare, but it got harder for me around three months into 2u2. That's when C stopped napping unless I held her, and started getting very clingy to me and wouldn't really be satisfied with DH or anyone else holding her if I was around. That rough phase lasted for a couple of months, and by the time C was 6 months old she enjoyed DH more and I could get more time to myself or to play with L.

  The time does fly by even though it doesn't always seem like when you're in the throes of constant crying, etc. My best advice is to go with the flow, and let people help out when they can. You will be just fine!

  

  
  

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• smerka member

  September 2011

  Mine are just over eleven months apart. The first couple months are rough. The lack of sleep really kicked my butt. Once the younger one started sleeping through the night, life got easier. At first I bathed #2 when #1 napped. Once #2 could sit up, we started bathing them together. They will both scream at the same time and you will probably join them. But your kids won't grow up to be felons because you had to pick one to attend to first. The hours will drag, but the days will fly. Try to enjoy it all.

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• HUrquiza

  September 2011

  Thanks everyone! I have been pretty much imagining total mental breakdowns on my part, and total tantrum meltdowns on the part of my 8 month old. I really am trying to be positive, but I kinda screwed myself when it comes to #1. He is so spoiled. He still doesn't always sleep through the night; I am the only one who can really comfort him; and he's a whiner... and I usually give in. A lot has to change within the next few months or I have a feeling I'm going to be a miserable momma!
  

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• JLSmith124 member

  September 2011

  Mine are 14 months apart. I'm not going to lie. It is completely crazy at times, but you get into a schedule and learn what works when. 

  We had a pack and play set up in the living room with a basket of clothes for each of them so I didn't have to run up and down stairs all day, that was a big help.

  I bathed both boys in the kitchen sink when I was by myself, and in the big tub when my husband was home.

  Good luck! It's not so bad

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• randa0880 member

  September 2011

  Dd1 was the same way- a momma's girl, only comforted by me, not sttn all the time. We ended up doing the ferber method the week I gave birth to dd2. It has been a godsend. Of course, it is not for everybody, but it worked for us. Right before dd2 came, dd1 learned to occupy herself with playing on the floor. She actually didn't want me as much and we got her some new toys and books she wanted to play with. It honestly has not been that bad, some days it is so hard when both cry at the same time and are hungry at the same time, but you learn to juggle both kids and I was thinking it was going to be worse. The last week has been horrid due to dd1 cutting 4 teeth and wanting me all the time and she was up for a few hours last night. The mornings are hard when they both wake at the same time, but we are slowly getting a system going. You will be ok.
  

  

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• MsUnorganized

  September 2011

  I had my third when my twins were 11.5 months old.  It's tough, but now that my youngest is three months old, we're doing well.  He's sleeping at night and I have a bit of sanity back.  The biggest thing is to get a routine going during the day as soon as possible.  It helps me make it through each day.  I know what to expect, and so do the kids.  

  Don't worry...you'll get the hang of it!  And, remember, it won't last forever.  Eventually they'll all be able to talk, do things for themselves, etc.  You won't always have a one year old and a newborn.   

  

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• brharrison1

  September 2011

  I'm new to this and no expert............My kids are two days short of being 13 months apart (daughter 14 mo, son 1 month). i've only  had my son home just over a week as he came early and spent a month in the NICU so my experience is limited.

  my advice:

  that first week home, take ALL the help you can get! really think now how you want to carry two in public in the begining. if you are going to do a double stroller, find out if it fits thru the doors at your peditricians office (one of the first places you will go). thankfully mine did fit and it was a great way to keep my 1 yr old contained :-).

  get a moby wrap if you are comfortable baby wearing. the moby wrap is safe for newborns. i was feeling super guilty about all the time my newborn was NOT on me as opposed to the time i spent with my oldest when she was newborn. its hard since the oldest is aware and knows you are splitting your time but you can't disregard the newborns needs and your wants to cuddle. so i'm wearing him :-)

  test your two monitiors now. i had to return two as one had interference with the first and the second wasn't loud enough - that created extra errands early on which wasn't ideal.

  if you can get your oldest on some sort of schedule, do it. my daughter was NOT on a schedule and we've been able to get onto one pretty quickly. also, the suggestion of practicing with a baby doll with your oldest is a good one. i really felt my daughter was way too young to get any benefit from this but we did it anyways "just in case" and WOW! it worked! you'll be amazed at what they pick up on.

  i'm sure we'll survive but i can't promise it since i'm not far into this myself! hahaha

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• moonfaerie member

  September 2011

  HUrquiza:

  He still doesn't always sleep through the night; I am the only one who can really comfort him;

  Even infants who do STTN go through phases where they don't. My oldest STTN like a charm when DD2 was born, but hit a rough patch at 15 months (when #2 was a month old)where she stopped STTN for a little while. No matter what your child does now (or when your second is born), they will go through phases where they do it differently, so don't beat yourself up if your oldest isn't STTN, etc. Everyone in your family will get into the new groove. Really!

  

  
  

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