Why is 2u2 unique/singled out?

nycweddinggal · September 2011

DC2 will be 20mos younger then DD. I am very excited but nervous too (it happened quickly for us, and in more of the "not trying to prevent" mode vs really actively trying for close spacing).

That said, I'm wondering why 2u2 ends up being a "big deal" (own message board, comments people make).

Do you really think that it is really easier if DCs are 2.5, 3 years (or even more) apart? Is it just that there are more logistical challenges like 2 in diapers, 2 still not fully verbal?

I am looking forward to the fact that I haven't been spoiled by finishing diapers only to start again, to know that the childproofing has been done (not undone, only to be done again as large age differences might be) and that I won't have several years of real sleep only to have night wakings again.

lauraua · September 2011

This is a very interesting way of looking at 2u2! I like it!

alabaster_angel · September 2011

I like to think people realize the wisdom of having 2u2 & single us out for our superior decision making.

That could be the sleep deprivation talking though.

12bailey18 · September 2011

I view it just as you do. But I think it get a reaction because you essentially have two babies close in age and that really doesn't seem to be the norm in society. And really you've been pregnant twice in 2 years, which also tends to shock people. I think it also gets a reaction because it's damn hard. LOL. You have two kids that aren't in pre-school yet, aren't talking, and not as indpendant as older toddlers.

NavyPilotWife · September 2011

There are pros and cons to every age gap and you have to do what's right for your family. I love having the girls close in age. I get a lot of "you've got your hands full" comments, when out in public. I find those annoying because A) I'd rather have my hands full than empty

my kids are behaving when they say this and C) I feel like it's a euphemism for "don't you know where babies come from." I'm sure most people don't mean anything by it, but it rubs me the wrong way. People's faces are particularly amusing, when I'm pushing the double stroller and walking two 60lb mutts. Every once and awhile, you'll get a great stranger comment or overhear someone say something positive, which brings a smile to your face. But yeah, in general I'd say that 2u2 is shocking to most.

MammaBear81 · September 2011

alabaster_angel:
I like to think people realize the wisdom of having 2u2 & single us out for our superior decision making.
That could be the sleep deprivation talking though.

I like this answer Big Smile

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2011

I dont necessarily think it's easier if kids are further apart. Every mom I've known IRL had a difficult transition with the 3 year age gap. The older child got used to being an only, and acted out a lot when the new baby came. My SIL had a 5 year gap between kids, and felt like a FTM because she had totally forgotten the newborn stage.

I think a lot of how hard/easy any gap is dependent on the kids involved. I've had 2 easy kids so far *knock on wood* but if I didnt, I might feel differently about 2u2. I thought for me the benefits of having them close outweighed the downfalls. Others see it differently and that's fine. I get why someone wouldnt want to have 2 totally dependent children. I just felt long-term it was the best choice for our family both emotionally and financially.

Army~Wife · September 2011

NavyPilotWife:
There are pros and cons to every age gap and you have to do what's right for your family. I love having the girls close in age. I get a lot of "you've got your hands full" comments, when out in public. I find those annoying because A) I'd rather have my hands full than empty my kids are behaving when they say this and C) I feel like it's a euphemism for "don't you know where babies come from." I'm sure most people don't mean anything by it, but it rubs me the wrong way. People's faces are particularly amusing, when I'm pushing the double stroller and walking two 60lb mutts. Every once and awhile, you'll get a great stranger comment or overhear someone say something positive, which brings a smile to your face. But yeah, in general I'd say that 2u2 is shocking to most.

My FIL repeatedly told us that he was going to have to buy us a TV after we told him the we were going to have another baby. I always laughed it off but it actually still upsets me to think about it.

OP I look at it the same way that you do. Better to have both/multiple going thru the baby stages all at once so that you do don't have to get reacquainted with the demands. Ours weren't planned to be this close but I am so happy that it worked out this way. I truly love it!!!

3/05bride · September 2011

I agree with you. I was also not preventing, but not trying when we ended up with 2U2. My #2 will be born any day, making my children 16-17 months apart. I can see some advantage to waiting until kids are 4-5 years apart but if nothing else, I am too old to wait that long. As for waiting another year and having kids 2.5 years apart, I do not see how this would be easier. My friends with this spacing seem to having a hard transition and I don't think a 2.5 year is going to be much help, be excited about the baby the way an older kid could be.

karatechrissy · September 2011

While you bring up good points, 2u2 is incredibly difficult (at least in the beginning) and it is nice to gave a support group. My children are 13 months apart. There are several times a day I wish I could crawl into a ball and shut the door. Both cry, don't nap at the same time... I'll get one to nap the other wakes up... I'm constantly going and going. I love my children, but it's nice to know that others can sympathize with me.

CaitlinJ22 · September 2011

I think the hardest thing for me was that I couldnt trust my older one to listen and stay near me in public at 18 months when I had a newborn to care for. He would run like crazy, so I needed to plan ahead when I needed to nurse in public, or just cross the street. I couldnt say to him (like I do now at almost 3) please stay near mommy, and he would listen---yeah right. I think every age gap has its pros/cons, but having two so close is difficult at times. I think the diaper thing is the EASIEST part. If I had to potty train my son now while having a newborn who needed to be nursed constantly i would pull my hair out. I love so many aspects of having my kids so close, but its tiring to say the least.

I do think its nice that my son wasnt the only child for long making him spoiled...my niece was like that and had a hard adjustment to her new sister.

howleyshell · September 2011

CaitlinJ22:
I think the hardest thing for me was that I couldnt trust my older one to listen and stay near me in public at 18 months when I had a newborn to care for.

This.

My kids at 3, 4, and 5 were much more likely to listen, mind and play independently than they were at 17 months.

I watched a friend's 9 month old last weekend and was stunned at how easy it was to handle the baby with the boys being older.

12bailey18 · September 2011

CaitlinJ22:

I think the hardest thing for me was that I couldnt trust my older one to listen and stay near me in public at 18 months when I had a newborn to care for.

I do think its nice that my son wasnt the only child for long making him spoiled...my niece was like that and had a hard adjustment to her new sister.

Yep, this is what I struggle with too with my 20 month old. He's not a runner but he does wander. It makes things very difficult when we go out. That's definitely been my biggest challenge.

MAMAxB · September 2011

Honestly I think that 2u2 is "unique" because people are less focused on building a family now and more focused on other things in life versus back when people had 5-10+ kids.

That isn't mean to be flame worthy.. but people don't want to deal with the extra work it takes to have 2 babies. They want what is convenient for them.

This really isn't meant to be snarky - just that society is different now

SirSleepsALot · September 2011

alabaster_angel:

I like to think people realize the wisdom of having 2u2 & single us out for our superior decision making.

That could be the sleep deprivation talking though.

Yes

SirSleepsALot · September 2011

CaitlinJ22:

I think the hardest thing for me was that I couldnt trust my older one to listen and stay near me in public at 18 months when I had a newborn to care for. He would run like crazy, so I needed to plan ahead when I needed to nurse in public, or just cross the street. I couldnt say to him (like I do now at almost 3) please stay near mommy, and he would listen---yeah right. I think every age gap has its pros/cons, but having two so close is difficult at times. I think the diaper thing is the EASIEST part. If I had to potty train my son now while having a newborn who needed to be nursed constantly i would pull my hair out. I love so many aspects of having my kids so close, but its tiring to say the least.

I do think its nice that my son wasnt the only child for long making him spoiled...my niece was like that and had a hard adjustment to her new sister.

THIS!!!!! This has so been the hardest part for me! Other than that, I absolutely LOVE how close they are and it wasn't planned, and I was freaked out about it until DS2 was actually born. I can't imagine it any other way. ) I just wish DS1 would hang out and not run off when I asked him to! haha.

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