Day Care worries and woes

Fergiegal · September 2011

I am currently laid off, due in December, and my unemployment will be running out in June. My plan is I am going to start sending applications out by April, and then whenever I do get hired somewhere, my mother will come up to the state I live in for about 2 months to take care of the baby. After that, the plan was the my Sister in law would start watching him, but she is only 22 (an immature 22), and I don't really feel 100% comfortable having her watch my baby full time before he is a year old. So, I have been now battling with the idea of day care, which could unfortunately be a possibility for my baby. I have heard some horror stories about day cares, plus how their chances increase tremendously for viruses, flu, colds, ear infections, etc when they are day care babies.

Anyone out there battling with day care worries for your baby? Or if anyone could share their experiences with day cares, it would be much appreciated.

Thank you!

StephCripps · September 2011

I kinda have some.. My mom currently watches my son while my husband and I work..

she's unsure if she'll be able to handle 2 LO's.

So after my Mat leave with this baby.. i might be in need of a sitter..

My cousin and her daughter will be living with us, and she's usually unemployed in the winter time (she's a landscaper so no work for her in the winter months)...

So she might be up for staying with my kids while we work but i havent' asked yet hehe

frf1537 · September 2011

There are some daycares out there that are horrible, but there are also some that are really amazing. Group care has its advantages as well as disadvantages, so be sure to do your research and decide what is right for your family. A couple of good resources: Paths to Quality and NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children). They have info on what to look for in a quality center and what to ask. Also centers who have either of these certifications have met certain criteria that go above state regulations, Paths to Quality actually has a star rating system like hotels and restaurants. I worked in an amazing daycare for 6 years and never had issues with my daughter attending there.

pinksweetpea2 · September 2011

As PP said, there are good ones and there are not so good ones. You have plenty of time to find a good one for your LO.

As for getting sick, they are going to either get sick now or later...and keeping them out of daycare does not guarantee that they are not going to get sick. Lily has 4 ear infections, a few colds and a stomach virus in the first year of her life and I was a SAHM. Last year she was in daycare for 5 months and only caught one illness (Hand, Foot and Mouth). In the past year she has either been in preschool or daycare and has not had more than a cold and has had NOTHING since February.

GL to you!

Mom22inFeb · September 2011

I absolutely love our day care. Our DD loves it too. They have lesson plans and prepare hot, healthy meals for them everyday (when they are infants you provide your own milk/formula). They give us a copy of the lesson plan and menu each week. If there is something we dont think our little ones will eat on the menu we can just inform the center and provide a replacement meal for that day.

Our daughter has learned so many great things at day care. They learned sign language as young toddlers (simple things like please, more, etc.). They read books and sing songs and do artwork. And they get to socialize with other kids and learn to share at a young age.

With all that said, sure they are at risk for more viruses when they are around that many children all the time. If they dont get colds and ear infections now, they will just get them when they are in kindergarten. My DD has gotten her fair share of cold bugs throughout her time in day care; but nothing serious. Her immune system is nice and strong now because of it

526SadieSadie · September 2011

I'd suggest checking with your local bump board for DC recommendations and since you aren't working now, drop in on some and visit. If you get a good feeling about one, check with your state to see if there are any complaints against the facility, the Board of Health, too. The ones that give you a not-so-good feeling, you can just skip. Even if their record is clean, your instinct will tell you everything you need to know.

My office was closed for almost a week after hurricane Irene and I stopped by one daycare I thought looked nice on the outside and I was very impressed by the inside facility. As d-day gets nearer, I'll look into more of them.

As far as sickness, it sucks to be sick, but it builds up antibodies. A child who never gets exposed to germs can get severely sick later on.

sunnyday016 · September 2011

We love our daycare center and so does DD. She's gone there since she was 6 weeks old. This baby will go when he/she is 6 weeks as well. DD has gotten sick, but nothing more than runny nose/cough/fever in the winter time. She's also had pink eye a few times, but that really only lasts one day. Kids just get sick whether they're in daycare or not.

DD is very social, outgoing, & talkative and I think a big reason for it is her center. She's around kids her age every day and is learning so much. Honestly, I'd take the socialization that kids get at a daycare over the "safe" feeling of having a relative watch her 1 on 1. She's thriving in the daycare environment.

sanriobaby · September 2011

Like pp said, there are wonderful and horrible day cares out there. The really good ones are easier to find than you think, good word of mouth is a great indication. Things to look at when choosing a daycare, how long the staff has worked there b/c high turnover is a bad sign, if they provide current and past recommendations from families who use/d thier services, question if and how often they have independant cleaning/sanitation services come in to disinfect the facility, the teacher/student ratio, how do they deal w/sick children and how do they deal w/agressive kids, and thier comfort level of unannouced parent visits b/c some places have no issue where others have specific rules abot this, which is both good and bad. Have you also looked into the idea of having a nanny? Depending on your location and the going rate, having a nanny come and care for your LO can be close in price to daycare. My advice, start looking into it now, do your research and most importantly, no matter where or who you leave your child with, make it a point to drop in unexpectedly, this is the best way to see if the quality of care for your LO is up to your expectations. Trust your gut instinct. Good luck!

jf198400 · September 2011

Day Care is not evil. I know its hard to trust a stranger with your baby, but isn't it better to leave her with a qualified teacher with tons of experience rather than an immature 22 year old you don't trust? DD is in daycare and loves it. She gets to play with other kids all day long and the teachers come up with so many great activities. They key is to find a daycare that you really like and feel comfortable with. You have plenty of time, so start looking, and I'm sure you'll learn its not as bad as you think.

JessieJH · September 2011

My reccomendation would be to start visiting daycares now to see if one clicks for you. You don't have to sign up, but at least this way you won't be in a panic.

I started visiting day cares (without warning so you see what they are really like) about two months ago. The quality varies quite wildly, but I managed to find one I liked.

Things that turned me off- walking in to the infant room and that babies were not being held (i.e. just on the floor or even worse- in swings) and a lack of interactive toys and floor padding and general cleanliness. Turns ons for me were: lots of fun baby toys, no babies in swings, care-takers interacting with the babies and obviously having fun with them and of course- smiling and happy babies.

Another tip I've gotten is to breastfeed as long as possible. That will give them some extra immunity against the germs they pick up at daycare. The daycares I liked were all supportive of giving baby Breast Milk as long as you pumped and provided enough to get them through the day.

Keep faith- you'll find one that works!

rcanales · September 2011

What about in home daycare? I had my son in three different daycares over a five year span and was only happy here and there. As an infant he stayed with a sitter who I knew well. Once he was one I put him in at a daycare where I knew a lot of the people because the facility was affiliated with the after school program I worked for. For that year I was BEYOND pleased, he had the most amazing woman taking care of him. Then I left and moved him to the daycare I worked at. Yeah.... It was TERRIBLE! He came home in filthy clothes, got sick often, and I found out some less than favorable things that went on in his room. I pulled him (and myself) out with the quickness. I'd NEVER recommend that facility to anyone. Then I put him back where he was while I finished school and worked for the after school care again. Things weren't the same. His teacher was great, but the way things were run (same director) weren't. The quality of care diminished and m son hated going. My FIL told me things were chaotic and the afternoon teacher was never the same and no one could ever tell me how my child got hurt etc. So, I pulled him. Luckily I had just graduated from college and couldn't start teaching yet. This summer we put him in a pre-k program at a completely different daycare and he loved it. I loved the teachers and the directors. They were very open with communication and the system they had going there was constant.

If you feel like this is a route you want to take, I highly recommend interviewing centers. Go at odd times and ask all kinds of questions. Go to several. Same thing with in home day cares. Look up their information on licensing sites and read up on reviews.

Fergiegal · September 2011

frf1537:
There are some daycares out there that are horrible, but there are also some that are really amazing. Group care has its advantages as well as disadvantages, so be sure to do your research and decide what is right for your family. A couple of good resources: Paths to Quality and NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children). They have info on what to look for in a quality center and what to ask. Also centers who have either of these certifications have met certain criteria that go above state regulations, Paths to Quality actually has a star rating system like hotels and restaurants. I worked in an amazing daycare for 6 years and never had issues with my daughter attending there.

Thank for you for sharing! I will definitely check those websites you recommended! Thanks again!

Fergiegal · September 2011

sanriobaby:
Like pp said, there are wonderful and horrible day cares out there. The really good ones are easier to find than you think, good word of mouth is a great indication. Things to look at when choosing a daycare, how long the staff has worked there b/c high turnover is a bad sign, if they provide current and past recommendations from families who use/d thier services, question if and how often they have independant cleaning/sanitation services come in to disinfect the facility, the teacher/student ratio, how do they deal w/sick children and how do they deal w/agressive kids, and thier comfort level of unannouced parent visits b/c some places have no issue where others have specific rules abot this, which is both good and bad. Have you also looked into the idea of having a nanny? Depending on your location and the going rate, having a nanny come and care for your LO can be close in price to daycare. My advice, start looking into it now, do your research and most importantly, no matter where or who you leave your child with, make it a point to drop in unexpectedly, this is the best way to see if the quality of care for your LO is up to your expectations. Trust your gut instinct. Good luck!

I had thought about hiring a nanny, but at the same time, I am not too comfortable with having someone I just know through an interview and recommendation calls, come and stay inside my home alone with my child.

I appreciate you listing the certain things I should look out for when looking for a daycare.

med380 · September 2011

Agree with others - just do your research, visit the places, and ask lots of questions. If you look out on the Internet there are lots of checklists out there. It is overwhelming and can be exhausting but totally worth it to find a place that is a good fit. We really love our daycare and I love the opportunity for my son to be social and participate in group activities. It has been really great for him, and most of the kids at the daycare will end up in the same class at school.

Yes, there will be illnesses that go around daycare, as kids that young don't have strong immune systems so they all pass things back and forth. But really, as soon as your child goes to school it is the same situation.

Mrs.Wifey318 · September 2011

Mom22inFeb:

I absolutely love our day care. Our DD loves it too. They have lesson plans and prepare hot, healthy meals for them everyday (when they are infants you provide your own milk/formula). They give us a copy of the lesson plan and menu each week. If there is something we dont think our little ones will eat on the menu we can just inform the center and provide a replacement meal for that day.

Our daughter has learned so many great things at day care. They learned sign language as young toddlers (simple things like please, more, etc.). They read books and sing songs and do artwork. And they get to socialize with other kids and learn to share at a young age.

With all that said, sure they are at risk for more viruses when they are around that many children all the time. If they dont get colds and ear infections now, they will just get them when they are in kindergarten. My DD has gotten her fair share of cold bugs throughout her time in day care; but nothing serious. Her immune system is nice and strong now because of it

This has been my experience! I love having DD in daycare. They think of projects and lesson plans that I never would have thought of and my DD thrives. They are working with her on her vocabulary and potty training. She loves going to see her buddies at school every day. She has gotten bugs but nothing terible and like others have said it builds thier immune system, this will be good when they start school!

messfam07 · September 2011

My DD has been in Daycare since she was 9 months old. I started back at work when she was 4 months and we had family taking turns with her. The main reason for us putting her in Daycare was for the since of stability, when they are bouncing from family member to family member they aren't on a set routine, She would get really fussy because they wouldn't all feed her at the same times and things like that. We went with an in home Daycare. She has her two little girls there and a few other children, She has background in daycare and preschool. All her recommendations were fantastic, I got to meet some of the kids who say they wish they were little again so that they can go to daycare. My little girl loves it and has friends. She is doing great and she is only 18 months and when they tested her she is where a normal preschooler would be. She is learning so much and if you find a Day Care that is worth it I think that the kids benefit from it. its not cheap but worth it.

asyph107 · September 2011

A couple things, why waiting until April for job hunting? Do you have some job guaranteed opportunities? Job market is crazy, just a thought.

As for daycare we had DS in daycare from 5 months to 20 months, his immune system is fine, he was only sick like twice. He has been taken care of by a nanny since then, because our daycare closed and the only good ones around us had long waitlists. So I would recommend that if there is any chance your LO will need to go to daycare start looking now. Good places tend ot have waitlists for infants because of each state's strict ratio policy. Better to be on a waitlist than find out no one can take your LO for a year. Also it depends on your work schedule and hours, some daycares only accept full time students, others part time. Research is vital in picking daycare, interview and tour a bunch of places, ask about waitlists etc.

Also Kids are going to get sick, and honestly those common illnesses are nothing to worry about, and somewhat important for your child's developing immune system. GL! it can be daunting, the working moms board is very helpful with this sort of stuff.

ablake26 · September 2011

I'm battling with day care woes, myself. I have to go back to work after my ML. so, I'll be sending a 12 week old baby to daycare. Which is hard enough, emotionally, right?! On top of that, the cost is outrageous! But here's what I'm telling myself... babies in daycare get to be around other babies/children their same age and may even advance faster because they'll be exposed to other babies that are walking/talking whatever. So, that's a plus! And, they'll be well socialized which is a good thing too. I feel the same way you do about daycare... not a huge fan! but we do what we have to do to provide the best life for our children

good luck!!

yellowtulips80 · September 2011

My DD is in daycare. It was hard to leave her there at first. Really hard. I cried everyday for months after dropping her off. But it has been so good for her. I'm not that good about keeping a routine at home. She thrives on the structure and gets socialized with other kids. As far as the germs go; she does get sick from time to time. It's part of life. But it also builds up her immune system before she is school aged. Her teachers are all attached to her and it feels like a second home now that we are in the swing of things. It took awhile to get to where we are. But in the end it was worth it. I tried being a SAHM and I just couldn't do it. It's not for everyone.

Katefor4 · September 2011

Your sister-in-law might surprise you. How about having her watch him/her one afternoon a week while you are home/running errands etc. She might be a great resource even part-time when you go back to work. If you are around when she first starts watching him/her you can help her learn what she needs to do to keep him safe. My son is 16 months and he is so much harder to 'watch' now than he was as a baby. He climbs on everything and gets into everything--which all kids too. That will not be easier for her than a baby. Daycare can be great but so can family watching your child--and can save you some money (pending it is safe).

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