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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Siblings- how was your experience?
How has having a sibling changed your life for the better?
How has having a sibling changed your life for the worse?
I am just looking for some insight. I'm debating giving my 15 mo old a brother or sister, and I was an only child so I don't have perspective on this. I kind of always wanted two kids. I had a great upbringing as an only child, but I was always curious as to what it would've been like to have a sibling.
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Re: Siblings- how was your experience?
My sister and I are a year and 10 days apart and we were always very close growing up - we were practically twins. I had a unique situation because my Dad was military so we moved every 2-3 years. I think that's part of the reason my sister and I were so close - if we didn't have each other as friends, often times, we wouldn't have any friends
We are still close as adults even though we don't see each other very often because we live in different states but it's nice to share "growing up" experiences with someone else too.
I have 3 sisters and am very close with all of them. I actually work with my older sister which is nice = ) We try to meet for lunch once a week (all 4 of us) and my older sister and I take our lunch hour at the same time so get to spend lunch together during the week. We also have bbq's and get togethers all the time and we try to take a sisters weekend shopping getaway twice a year which is nice.
Having experienced having siblings, there would be no way that I would only have 1 child. Siblings are very important IMO. I could not imagine life without my sisters.
My kids are 16 months apart and even at their young ages you can see the love for each other. The first thing my DD says when she wakes up is her brother's name, she runs to him when he is crying, and gives him her favorite toys to play with. He already lunges himself towards her to give her open-mouth kisses, she makes him laugh, and wants to do/have everything she has.
When one takes a long nap not at the same time as the other (DS catnaps except when DD is sleeping he will take a longer nap) you can see the boredom of not having a sibling. They are left with just me and I guess I am boring....
I will admit.... two kids is very very difficult on me! These first 6 months have been some of the most challenging in my life. having another kid is 2x more work...it is 15x more work and you never sit down or get any housework done (maybe it is the small age gap).
I have two siblings with a large age gap and we are close NOW but when I was a kid I was always left out (5 years and 8 years difference). By the time I was in Jr. high my siblings were in college and I was like an only child.
Well, I grew up with 2 sisters and 1 brother and will do everything in my power to make sure that LO has at least one sibling. That's how important it is for me.
I loved it, I still do. I love that I have nieces and a sister in law, I love that I always had somebody taking care of me and to care for at school, somebody to play with, to share toys and clothes and to chat with.
Of course, there was a lot of fighting and bickering as well, but there was always more good than bad.
I have an older brother and a younger sister. My brother loved to pick on us when we were growing up, and he was way too protective of me in high school (he wanted to control my social/dating life). Regardless, I love him, and, as an adult, I understand that it all came out of a place of love. My sister and I have always been close. She is one of my best friends, and I can talk to her about anything.
I can't really say how my brother or sister made life better or worse, because I can't imagine my life without either of them in it. Our dad passed away 13 years ago - I was 22. I don't know how I would have made it through that time without the two of them to lean on. Now, we share stories and memories of Dad with each other all the time. There is no one else I could do that with.
I can't imagine having only one child, because my siblings mean the world to me.
I don't have any full blood siblings. I have 3 step sisters and 1 half sister. I only ever lived for a period of time with my half sister. She is 8 years younger then me so we never had a real connection. My two older step sisters I haven't heard from in 7 years. My younger step sister and I were kind of friends in high school but I was a geek and she was a kicker so we never hung out.
Now my younger step sister and I are starting to hang out more but I think it's because we both have babies that are just a month apart and they like to play with each other.
There are no guarantees that siblings will be best friends when they're older. I have a brother and a sister. My sister and I are really close. My brother and I rarely talk. I have friends who are estranged from their siblings too.
Having said all that, I would have changed having siblings growing up and I felt strongly about ds having a sibling.
You learn things from siblings that you can't learn from parents. You learn the art of negotiating (want to trade your train for my stuffed animal?), how to stand your ground (that's my toy not yours), how not to be bullied, how to be loving - in a very different way than you get from parents or friends.
My friends who are only children are wonderful people but like you said, they have a different perspective on things. They grew up like an adult because they were always with adults. They seem older than their age - even when they were younger.
Being an older sibling or baby of the family definitely molds you into who you are. My son is so protective of my daughter. If she puts anything near her mouth that could be harmful, he grabs it. He feels it is his job to make sure she is safe. My daughter looks at him like he walks on water. No one can make her laugh the way he does.
I may get no sleep, be totally broke and have no "me" time anymore, but I wouldn't change having 2 instead of 1 for anything in the world.
IUI- BFN IVF #1 -BFP! Allie is our 2nd IVF baby. Born at 36 1/2 weeks after pre-e again
I have a sister who is 17 months younger than I.
We sorta kinda got along as kids. Pretty much hated each other as teenagers. As adults we have an okay relationship. We're not BFFs but we hang out. We're two very opposite people.
DH has so-so relationships with his sisters. (Though there's a lot more to that story.)
Anyway, we're not basing our decision on whether or not to have another child on our sibling experiences, but whether or not we feel we can emotionally and financially support additional children.
DD2 8.22.13
MMC 1.4.17 at 16w
Expecting #3, EDD 1.29.18
My brother and I feel the same way about these two things. We joke that we are the only two people who really know how crazy our mother is and we're the only two people who know the good and bad of growing up with he. We are the only two people in the world who shudder when any song from Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA album are played. It was our mother's go to record when she was pissed and she's blast it through the house. It's kind of funny but those memories are things you like to know someone else has
Thanks so much for sharing! I realize that every situation is different. I like it when people refer to their sibling as a built in best friend:) It's hard to imagine sharing your parents or having that bond when you've never had it. You don't miss it either, so it feels foreign when people say they feel bad that you were an only child etc.
As one PP said, our finances may end up being a reason why we have only one child, but I'd like one more. My DH had 4 brothers and sisters and none of them really got along, but he is still into the idea of giving DS a sibling.
I saw these two little boys walking the school the other day and the little one looked nervous (1st say of school) and the big brother put his arm around the little one whil they are walking and I got all emotional. Kind of irrelevant? haha
I have 5 siblings and I would not be the person I am today without them. . They were the bane of my existence growing up, but there was security in knowing that they had my back no matter what. They pushed me to be the best person I could be accidemically, athletically, socially, and spiritually. They never hesitate to call me on BS, but I know they love me unconditionally. I could show up on any of their doorsteps bag in hand and move in.
In college it was awesome knowing that if I was homesick I could go to my brother's and hang out or go to his parties and be stupid and he was there looking out for me.
After college when everyone started getting married we all became really good friends and had some really great trips together.
When everyone started having children, it was AWESOME to see the relationships grow and the excitement of holding a new niece or nephew and watching your sibling become a parent.
My oldest brother battled cancer for almost 2 years until he passed last year. I could not have been more proud of the way my brothers and sisters banded together. I don't think I could have made it through that without them.
I'm so sorry for your loss, J. I can't imagine...
I have a full, younger sister and two, half, older brothers. Sister is 5 years younger and I wish we would have been closer in age (fought like cats and dogs growing up) but now we get along well and are always there for each other.
My older brothers are 13 and 11 years older than me and from my Dad's first marriage. I did not know them well growing up because his Ex had full custody, they did not want to see him, and they lived 2.5hrs away. (He's not an ideal Dad.)
My eldest brother and I have made a big effort to get to know one another as adults and DH and I even lived with him and his wife for a few months when we moved to the area. We have a great relationship and I love my nephews beyond belief. It's awesome to have a big family to rely on in tough times and to celebrate with all of the time.
I wouldn't change having my two sisters and brother for the world. My siblings are 10, 9 and 6 years older than me. My oldest sister, I called Mommy Amy. She was like a second mom from the day I was born. I was always the annoying little sis to my brother and his friends. My other sister who is 6 years old was upset when we were little that she wasn't the youngest anymore, and she couldn't be bothered. All of this as children, with that perspective.
As adults, my sisters, brother and their SOs are my closest friends. My brother is Mr. Fix it. Problem with my house, DH calls my brother. He's Mr. dependable and Mr. BBQ. My sisters are my best friends. We go out for drinks, our kids play together and they are the best babysitters. DS loves his aunts.
My mom said the best thing she ever did was give us siblings, because some day when she and my dad are gone, we will always have eachother. :: Hormonal pregnancy tears coming now::
I have two siblings who happen to be twins! Let me say, they both provide me with completely different sibling experiences.
My one sibling is my absolute best friend and we have been close for as long as I can remember. We hang out constantly, she was my maid of honor, my son's godmother, and honestly, I cannot imagine my life without her. I can tell her anything and we have so much fun acting stupid together. It is unlike any other friendship I have or have ever had because we are completely comfortable with eachother. We are the type of friends that don't even really ever get mad at eachother because it just isn't worth the trouble of not speaking for those few minutes!
My other sibling, well that is another story. She has always been what I would call a "problem child" causing a l ot of grief for my family and all of individually. She kind of does whatever she wants whenever she wants to and thinks of the consequences her actions have. This could be one reason my other sister and I bonded together so closely at such a young age.
That being said, it I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, because one came along with the other. I love having just my son right now and can sometimes picture us just having him, but then I know that I want him to hopefully have the sibling experience that I have with my one sister.
Your family sounds like mine!
I have no full blood siblings but I do have a half sister on my mom's side and a step sister on my mom's side. On my dad's side I have one half sister, one half brother and one adopted brother!! Yeah, my family is a little "unique" or just straight up F*cked up....but I wouldnt trade it for the world!
I refer to all of them as my SISTER and/or BROTHER. I only used step/half/adopted for this post.
I am super close with my sisters on my moms side. My dads kids are a lot younger than I am so not as close but still talk on a regular basis.
I see this same thing. Dylan will typically wake earlier than her sisters and she yells their name when they wake up, chases them down and hugs them. She is also yelling Alex's name when we go pick her up from school. Alex & Taylor are very close. Taylor was very lost last year when Alex went to school and I suppose that Dylan will be next year as well. It appears that Taylor and Dylan are really growing closer being together all the time. Dylan and Alex had a natural bond from the start.
I know you asked about our siblings. But we always wanted at least 2 kids, so it was never a question.
I will say... my 2 brothers and sister are some of my best friends in life. We didn't always get along as children. I got along best with my sister who is 6 years older than me. And to this day, my sister is one of my closest friends. I confide in her for just about everything. I honestly can't think of how having siblings has affected my life for the worse. The best part about having siblings is that now that we're older, we're all starting to have kids. And it's so much fun to see my nieces and nephews run around with my DD. I love large families. My mom is the oldest of 8 and I always loved having so many aunts and uncles.
I say go for it!
My brother is 18 months older than I am, and we have never been close- I do remember a couple of Christmas mornings when he gave me the time of day, but thats about it. I always remember having to play by myself...I am still trying to figure out what I did to him!!! It upsets me still to this day that my brother isn't close with my parents and I, and his neice he has only seen maybe 3 times...Its a big part of our debating if we shoud have another baby- And also I just lover her so much I can't imagine there's any left for anyone else!!!
My younger and sister and I did not get along at all from the time of her birth until she was about 13. We got along better as teenagers, but still aren't super close. I mean, we don't fight or anything. We just don't talk a lot. I'm still glad I have her.
I've watched my parents as they've had to care for their aging parents in recent years. My mother is 1 of 3 girls, and my dad is an only child. It has been a much bigger emotional burden on my dad than my mom. That's another thing to consider in how many children you have.
I have 2 sisters that I am close with. I am especially close with my sister that is 22 monnths younger than me. My other sister is 6 years younger so there are some age gap annoyances. I also have 2 step brothers and a half brother. I really enjoy having siblings and knew I wanted DD to have one. DH has 2 younger brothers that we hang out with all the time.
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