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Eco-Friendly Family
nonoemily
member
Any vegetarian/non-veggie mixed households? Please advise....
nonoemily
member
Sorry this is so long....
I've been vegetarian for 20 years and my man, bless his little heart, is a meat eating, elk hunting, former commercial fisherman. I've never been one to judge people too much about their own choices, I just know what I want for ME and I don't eat animals... Everyone else can do whatever they want.
That being said, I would love for my kid/s to be vegetarian. I feel like in the long term, I'll be more successful at instilling my own values if I lead by example and let my kids make their own choices, even if it means they end up eating like their dad for a while. (Or maybe forever...
) As it stands now, I do 90% of the cooking and my guy is totally okay with eating meat only at restaurants, or when he buys it and prepares it himself. (This never happens...) He eats meat a few times a month. We've discussed the possibility of allowing our children to eat fish once they reach a certain age, and introducing it to them by having dad take them fishing, so they can see the whole process of catching, killing, preparing, and eating the fish. Also, my guy is Native American, so he has access to tribal fishing grounds and learning how to fish from your elders is an important part of their heritage.
The part that becomes tricky for me is when we talk about processed foods and other, larger animals. I don't really see any value coming from eating hot dogs or pepperoni pizza or lunch meat. I've been a vegetarian since the day I figured out leg of lamb was, you know, the LEG of a LAMB. Maybe I'm biased, but I think that stuff is garbage and I don't want my kids to eat it. My guy's response is, "Well, would you let them roast marshmallows when we go camping? Can't they have cake on their birthdays? Why not let them eat hot dogs and a big mac once in a while?"
Do your kids eat meat, even if you don't? Do you address the issue of where meat comes from with your children? Do you have conflicts with your partner about what your children should or should not eat for health or moral reasons? Any advice/suggestions/tales of compromise would be appreciated. Thanks!
Elkanah Brave, born 02/06/2012 7:26am
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Any vegetarian/non-veggie mixed households? Please advise....
I am a vegetarian, DH is not. He also only eats meat when we go out or if he cooks it himself. He actually really likes vegetarian meals. DD is also a vegetarian and he is okay with that. We both agree that we want her to learn to make healthy choices. Things like big macs and hotdogs are not healthy, so neither of us have any desire to give them to her. We agree that if we were to let her have meat, it would only be high quality meat from somewhere like Whole Foods. That stuff is expensive and DH doesn't like to spend money, so that makes that easy. Really though, we've both agreed to wait until DD is old enough to understand what meat is and make the decision for herself. If she decides when she's older that she wants to eat meat, then I will have to be okay with it - I just won't be the one to cook it for her! She has actually eaten a bite of fish and I'd be okay if she wanted to eat more of it when she gets older.
DD is still really young, so she doesn't really even know that meat is a option. She never shows any interest in it when DH has it. I look forward to seeing any other responses, b/c I'm curious about tips on talking to DD about it as she gets older.
I grew up on a farm, so I've always known where meat comes from and the importance of respecting your animals. My MIL is vegetarian (30+ years) and the rest of her family and kids were not. If they go out, they can order a meat dish, but she does not cook meat at home. She didn't "make" her kids be vegetarian, she wanted them to make that choice on their own if they so choose. Neither of her kids or husband are vegetarians now, though my hubby is a fantastic eater who is perfectly happy with meat every few days as a side dish instead of the center of each meal.
I like the idea of Daddy teaching her about fishing when she gets older, but I do think it's less of a big deal (and more likely to be accepted by her) if you give her a little occasional meat or fish (perhaps some of Daddy's elk or fish, so you know it's been handled humanely) all along instead of springing it on her when she's 10.
Good luck, I hope you're able to sort out a happy arrangement!
It was definitely discussed when DH and I became pregnant. At the time DH was a huge meat eater and I've been a veg for almost 17 years. We decided to raise DS as a veg (he could eat fish every once in awhile). About 6 months after DS was born, DH decided to go veg too so it hasn't been too much of an "issue" since the change.
I think the fish is a great compromise for both of you! I don't eat fish but when DH decided to "convert" he said he would eat fish since we had originally decided DS would do the same. I can understand being biased (or feeling that way), I feel that way sometimes too, but everything with a grain of salt is how I look at it. We don't all eat toasted marshmallows and birthday cake everyday! (although that sounds pretty tempting!)
It (avoiding processed foods, etc.) is certainly a shift in thinking and it takes a bit more preparation. I realized that if I didn't want my kid to "have marshmallows when we went camping or cake at a birthday" then I needed to make my own, bring an alternative, etc.
As for being veg, I'll admit that I had to go back to eating meat recently, but we might have it twice a week. When I was completely veg, my son ate like me, and if my husband wanted meat, he made it himself. I wouldn't prepare it. I fully intended on raising my son vegetarian, but I'm not sure it's the right decision. I started eating meat again because I needed the nutritional value in (organic, ethically-raised) animal protein. When my son is older, I'm almost positive I will be a veg again and he will be presented with my reasons why. He can then decide for himself.
For your hubby, I don't know. Just keep presenting him with info and make him aware that it's an important issue for you.
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I am a vegetarian (and I was vegan until becoming pregnant; now I eat eggs 1-2 times/week) but my husband definitely isn't. He's very supportive of raising our (still gestating) kid vegetarian, luckily, although taking our kid fishing someday is a really big deal to him. My plan is to cross that bridge when we come to it--I don't even know if our kid will want to fish, and of course we aren't going to force the issue if a desire not to fish is expressed.
Right now we are trying to agree on what age is best for saying yes if LO asks for a bite of what Papa is eating. MH thinks 2, but I think 5 or 6 is better since some 2 year olds want to taste EVERYTHING including dirt, batteries, car keys, etc. Either way, I know he's going to support me on our kid at the very least having a diet that is not totally meat-centered, even if we end up with a kid who does want to eat meat.
My family sure isn't supportive, though. I know that someday, somebody is going to pressure my kid to take a bite of a bologna sandwich or say that s/he has to eat a chicken nugget to "be normal," and s/he might even like it. I figure that the best I can do is control what my LO eats at home and hope that if s/he does ask for meat at home someday, it will be at an age when it's an informed decision and we can at least compromise with a free range turkey breast once in a while instead of the typical big macs, three cheese chili nachos, fried chicken, etc.
On a side note, my mom is a big food snob and we never had processed food in the house as a kid. She always thought it was important to expose us to different types of cuisine and took me to nice restaurants when I was really little. One day, after spending the night at a friend's house, we went to a fancy French restaurant, and when the waiter came around I said I wanted a bologna sandwich. My mom's eyes got really big and she hissed, "How do you know about bologna?!" Apparently, that's what my friend's mom gave us for dinner. Ha ha! I was four years old.
So, I know I can't control everything and I know at some point they are going to eat chicken nuggets or whatever. I know a lot of kids who were raised vegetarian or vegan end up breaking from it for a while, but I'm hoping if I lay a solid foundation by exposing them to lots of delicious vegetarian things when they are young, they'll at least appreciate it when they are older, and hopefully share some of my values even if they don't express those values in the same way.
Another side note: My dad took me fishing when I was about three years old. I had fun until I actually caught a fish. It was a really small fish, and I cried and cried, "I'm sorry, baby fish! I didn't mean to catch you! I'm sorry!" So, yeah, your child may not have any interest in fishing at all. I know I didn't! Plus, fishing involves being patient and quite, which is not a set of qualities many children want to develop until they are older. Just sayin'.
I'm a vegetarian and DH isn't. The compromise we came to is that, since I do most of the cooking, most of our meals will be vegetarian, but that I will cook meat for him about once or twice per week. Generally the meals that contain meat are a vegetarian meal with meat prepared separately and added to his plate. It's a bit of extra work, but not a big deal.
Now that we're trying to conceive our first child, we've been talking about how to handle the meat issue once our child is born. The agreement that we came to is that our child will not eat meat until they are old enough to make the choice whether or not to eat it for themselves.
I'm not sure yet how we'll address the "where does meat come from?" question yet. I'm sure it will have to be a gradual discussion and introduction, so as not to be too traumatic. I like your fishing idea, though. That seems like it would be both a healthy, non traumatic way to introduce where meat comes from, as well as giving an understanding and respect for the animals that provide the meat.