Here's another one: He gets butthurt when I go grocery shopping and bring home a soda for myself, but not one for him. After he told me he didn't want to drink soda anymore and not to buy him any.
I get yelled at for buying candy because it makes him fat, but he gets butthurt if I eat it all and leave none for him. Sigh.
Change candy to cookies or pie and I'm right there with you.
First Sookie talks about baked potatoes with cheese and now you are talking about pie?! You guys are killing me today!!
Your pregnancy. I live vicariously through it.
I'm wondering just how many times I can get away with calling DH and saying "Can you pick up XYZ on the way home...the girls on TB were talking about it and now I want it"
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1. he leaves the radio on. (instead of watching t.v all night he sits and listens to a.m. radio like hes 80, and then leaves it on.)
2. he leaves paper hand towels laying around the house. he is constantly using or holding on to a paper hand towel and then he will leave it around the house all crinkled up and used.
Sawyer Quinn (09/06/06), Rory Keaton (04/07/08) and Kinsley Saffron (10/12/10). Forever and ever my babies they'll be. A rose can say "I love you",orchids can enthrall,but a weed bouquet in a chubby fist,yes, that says it all.~Author Unknown
DH moves the soap dispenser in our bathroom so it's resting half up on the sink and half on the counter. I asked him to do this for 7 DAYS when we first moved in because all I had was a dark soap that was staining the countertop.
We've lived here for 6 months and he still does it everyday.
However, I ask him to please put his cup in the dishwasher before he goes to work for the past 6 months and it completely escapes him.
DH will NOT throw out any article of clothing, no matter how freakin' torn it is. I mean, snagged his underpants on the corner of our dresser and they somehow ripped all the way to his crack and he STILL won't throw them out because (ahem) "the waistband is still stretchy." I, however, "lose" holey articles of his clothing to the lint trap fairies.
My DH evidentally is not able to physically turn around and throw his cheese wrapper into the trash after making a sandwich. He just leaves the plastic wrapper on the counter. I guess it is just too hard to turn 90 degrees and throw it into the trash.
he'll undress DS anywhere and leaves his clothes laying around everywhere, like shoes and socks by the door, pants on the dinning table, shirt on the sofa...
I mean, how hard it is to change him in the nursery or at least to pick up the clothes and take those to LO's room?
DH NEVER puts the new roll of toilet paper on the holder. He will actually set the new roll on top of the old roll on the holder, but can never be troubled to actually put it on the roll.
He is also the worlds slowest washer of dishes. He insists that every last sud be rinsed off of every item. Therefore, he never finishes all of the dishes.
Oooh, and the best he leaves his nasty hats everywhere, no, they do not belong on the kitchen table, put them away.
Leaving seconds on the microwave. I don't know why he insists on taking something out a second before the microwave beeps, but he does. And the microwave is constantly flashing seconds.
He works night shift, as soon as he gets home in the morning, he must shut the door and strip completely naked. I always find piles of clothes greeting me in the morning, and I wait for him to wake up (because he always insists he doesnt do this) and he will ask me "Why are my clothes on the floor? Are they clean...I think might have worn those last night"
His socks NEVER MATCH. It doesn't matter if I take the time to match them up, he likes to have loose socks in his drawer. He went to the store last week, he had on one black ankle sock, and a white one that went to his calf WTF. He was wearing shorts too, there was no hiding that.
He leaves little messes all over the house for days at a time (if I'm rebelling and refuse to play "maid") but the moment I start a craft project he spazzes out about how "disgusting" the whole house is and insists that I drop everything and start helping him clean.
The Nest/Bump sucks and won't let me change my location. I'm in Arkansas, not Florida.
He says "what?" when I ask a question all the time, like before I even finish and I KNOW he hears me. It just hasn't registered yet because he isn't, you know, LISTENING.
If I ignore the "what?" and count to three, it sinks in and he answers the question. If you heard me, why did you ask me what I said?
He has no concept of space or time. He will tell me something is "two blocks away" and it will actually be two miles away. He will tell me he'll be ready in 15 minutes and he actually takes 45 minutes to an hour.
And reading this thread solidifies that I'm actually a guy with a vagina. I do most of the things everyone else is complaining about.
But I'm not a dude. I swear.
This exactly. I am always standing by the door ready to go while DH takes forever to get ready. He also completely underestimates how long it takes to get anywhere leading my friends to joke that I am the guy in this relationship.
My DH cannot look for stuff. For example, just now I asked him get Joy's shoes so I can put them on her. He sees one shoe on the floor and, while still sitting down, says he doesn't know where the other one is. I'm thinking she hid it so I start looking in her normal hiding spots. After a few minutes I go back and see the "lost" shoe about five feet from the "found" shoe. I don't know why I act surprised, he's never been able to find stuff in plain sight.
Your turn!
Are we with the same man? SO will turn the shower on and ask where the towels are. "In the cupboard where we've kept the towels since we've moved in?" "Thank you!"
He also asks where his wallet is (when he's the one who sets it down, obviously), where the diaper bag is (which is left in the same spot every day)...The list goes on. *sigh
He says "what?" when I ask a question all the time, like before I even finish and I KNOW he hears me. It just hasn't registered yet because he isn't, you know, LISTENING.
If I ignore the "what?" and count to three, it sinks in and he answers the question. If you heard me, why did you ask me what I said?
THIS! However, we joked long enough that I think he's going deaf so he went to an ear/nose/throat doc for a hearing test and learned that he has mild/moderate hearing loss! The most interesting fact was that women's tones are the hardest for him to hear... very interesting...
DH likes to think that he's helping with the laundry so he'll wash and dry the clothes. Do they get put away? NO! They sit in the dryer all week until it happens again. They end up being dried every morning to get the wrinkles out. I always have to make sure that he washes the good stuff, otherwise I never end up with both pants and shirts in the same week.
Another one is that he acts like an A$$ when he's on the phone.
Me: "DH, can you please move your laptop off of the kitchen counter so that I can make dinner?"
DH to phone friend: " OMG! She's always bugging me about stuff! I wish she'd just leave me alone!!! She's such a NAG!"
DH after he hangs up: "Sweetie, what was it you wanted?"
I take C out of the house for an hour and a half to give DH some alone relaxing time playing video games, and since I take care of C in the mornings and put him down the last three nights, I ask him to take care of C's last bottle and put him down. His response, "I really would rather you do it" because I am going to argue with him on the phone from the store. Asss.
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
Re: For shits&giggles: What's one little thing that SO does that bothers you?
1. he leaves the radio on. (instead of watching t.v all night he sits and listens to a.m. radio like hes 80, and then leaves it on.)
2. he leaves paper hand towels laying around the house. he is constantly using or holding on to a paper hand towel and then he will leave it around the house all crinkled up and used.
DH moves the soap dispenser in our bathroom so it's resting half up on the sink and half on the counter. I asked him to do this for 7 DAYS when we first moved in because all I had was a dark soap that was staining the countertop.
We've lived here for 6 months and he still does it everyday.
However, I ask him to please put his cup in the dishwasher before he goes to work for the past 6 months and it completely escapes him.
Yes. My husband is 100% Phil and I am Claire. H even admits it.
DH will NOT throw out any article of clothing, no matter how freakin' torn it is. I mean, snagged his underpants on the corner of our dresser and they somehow ripped all the way to his crack and he STILL won't throw them out because (ahem) "the waistband is still stretchy." I, however, "lose" holey articles of his clothing to the lint trap fairies.
he'll undress DS anywhere and leaves his clothes laying around everywhere, like shoes and socks by the door, pants on the dinning table, shirt on the sofa...
I mean, how hard it is to change him in the nursery or at least to pick up the clothes and take those to LO's room?
DH NEVER puts the new roll of toilet paper on the holder. He will actually set the new roll on top of the old roll on the holder, but can never be troubled to actually put it on the roll.
He is also the worlds slowest washer of dishes. He insists that every last sud be rinsed off of every item. Therefore, he never finishes all of the dishes.
Oooh, and the best he leaves his nasty hats everywhere, no, they do not belong on the kitchen table, put them away.
Leaving seconds on the microwave. I don't know why he insists on taking something out a second before the microwave beeps, but he does. And the microwave is constantly flashing seconds.
He works night shift, as soon as he gets home in the morning, he must shut the door and strip completely naked. I always find piles of clothes greeting me in the morning, and I wait for him to wake up (because he always insists he doesnt do this) and he will ask me "Why are my clothes on the floor? Are they clean...I think might have worn those last night"
His socks NEVER MATCH. It doesn't matter if I take the time to match them up, he likes to have loose socks in his drawer. He went to the store last week, he had on one black ankle sock, and a white one that went to his calf WTF. He was wearing shorts too, there was no hiding that.
The Nest/Bump sucks and won't let me change my location. I'm in Arkansas, not Florida.
This x1,000,000
This exactly. I am always standing by the door ready to go while DH takes forever to get ready. He also completely underestimates how long it takes to get anywhere leading my friends to joke that I am the guy in this relationship.
Are we with the same man? SO will turn the shower on and ask where the towels are. "In the cupboard where we've kept the towels since we've moved in?" "Thank you!"
He also asks where his wallet is (when he's the one who sets it down, obviously), where the diaper bag is (which is left in the same spot every day)...The list goes on. *sigh
THIS! However, we joked long enough that I think he's going deaf so he went to an ear/nose/throat doc for a hearing test and learned that he has mild/moderate hearing loss! The most interesting fact was that women's tones are the hardest for him to hear... very interesting...
DH likes to think that he's helping with the laundry so he'll wash and dry the clothes. Do they get put away? NO! They sit in the dryer all week until it happens again. They end up being dried every morning to get the wrinkles out. I always have to make sure that he washes the good stuff, otherwise I never end up with both pants and shirts in the same week.
Another one is that he acts like an A$$ when he's on the phone.
Me: "DH, can you please move your laptop off of the kitchen counter so that I can make dinner?"
DH to phone friend: " OMG! She's always bugging me about stuff! I wish she'd just leave me alone!!! She's such a NAG!"
DH after he hangs up: "Sweetie, what was it you wanted?"
Me: "Don't talk to me..." LOL
Our first family photo!
He never throws shyt away - he leaves his wrappers on the coffee table, beer cans lined up on the counter, empty envelopes on the kitchen table
Drives me freaking batty!
"We like nothing better than buffing our Zygoma. And imagining a horny time traveling long overcoat purple scarf wearing super sleuth nordic legend fuck fantasy. Get to work on that, internet." Benedict Cumberbatch
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