Baby Shower RSVP Etiquette

katconlin · September 2011

Hello all!

My shower is 9/25 and on the invites we requested that people rsvp by 9/18. It is a large shower, and we would really like to know how many people are coming so we can prepare the right amount of food, favors etc., but so far, very few people have RSVPed. After 9/18 should I be calling them to ask them if they are coming?

If not, should I just assume they are not?

littlewinnie15 · September 2011

I know I'm a last minute RSVPer, so you'll probably get a mad rush of RSVPs this week. But, I think it's okay for you to call and ask... either that, or just make enough food to cover if some of the unknowns end up showing up. I would definitely not just assume they are not coming... you never know with some people, they just don't get that RSVPs are important.

jjmac · September 2011

The host of mine called people who she hadn't heard from two days after the RSVP date had passed. I've come to realize our generation just lacks etiquette skills and will just show up thinking it's ok. I also had a few people tell her yes that ended up not coming for one reason or another.

Vieve831 · September 2011

My RSVP deadline was yesterday. My mom was getting anxious for the same reasons you listed and I kept telling her not to worry - a lot of people RSVP last minute. In the end only 2 people did not RSVP (plus a few more who live across the country and I feel like its assumed they will not attend). The two who did not respond are friends of mine so I am asking another friend to see if they are coming (I don't want them to feel awkward responding to me asking).

TomsShugShug · September 2011

my step-mom gave me a baby shower last month back home (which is out of state), and i don't know if she put an RSVP date on the invitations, but about a week before hand she kept asking me if so-and-so had said whether they were coming or not, so I took the liberty of calling/texting/facebooking some of the people to see if they were coming.

tonychelle · September 2011

I had mine today, and we had a lot of people RSVP at first, then taper off and then a few more people RSVP right before/after the RSVP date. Still, we had a few people tell us after that they were coming, but then a few people canceled too. My mom/host had me call/text a couple of my friends who hadn't RSVPed, and she checked on a couple of people too, but some others we didn't really bother to check and just tried to plan as best as we could.

Most people who showed up today had RSVPed at one point or another, and a couple of people ended up not showing up/canceling at the last minute.

Still, like another poster said, I would plan for more just in case some extra people show up.

klreese0213 · September 2011

TomsShugShug:
my step-mom gave me a baby shower last month back home (which is out of state), and i don't know if she put an RSVP date on the invitations, but about a week before hand she kept asking me if so-and-so had said whether they were coming or not, so I took the liberty of calling/texting/facebooking some of the people to see if they were coming.

i was going to suggest this. seeing how IF they were to say no, it's easier to say no via text/email. i know personally i feel bad telling someone to "their face" i cannot attend their special event. so i find emailing/texting is a more neutral alternative.

authorofdreamz · September 2011

My shower is on 9/17 and we put on the inivations to RSVP by 9/12 however we were trying to get a lot of stuff done this weekend but so many people hadn't RSVP'd yet that I did ask some people and they were all planning on coming and just hadn't gotten around to RSVPing yet. I don't think it's rude because it makes it easier on people since a lot of people forget to RSVP.

HPickle23 · September 2011

I know it may be a little too late for this type of advice. But for future reference, I have found that stating RSVP regrets only on the invites eases the worry of who is coming and who is not. Since most people see that and then don't have to think about doing anything if they have decided they will go and those that can't make a better point of letting you know. I would wait a few days after your RSVP date and then confirm with those that didn't reply back. I don't think it's rude to contact people who haven't answered.