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Inviting friends from out of town etiquette ?

MrsMitty08MrsMitty08
in Baby Showers

I have a lot of friends living in all different places.  I do not expect them to travel for my baby shower.  (There are a couple within 2 hours of the location that would probably come but not the ones who are out of state/country).

What is the etiquette for inviting friends who you KNOW will not be able to attend?  I feel like if I give those names to my Mom (host) that we are just asking for a gift.  I don't want them to be left out, though.  I also know that some of them would send me a gift regardless if they were invited or not.  

TIA!

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Re: Inviting friends from out of town etiquette ?

  • Brosamle2Brosamle2
    I lived in a different state for 3 years and have quite a few friends from there. I had two showers (one Aug 20th & one next weekend), and I invited them to both. I sent them all a message on FB asking for updated addresses, and I said that I know they might not be able to make it to either because of the drive, but I wanted to invite them anyways. I let them know that I was inviting them to both incase there was one location or date that would work better for them. (I did one in my hometown and one where I live now). I think its better to invite than not to, and I don't expect gifts from all of them by any means.
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  • scarlettoctoberscarlettoctober member

    I did not invite my out-of-town friends.  I did invite a few cousins that live way out-of-town, but only because their local sisters were invited and didn't want to start any feuds.

    Married 08.19.06 ~ DS 9.30.11 ~ Baby #2 EDD 11.28.18

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  • weddingbells2010weddingbells2010 member
    Typically you only invite the people closest to you (in life, not in proximity or distance)- family, close friends, etc... So if they are your BFFs you've known since birth and talk to everyday, I'd send them one out of courtesy.  Anyone that close will know it's just a "wish you were here" statement and not a gift grab.  If you hardly see/talk to them, it's not necessary to send it.
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  • minteamintea member
    Yeah- I had a close friend whose shower was out of state and I was offended not to be invited. I am sure she figured I couldn't come, but I'd still have like to be invited.

    DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018

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  • NewFamily09NewFamily09 member
    I wouldn't invite them.  All it will do is cause them to feel guilty.  I think they will understand.  My BFF's all live in other states and I didn't invite them because I knew they wouldn't be able to or couldn't afford to make the trip.  They have also never invited me to their baby showers.  It's kind of understood that it wouldn't make sense to invite each other.  We've always just mailed gifts to each other.
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  • MrsMitty08MrsMitty08

    imageweddingbells2010:
    Typically you only invite the people closest to you (in life, not in proximity or distance)- family, close friends, etc... So if they are your BFFs you've known since birth and talk to everyday, I'd send them one out of courtesy.  Anyone that close will know it's just a "wish you were here" statement and not a gift grab.  If you hardly see/talk to them, it's not necessary to send it.

    It is a small group and they are my closest friends....I think I'll invite them as a courtesy (I felt left out when their Mom's threw showers and didn't invite our 'group').  

    Thanks everyone!

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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member
    I would definitely invite them if there are close friends.  I invited many friends and relatives from out of state and surprisingly many of them came.  Those that didn't come sent gifts with the ones who made the trip.
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  • courtneyklvcourtneyklv
    My mother asked me to send invites to family that are 2000 miles away, along with her, that I know that can't make it.  So I will.
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  • luckylindyluckylindy member
    All of my close friends and family live about 2000 miles away from us. I decided to invite them even though I know most if not all will not be able to make it. My theory was if distance was not a factor in the equation, who would I want to be there? I sent out invitations based on that answer.

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  • cschissellcschissell member
    I didn't invite anyone not in the immediate area, except for my MIL and that was because there is a possibility that she would actually come for it and I know she would want to be involved.


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