Problems with DC - WWYD - LONG

TessieF · September 2011

I live in a major city and finding an affordable daycare is tough. We were on a wait list for 8 months to get into our first choice and we just started today.

Last Monday I had appt to meet with the director at 10am to fill out paperwork and do a sort of orientation. I wake the baby up from her nap, pack her up in the stroller and walk to the daycare (it's about a mile away -- it was a nice day). We get there and the director's office is dark. I explain to one of the teachers that I had an appointment and she tells me the director is out for the day due to a family emergency (her husband was in the hospital). I explain to the teacher that I was supposed to fill out paperwork and get an orientation. The teacher looks in my file, gives me the paperwork and gives me a tour of the infant room (which I already had) and tells me what to bring for DD's first day. It's kind of awkward because the teacher doesn't work in the infant room and the infant room teachers are out on a walk so she keeps saying things like "I hope I'm not forgetting anything, I don't normally work with the infants." The teacher says she will let the director know I stopped by and to call me when she's back in the office. I understand emergencies happen, but it would have been nice to have received a phone call.

The week goes by. No phone call. No email. No apology for missing the appointment. Whatever.

This week -- I email the director on Tuesday with DD's immunization form and ask her to confirm she doesn't need anything else. No return email. On Wednesday I call the director and leave a voicemail just checking in to see if there is anything else she needs before DD starts tomorrow. No phone call back.

This morning -- I bring DD in for her first day. Director's office is dark. One of the toddler teachers tells me she's on vacation. I knock on the infant room door and although they are friendly, they definitely aren't expecting me. As I am going over the number of bottles I have brought for DD the teacher tells me they can only take her for 2 hours today (and four tomorrow) because their policy is to transition the babies slowly into daycare. This is fine BUT - shouldn't someone have mentioned this to me before I show with baby in tow for her first day?? I had plans today that I had to cancel. I also had to walk a mile back with the stroller in the pouring rain because I share a car with DH and he needed it for work today (he was planning on picking DD up on the way home).

I am so angry with the director right now. I feel like I should say something to her, but I also don't want to blow up at her and start the beginning of daycare on the wrong foot. As an aside, after we found out we got in off the waiting list a few weeks ago, both my husband and I left voicemails for her that were never returned. About a week after we left the voicemails, we finally caught her in the office and were able to confirm that we had the spot and set up a start date.

My questions are:

1. Would you say something to the director? An email or sit down with her on Monday? What do I say and what purpose will it serve?

2. Would you start looking at other daycares? I really like the teachers and the facility, the place is convenient and it would be really hard to find something else in the city. However, the director at this daycare is probably even more important than most because it's a mandarin immersion daycare and the teachers all speak english as a second language. The teachers are all fluent, but most have very very thick accents and it can be tough to communicate sometimes (I don't speak mandarin). However, the director's first language is english.

EastCoastBride · September 2011

Yes, I would say something. In person. I'd perhaps approach it from a "We've had a very rocky start. You weren't here for our appt and no one was made aware we were coming in. Then, on my first day, they weren't expecting me and no one had ever informed us of the 2 hour/ 4 hour rule. I'd like to know where the breakdown in communication happened because right now, we're really upset." and then let her talk.

I'd try not to be angry when I said it - just "to the point", but willing to listen to what she has to say.

jenn_darrin1515 · September 2011

EastCoastBride:

Yes, I would say something. In person. I'd perhaps approach it from a "We've had a very rocky start. You weren't here for our appt and no one was made aware we were coming in. Then, on my first day, they weren't expecting me and no one had ever informed us of the 2 hour/ 4 hour rule. I'd like to know where the breakdown in communication happened because right now, we're really upset." and then let her talk.

I'd try not to be angry when I said it - just "to the point", but willing to listen to what she has to say.

this is a good way to go about it. I would have been pi$$ed and started looking for a new dc asap. but since you really like the location and the teachers I would give the director teh opportunity to explain.

Cooper81 · September 2011

I get the family emergency part of the situation, who knows how serious it could have been. she could have gotten a phone call and had to just leave right that second and didn't even think to call you. BUT the whole second part, leaving messages, emails, etc totally NOT ok from the director of DC. Especially if she came back and then went on vacation. Communication flow is a big deal to me (and I'm sure others) when it comes to DC, especially when your child is not at the age where they can tell you what is going on, how their day was, if anything major happens at the center. This is absolutely an issue I would have a face to face, and I would start looking at other centers, this would make me very uneasy. I also understand that it might be hard to find another center. If after you talk to her, you feel satisfied with the outcome, then stay, but the second something like this comes up again, I would be out.

EastCoastBride · September 2011

Cooper81:
I get the family emergency part of the situation, who knows how serious it could have been. she could have gotten a phone call and had to just leave right that second and didn't even think to call you. BUT the whole second part, leaving messages, emails, etc totally NOT ok from the director of DC. Especially if she came back and then went on vacation.

To come back to this, I'd be willing to give her a fair amount of leeway on the emergency part, but past that... it seems like there is NO back-up plan for when she isn't there. That is really not acceptable.

And quite honestly - when you're high enough up the chain of command, even w/ a personal emergency, you have to make sure your work commitments are taken care of. Even if she didn't think of it until later in the day, she needs to have a #2 who she can say "check my schedule and take care of it as best you can".

THe more I think about it... it's pretty inexcusable that the staff had NO CLUE you were starting.

erstwhile+maven · September 2011

Do they have an Assistant Director? I've found Directors at the few places I've been interviewing/touring over the last couple of weeks tend to have weird hours and are not great at calling me back. I've found working with the Asst. Directors to be more efficient.

1026pumpkin · September 2011

I would bring it up and ask about the procedures for communication at the center- i.e. is there an assistant director or an administrator that is a back-up? I would cut her some slack due to the emergency, but let her know that you need to know the proper communication channels at the center.

KristenFMR · September 2011

I would see if they have other office support we have an assistant director and other girls that work in the office in addition to the owner

noonecarewhoiam · September 2011

Maybe I'm being cynical, but I'm reading "Mandarin immersion" as "way to charge crazy high fees while cheaping out on labor costs."

You can't rely on the director for communication with the individuals who will be caring for your child on a day-to-day basis. That's just silly. Because if you are, EVERY parent is. And the director can't (shouldn't) be expected to manage that sort of daily conversation.

Frankly, I'd find another daycare. And I'm pretty forgiving.

TessieF · September 2011

Thanks for the replies. I guess I will talk to her on Monday and let her know why I was frusterated, maybe give it a few weeks to see if I feel better about the place.

To the OP who thought mandarin immersion is way to cheap out on labor costs - it's not, they actually have a really hard time finding qualified applicants who speak native mandarin. The center is part of our city's asian community center. 90% of the asian population of my city speak cantonese so mandarin speakers are hard to come by. The lead teachers in each of the classrooms have masters in teaching or child development from Canadian universities. Although they are all fluent, I still find it really hard to understand them sometimes because their accents are so heavy.

Emilia0101 · September 2011

The first daycare we had started out rough. They had DD's listed under my husband's name so when we showed up everything was ready to go for baby Joseph not Isla. The director was a flake and the staff suffered because of it and it resulted in high turn over. After 3 months we got out and it was the best thing I ever did. I guess the reason for the post is you only get once chance at a first impression and it is hard to overcome if it is a bad one. Start looking and I am a very laid back forgiving person.

charlies-angel · September 2011

I would probably start looking for a new daycare. I would not be able to deal with such poor communication/organization from the director.

Jessys_Girl · September 2011

TessieF:

1) The teacher says she will let the director know I stopped by and to call me when she's back in the office. I understand emergencies happen, but it would have been nice to have received a phone call.

The week goes by. No phone call. No email. No apology for missing the appointment. Whatever.

2) This week -- I email the director on Tuesday with DD's immunization form and ask her to confirm she doesn't need anything else. No return email.

3) On Wednesday I call the director and leave a voicemail just checking in to see if there is anything else she needs before DD starts tomorrow. No phone call back.

4) This morning -- I bring DD in for her first day. Director's office is dark. One of the toddler teachers tells me she's on vacation. I knock on the infant room door and although they are friendly, they definitely aren't expecting me. As I am going over the number of bottles I have brought for DD the teacher tells me they can only take her for 2 hours today (and four tomorrow) because their policy is to transition the babies slowly into daycare. This is fine BUT - shouldn't someone have mentioned this to me before I show with baby in tow for her first day?? I had plans today that I had to cancel. I also had to walk a mile back with the stroller in the pouring rain because I share a car with DH and he needed it for work today (he was planning on picking DD up on the way home).

I am so angry with the director right now. I feel like I should say something to her, but I also don't want to blow up at her and start the beginning of daycare on the wrong foot. 5) As an aside, after we found out we got in off the waiting list a few weeks ago, both my husband and I left voicemails for her that were never returned. About a week after we left the voicemails, we finally caught her in the office and were able to confirm that we had the spot and set up a start date.

My questions are:

1. Would you say something to the director? An email or sit down with her on Monday? What do I say and what purpose will it serve?

2. Would you start looking at other daycares? I really like the teachers and the facility, the place is convenient and it would be really hard to find something else in the city. However, the director at this daycare is probably even more important than most because it's a mandarin immersion daycare and the teachers all speak english as a second language. The teachers are all fluent, but most have very very thick accents and it can be tough to communicate sometimes (I don't speak mandarin). However, the director's first language is english.

I count (bolded) five different instances where you have attempted to contact the director and have been unable to communicate with her.

This is a BIG issue for me. If my kid is being cared for by people, I expect those people to be available to communicate with me about her care. Period. I would DEFINITELY discuss this with her. I'd e-mail her first, expressing your concern at not being able to get ahold of her, etc. Then, if you don't recieve a reply (which I'm guessing you won't), I would talk with her in person and show her the e-mails you've sent and a list of the calls you've made and explain that you are feeling uncomfortable due to the lack of communication.

JoannaJes · September 2011

The only thing that popped out to me is that she might be taking vacation time to take care of her sick husband that was just discharged from the hospital. It doesn't excuse the lack of communication, however. There should be a back-up point of contact.

Wufroggy79 · September 2011

I think this is a HUGE sign of how this place is run, and I would start looking elsewhere immediately. The writing is on the wall.

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