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Success after IF
I'm starting drama (I'm sorry)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm starting drama (I'm sorry)
Again, I am not weighing in or taking sides, but I will say I am mighty uncomfortable with anyone saying that another poster here is unwelcome. Please don't put words in all of our mouths.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
I'm gonna regret this but here goes....
M$B,
I'd like you to consider a few things. Remember when you first found out you were carrying 3 babies? Remember the combination of pure joy that you were FINALLY pregnant after your struggles? Followed quickly by the terror of all the things that could go wrong? It was a joyful yet vulnerable time, no?
Now imagine that time coming after a DOZEN dead babies.
DOZEN.
12.
Imagine loss being your norm with pregnancy - not just a possibility.
I hope to he!! you've got something to back up this claim because this is way below the belt.
Just like there are few who will ever live or understand the depths of your loss likewise there are few who will ever live or understand a loss at the magnitude of a dozen.
How do you think you might have felt if someone had called you out for a liar thru any of your "drama" with a triplet pregnancy and a loss? Are you so certain that she's a fraud that you'd go there with her publicly? Apparently so. If you're gonna throw it out there by all means let us know how you're so certain because "I could script this stuff" ain't grounds for this level of cr@p on a board full of women who are traditionally much more kind to each other.
I understand if you feel strongly that she's a fraud and you don't want to support her but going a few extra steps to disparage her is really low and unnecessary. What DID you hope to accomplish by posting this?
Since you haven't been around much lately I'd like to educate you on a few things. Sure - not everyone adores Davez but I've seen YEARS of evidence of who she is. Yes, she's pig headed and outspoken. But she's also the first to make a slide show for a person who's struggling. The first to coordinate a gift package for someone whose marriage is falling apart. The first to cheer for and check up on so many women on this board.
Like with family in real life it ebbs and flows but over all she's shown time and time again that she's good peeps - not that she's just here to take. She got so sick of the drain she felt she was putting on the board with so many failed cycles that she took to cycling in private and not sharing the details of her cycle because she herself felt that it had become too much for the board. Would a fake take a break for a bit out of no where or milk it for all it's worth?
I get that you guys in multiples world have had some weird psycho stuff go down. I also get that it's not 100% impossible that your aligations are true.
However... I have serious doubts that someone who gives so much is diseased enough to fabricate drama to receive. Usually takers are takers, KWIM?
And beyond that? T has never once said she's gonna have trips. She knows all too well how this goes. She's not envisioning her life with 3 kids right now, she's praying like mad that she finally gets one out of the deal and hoping that the other 2 are fighters as well.
And for the whole issue of transferring 3 when she was concerned about HOM's?
I'll say it again. TWELVE + losses. Who the hell in their right mind would expect 3 to stick when the previous 12 didn't? Any doctor in the world would have considered transferring 3 under those circumstances a statistically intelligent choice.
And one more thing that's rubbing me wrong. If she'd had 2 in there I doubt you would have said a word.
The triplet thing is what set you off.
You need to look in the mirror on that one.
And thanks for looking out for us. It would be nice if you'd make an effort to invest in individuals on this board instead of deliberately starting drama to protect all of us at once.
Be a member of the SAIF family. Contribute.
Then cast stones if you feel you must but I think that you'll find that it's not really the norm around here. And that's EXACTLY the reason so many of us are proud to call it home.
And if reality matters to you at all I sat in a room with her DURING one of her many miscarriages and watched her struggle to find someone willing to give her a draw when she was on vacation.
Don't think that's the kinda thing you can fake, no?
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
I said I personally don't find it a welcome addition to this board. No words were put in anyone's mouth.
I dont know you, but I like you!
that said, remember BB? For those who said no one will take that much energy to fake anything? She faked a traumatic birth, birth injury, emergency hysterectomy and etc, and she did it on a private board, with just a couple hundred people. Everyone bought into her story, and a weird coincidence brought it to light.
People do lie about things and I think that we always need to assume truth, but be wary of lies. I dont know who tells the truth or lies and most times, I dont want to... I am too investing in peoples lives and I dont like how i felt when we discovered Erin Mary (BB) was a LLPOF.
I do respect peoples right to post agreeing with Million$baby or Davez, though, as long as it remains decent. But I also hope that the support for everyone doesnt diminish. Both Million$baby and Davez are long time well known posters, and we dont need a divide.
FWIW, Sommer, this is what I was referring to:
If I misinterpreted, my bad.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
I would just like to say that this is the one and only negative post about Davez or ANYONE that I have ever made. I do not spend all my time harrassing people, nor do I spend all my time here because, as you say, I am focusing on my children. I felt strongly about something and so I posted it, and it's the last time I'll post about it. That's all.
As others have stated, this makes me very sad. We have all been through a lot and the support that I have received here has gotten me through some hard times.
Ditto the bolded part X1000
What am I out if she's lying......nothing.... O well, it happens, sad and sick, yes. In the meantime I will support the women of this board until I have solid proof as to why I should not. That does not mean I have to like everybody here or like everythig about everybody here.... I also do not have to respond to every post. I can respond and disagree but, if I just have something outright mean to say, I'll keep it to my self...it serves no purpose other than to hurt another.
The fact that you'd select that quote, written by me (so obviously my personal opinion followed up by another post stating I PERSONALLY felt she was abusive and that sort of behavior is unwelcome), to focus on in this thread is really ridiculous to me.
Someone came here, shredded someone's character to pieces without warrant, and what you choose to focus on is me saying, "Hey that sh!t is unnecessary and unwelcome here in this supportive environment"? Wow E. Super cool.
I wonder how "welcome" someone would be if they creeped out from the cracks and professes from the rooftops how you're faking your colon cancer.
Come on.
I'm over it and honestly, over the semantics game. M$B was rude, mean-spirited, abusive, and totally OUT OF LINE in every single sense of the phrase. You want to pick apart my phrasing about "Hey you're sh!tty to do that without warrant" - rock on. Sleep well about that.
This is all very sad to see. I expect so much more from this board. I also don't want to see people taking sides but as a fellow MoM and, what most on this board don't know I also was pregnant with triplets. My pregnancy started a lot like Davez in that I had one rockstar, one little fighter and one that was pretty clear it wasn't going to make it. Sometime between 8w and 10w we lost our triplet. It would have really broken my heart if someone would have said that I was faking it because it's common for that to happen on the multiples board. It is sad that people go to those lengths but generally speaking if someone is called out on the multiples board it is with "proof".
It seems to me that so many people on this board are local to Davez or know her IRL, relatively speaking of course that I wouldn't assume that she'd be lying about this.
I *think* right now Davez doesn't need this stress.
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame
This post just makes me sad. Like others have said, M$B, I think of you very often and pray for your sweet angel. I can't imagine having experienced what you have gone through, and I hug my girls extra tight when I think about your loss. But I really, really don't understand the point of this post, other than to be cruel. This is a public message board. I'm fairly sure that every one of us realizes that any person could not be who she says she is, and any post could be fabricated. If you feel that way, then you are entitled to your opinion. But unless you have proof -- solid, physical evidence -- AND you feel that Davez's posts are causing harm to the others on this board, then I don't understand why you needed to post this.
And I will admit that it has me thinking -- how much drama is TOO much for someone to be going through? Where do we draw the line (as medical professionals, of course) as to what can be real and what couldn't possibly be? Sheesh.
DUDE. I told you that if I misinterpreted I am sorry. I honestly think that we all need to simmer down here. Good gravy, I'm out.
ETA: I have already acknowledged that it's totally possible some of you don't believe me - that's a risk of being on an internet based support group. It's OK - I know that I really DO have cancer. Wish I didn't. Oh well.
And I've gone out of my way to say how grateful I am for the support I've received.
Andalsoplus, I went out of my way in a post above to directly mention DW as a supporter of ME.
Regardless, I don't think that obligates me to want to shun anyone. I'm sorry that I'm not as abjectly disgusted by M$B as you are. I am not obliged to choose sides here.
ETAagain - if you read my previous replies in this thread, I have also said that I think it is unfair to ask DW to "prove" her pg and that I take her at face value. I am honestly perplexed at why you are so upset by me. All I said is I am not comfortable with anyone asking M$B to leave. But if you want to cast me as a villain here, go right ahead.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
I'm a bit confused as to why the MOM's are all over this like white on rice. As far as I could tell DW has never even said that she even has three viable babies. Wouldn't it be much more AWish and garner more sympathy if "OMG, I'm having triplets," came first, then several weeks down the line, "Sad news, I lost one (or more) of the babies."
All of the examples given by the MOM's about women who lie about multiples seem to be extreme examples that aren't even similar to this situation. Have any of those women been long time posters on a board or are they the kind who pop up, have all sorts of drama, then go out in a blaze? And this BB woman, isn't *that* the kind of situation where lie upon lie would be "predictable" if one would have tried to guess her next drama.
I have no ties to either of these boards, but felt compelled to comment because I, as a neutral observer, think the M$B is pretty out of line with this one and the dog pile by other MOM's is a bit strange. Especially since DW hasn't even said she is having multiples. Of course, perhaps in addition to being a great storyteller and predicter of other peoples IF (or apparently not) issues, M$B is also a psychic and can tell us what will happen 2 months from now.
I agree.
Yea I agree, it is beyond weird how the random MOMs have popped up. This WHOLE ENTIRE THING is absolutely ridiculous. The more I read, the angrier I get, which is sooo stupid considering now I believe that the original post was meant as NOTHING but a drama starter. I'm pretty sure M$B was put up to this by a group of MOM haters. Little too convenient how the randoms have popped up.
One of the main points here seems to be repeatedly missed...we don't need ANYONE trying to "enlighten" or educate us on the "ways of the interwebz". Grown ass women, remember? Seriously, this board and MOST of the people on it are bigger & better than the original post and the hatred it has started.
I am just not understanding how you can find it within to reach under the belt while scolding for "abuse of a fellow board member" I don't know, but a hurtful comment to make a point, is still a hurtful comment.... I am however talking to a brick wall I surmise, as you will never see anything you post as out of line.
and I am a little bit confused wtf you are? Everyone else in this post had the balls to use their real name, yet you say you have no vested interest in either board? BULLSHIIIT.
As I said before, both Davez and M$B are both well known, well liked posters. Each had critics and fans. That is fine, that is the way the world (and the internet) works. But to come in here and claim you feel you have a compulsion to comment because you are an unbiased observer is simply ludicrous and insulting to both Brooke and Tracie
You are a regular here, and you are just a coward. And that makes you the worst kind of poster of all. Thanks for playing, buhbye
So I found this post and just made my way through, saw your bubble on and figured you might still be checking or watching this post.
Come on M$B... Why?
I for one have found an awesome friend in davez, she cares, she checks in on me if I have been away awhile. She knows when I am upset, fake or not fake the woman is a freaking amazing lady who will support you and be in your corner. This is not something we can say about you, is it? You never offer any input in post, when you do post it's about you or your kids. I can't imagine what you have been through, it pains me to even think about your loss. This entire board was here for you, even davez, yep in my opinion she's pretty awesome. I am sorry you don't know her like I do.
I am sorry you don't know any of us like you used too. This is a safe place, I think this board actually doesn't draw crazy. Mulitiples board is different IMHO, maybe you shouldn't open or lurk if her post bother you that much. There is a block feature, you know.
I am sorry Davez had to read all this, yeah she's a stubborn, outspoken, seems to be tough as nails lady, you know she still has a heart and still has her struggles. She stays strong for the board, but you wouldn't read into that!
Again, I am not taking anything away from you for your loss, a mother should not have to go through losing a child!
I think you should feel bad for posting this and the fact that you don't regret it makes me loose respect for you.
I also think Howleyshell said everything best!
Savannah
Callista
Baby Trail Blog
"Someday we will look at our babies and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our babies, the babies we were meant to have." From Amy052006