I fell in love with a name that DH doesn't like...

KSimone619 · September 2011

I seriously have already named my child, and DH doesn't like the name b/c he knew someone by that name in school when he was little. I know they weren't close or anything, but I do understand association is hard to get over. How do I make him change his mind!!!

Fergie+1 · September 2011

Unfortunately, you can't 'make' him love that name, too.

What I had to do with my H last pregnancy was after we found out gender, we discussed names- he shot EVERYTHING down. I let it go until we were a month from due, then gave him the SAME list. Told him my favorite and why I liked it. He was sold.

But then, I did tell him that if he wouldn't decide with me, I'd name him myself- whatever I wanted. Wink The mom fills out the paperwork, not the father. Low blow? Yes. Effective on stubborn H's? Yes.

lulling · September 2011

Unfortunately you can't. My husband and I had a "veto" rule. If either one of us hated it, it was out. No questions. If we just were not crazy about it it was in consideration. My favorite got thrown out and so did one of his. Maybe you can find a name that is similar that you two can agree on. If you liked Elliott, maybe you two could agree on Elias or something like that.

greengirl0909 · September 2011

I can't imagine haivng DH pick a name that I hated and being unflexible to discussion. He tends to like really "frilly" girl names, where I don't. I would keep searching. You want this to be a choice you make together. I will say one name I like I did present a couple of times because I really liked it. I said, we can use this name, and call her this for short, and he decided he liked that. We thought we had our names chosen early on, then as our pregnancy went on we changed both of our names. By the time we delivered we had gone through so many names. Keep looking, eventually you'll come around to a name you both like. GL

526SadieSadie · September 2011

If you absolutely love it, can't think of naming your child anything but that name, keep it on your short list to revisit with him later, but keep looking for others. Involve him in the search, don't just bring him a bunch of names that he can shoot down one by one. Ask him to come up with a list of choices that he likes so you can discuss them.

If your naming styles are completely different from each other, you could always compromise with middle names.

KSimone619 · September 2011

lulling:
Unfortunately you can't. My husband and I had a "veto" rule. If either one of us hated it, it was out. No questions. If we just were not crazy about it it was in consideration. My favorite got thrown out and so did one of his. Maybe you can find a name that is similar that you two can agree on. If you liked Elliott, maybe you two could agree on Elias or something like that.

Great idea, but there really are no similar names...

KSimone619 · September 2011

guppysown@yahoo.com:
I can't imagine haivng DH pick a name that I hated and being unflexible to discussion. He tends to like really "frilly" girl names, where I don't. I would keep searching. You want this to be a choice you make together. I will say one name I like I did present a couple of times because I really liked it. I said, we can use this name, and call her this for short, and he decided he liked that. We thought we had our names chosen early on, then as our pregnancy went on we changed both of our names. By the time we delivered we had gone through so many names. Keep looking, eventually you'll come around to a name you both like. GL

When I delivered last time, we had only 2 names we could agree on and it came down the the last week before we decided for sure. Now that it's another girl, I'm not sure how we'll come up with another whole pool of names!

laurenbowman · September 2011

I have tried to talk names with DH and he won't talk about ANY of them. It's soo frustrating. He says we don't know the gender yet, so he says that's when we can chat about it. He also says it's such a big decision, and he doesn't want to pick the wrong name. Goodness, men. Good thing I'll just pick the name if he won't decide

punkymama · September 2011

I don't think you can change YH's mind about a name, sorry.

There were many girl names that I loved that DH said "NO" to and he had many names that I said "NO" to. I joked that if we have a girl, she will be nameless as we can't agree.

I would try to explain why you love the name so much but maybe a name book would help you all out?

kmhunt11 · September 2011

I'd say the association thing needs to be gotten over

I'm a teacher and a hellion by every name has crossed my path! Once your child is named, that will be the only one in the world for you both, imo. I agree with pp, revisit it in a few months. He may have come around. DD ended up with a name I'd initially vetoed. I think DH wore me down until I caved after 15 hours of labor

KSimone619 · September 2011

celticlullaby:
I'm curious - will you share the name? Maybe ladies here could help think up something similar for you.
Or maybe if you come up with a different nickname that would sell it?
My stepmom got her way with most of my siblings names because my father couldn't not let her win after she went through labor, so you could try a little emotional blackmail. But seriously, it wasn't ever something he HATED - it was just she picked between the top two names.
Technically my husband promised me the right to name the kiddo whatever I want in return for giving it his last name, but really we're talking it out and we'll go with something both of us like.
I wouldn't seriously try to force it if he truly hates the name - it won't be worth the fighting and resentment. Maybe even if he's really against it, he'd agree to using it as a middle name?

The name is Nora. We have a Claire already. I like the name b/c it's a little unique, a little normal. The only similar names I can think of are Eleanor (nickname Nora) or Cora, which I don't like. So I'm really just out of luck!

SaintDorothyMantooth · September 2011

DH hates my favorite girls name, too! I think its sweet and pretty without being frilly, but he thinks its "dumb." (thanks a lot)

I told him, I'll push this one out and name it, you can push the next one out and name it

(although in all seriousness, I'm sure I have to give the name up )

KSimone619 · September 2011

mrscjmb9410:
Have you tried using Nymbler? You put in 'inspiration' names and it gives out other names to try.
I put in Nora & your DD Claire and some suggested names that sounded good to me (YMMV):
Lena
Mia
Lucy
Grace

Good luck! Hope that your hubby comes around to Nora or you can find a 'better' name you both love!

Thank you and I have tried nymlber There are a lot of names I "like" but not a ton that I "love." I'm sure we'll figure something out! It sure would be much easier if they came with names!

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