separate childcare for 9 month old twins

ivygalore · July 2012

Hi Ladies:

do any of you have experience with placing your twins in separate daycare facilities? We have an opportunity for a very good childcare center that we've been on the waitlist for. they only have ONE opening! this would start in september when they're 9 months old) and the director said it's unusual for a spot in this class to open so soon (we were waitlisted for about 4 months) and that it usually takes 1-2 yrs.

since we would have 1 space there (if we take it and send one of the twins) and my husband works for the parent company, we would have priority for the next opening, but that could take up to 2 yrs. what would you do??? we have to decide and pay the deposit on monday.

shaket83 · July 2012

I don't think I could do it. I would feel like I was showing favoritism to one child over the other (they won't let you switch children on different days, will they?). Also, the logistics of getting two 9 month olds in the car and brining them to different places every day may be a pain, but I guess plenty of people do that with children of different ages. Hopefully a spot would open up ASAP and if you really love the place, go for it.

vlahop · July 2012

I would not have been able to do that for many reasons. My girls needed to be on the same schedule at all times (naps, feedings, etc...). I also would have a very hard time breaking them up. I know this would help you acheive the end result you are looking for, but I am not sure that it would be worth it. You would also have to drop offs and two pick ups, etc...

CER+MEL · July 2012

Unless there was indication that another opening was likely within a month or so, I couldn't do it. Separating the kids for even that long would be sad to me, not to mention the additional time that would be taken from hanging with them at home before and after work due to multiple pick-ups and drop-offs. I guess it also depends on how much you like/dislike the alternative to this center. Is this one that much better?

masked_rose86 · July 2012

As great as it is a spot openned up I would not know how to choose who goes where..... I get that you end up with priority on the wait list later, but I would just go back on the wait list for 2 spots....you would have to wait anyways for the second spot to open up.

Do what works for you (definitely a difficult decision!) and I get why you are stuck.

ivygalore · July 2012

thanks, ladies! hubby would do most of the drop-offs & pick-ups since the ctr is closest to his job (but not too far that i couldnt do it occasionally). the girls are on a great schedule now and they both sleep at night from 7pm -6:15am, even when one hasnt napped as well as the other during the day. they do thrive on routines so that is also a concern for me (which is why i was thinking of a daycare facility for the 2nd twin rather than an in-home center).

we dont even have an alternative at this point. honestly, as more time passes with me being home, i havent been encouraged to even look for daycare. this has been all dh's initiative, but i'll probably be working in sept so we do need something. plus, we're out in the dc area where good childcare is expensive and difficult to get!

uggh, they're still my babies and i'm just not ready for daycare

BananaPancake · July 2012

Ugh, that's tough. Daycare in DC is hard to come by at an affordable price, but the only way I could leave them at all was with the consolation that they were together, you know? I hope you can find a solution that you're comfortable with. I'm sorry you have to make this decision in the first place! :-( Hang in there!

macchiatto · July 2012

vlahop:
I would not have been able to do that for many reasons. My girls needed to be on the same schedule at all times (naps, feedings, etc...). I also would have a very hard time breaking them up. I know this would help you acheive the end result you are looking for, but I am not sure that it would be worth it. You would also have to drop offs and two pick ups, etc...

I agree with this. I wouldn't do it unless the other opening was guaranteed to be soon.

google123 · July 2012

No! no daycare facility is worth it. The kids should be in the same facility in the beginning, and not only that, what a hassle it would be to take your twins to 2 separate places. I don't have a problem if mine are separated (occasionally) between the crawler/walkers rooms, but they still are in the same place.

So a big definite, fat no! Find a place that will take both kids, and honestly, there are probably other decent daycares, and I'm sure this daycare is not the "Taj Mahal" of daycares that everyone thinks it is.

crystaleyes39 · July 2012

I personally wouldn't seperate my girls unless the 2nd spot would open up soon. 2 YEARS is a long time to seperate them and seems like extra stress to worry about your girls in 2 seperate places.

Reilly626 · July 2012

I would do it bc people move all the time and then you could get your other one in. 2 slots will be rare to open up.

MelleTX · July 2012

I can't imagine separating them - especially not for two years. Not sure about daycare costs in your area, but it sounds like in-home care or a nanny might be more reasonable with two. I would definitely keep them together. Keep looking, you will find something better.

Have you checked with Churches? I know here, all the Methodist churches have great daycare facilities which are cheaper than centers and you don't have to be a church member or Methodist to enroll them. It's not a religious based curriculum.

HokieLaw · July 2012

I wouldn't do it. When we were looking into daycares we would have had to split our twins. The daycares we found were right next door to one another but I was uncomfortable splitting my girls up. So we didn't do it.

HisBelovedPrincess · July 2012

see, as a preschool teacher I can understand the aggrivation with "waiting for a spot to open"....but as a MoM....I would have to ask myself "Do I willingly let them go to separate places when my husband and I go on dates?" "how do I feel when that is proposed?"

I constantly have family tell me "well, we would watch the boys more if you were more willing to send one to us and send another to someone else...." they're only 2....will they remember being at so-and so's house by themselves? probably not. Will they benefit from the one'-on-one time? Probably. But.....to me...they are a package deal....besides..trying to coordinate my schedule and 1 other persons is hard enough..let alone two other peoples....

anyways....how do you feel about sending your babies to two different babysitters to go on a date? Are you willling to do that? If so...then maybe you're option will work for you...but if not...:/

KellyD01 · July 2012

I couldn't do this. My girls aren't 2 yet and I can look back and see how they've relied on the other being there. If one twin is out of the room the other is looking for her. I couldn't force them to not have any contact for 8-10 hours a day.

SoldiersGreenBean · July 2012

Because you waited so long to look for day care, what's the likelihood that you'll find 2 spots in the same place? Not sure where in the DC area you are, but if you're in Southern MD, in home providers are only allowed 2 under 2 in their care. What are the chances that you'll find 2 spots at an in home, or 2 spots at the same center?

lmydogally · July 2012

I couldn't do it, I can already tell my girls need each other. They already look to each other for comfort and need to be near each other. No way could I separate them.

mars724 · July 2012

I can't even separate my girls for a trip to the grocery store, so, I don't think I could do that to them.

mrsemily08 · July 2012

hell no. That would be a HUGE pain to do two drop offs/pick ups/etc.

Soon2beMrs.Sivert · July 2012

Not a chance. No way at all.

ivygalore · July 2012

whew! thanks ladies! we're not doing it. dh thought about it some more today and spoke with the center's director ... long story short, we said, "no thank you, we'll go back on the waiting list for two spots". they will still contact us if one is open (just to see if we're interested), but they know that we need two spots and the director was very understanding. she said that they had already talked about how they could make it work but couldnt come up with a plan.

we're now looking for a nanny ... definitely pricey, but easier for the whole family!

Tofumonkey · July 2012

I couldn't do it. What are you going to do? Baby A - you get the good daycare that has lovely carers and is covered in everything winnie the pooh where you will be nurtured and loved and cuddled and qualify for Mensa by age 3.

Twin B, we're going to leave you at the crack-house daycare down the street and hope you aren't violated and scarred for life until a place opens up with your preferred sibling.

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