Toddlers: 24 Months+

Picking up vulgar language at preschool

A couple of weeks ago, DD randomly spouted off "oh sh!t!  oh sh!t!"  We completely ignored it, because DD is the type that will do something even more if we have a strong reaction to it or tell her not to do it.  It makes her want to do it even more.  So we completely ignored it, and changed the subject.  She said it once after that, but we ignored it again and haven't heard it since.  DH and I thought- ok, no big deal.  She doesn't hear that kind of stuff from us, but we knew being at preschool and being around other kids she would pick up something like that eventually.  A couple of days later she started saying "That sucks!"  Anytime we asked her to do something "Riley, let's clean up it's time for dinner."  "That sucks!"  Again, we ignored it and she stopped saying it.  But in the last few days it's gotten even worse.  We're now hearing words like f*ck, t!t, and d!ck.  Awful things, and it absolutely disgusts me hearing these words come out of my 2yr old's mouth.  We always ignore it and after a couple of days it goes away.  But we also always ask her "Where did you learn that word?"  And every.single.time without fail she says the same name, a little boy in her class.  She doesn't seem to know what any of these words mean, she just randomly says them. 

I'm planning to speak to the director about this today.  This along with some other issues has caused us to look at other preschools in the area.  There's one we fell in love with, but they don't have an opening until next month, but we went ahead and put her name on the waiting list. 

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Re: Picking up vulgar language at preschool

  • DD came home one day calling out "arm fart" and trying to do it.  I was not thrilled (I know it is minor, but still... especially with your language issues!).  I put a stop it it with a stern, "we don't do that" kind of thing.  But what really helped was I talked to the little boy in her class that taught it to her.  I know all those kids so well and they know me.  SO when he did it in front of me one day, she imitated him.  I told her that one more time she would land in time out and then I told him (gently) that DD is young and I don;t want her to learn that and to not do it in front of her.  And it worked!  I still can't believe it working but it worked!  They both stopped.

    Can you talk to the little boy or his parents?

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  • My DD has been in dayschool since she was 9 months old (she 3 1/2) now and I have NEVER heard her say any of the words you mentioned.  I don't think your LO is hearing it from the other kids - sounds like she is hearing it from an adult.  And if it's an adult teacher at her school, I'd be pretty pissed off!  I would certainly talk to the Director and maybe also speak to another parent to find out if their child is coming home with "new" words. 
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  • imagemrsawtry2B:
    My DD has been in dayschool since she was 9 months old (she 3 1/2) now and I have NEVER heard her say any of the words you mentioned.  I don't think your LO is hearing it from the other kids - sounds like she is hearing it from an adult.  And if it's an adult teacher at her school, I'd be pretty pissed off!  I would certainly talk to the Director and maybe also speak to another parent to find out if their child is coming home with "new" words. 

    No, there's no doubt in my mind she's getting them from this particular little boy.  DD has excellent verbal skills and a good memory.  Every time we ask her "Where did you hear that?"  or "Where did you learn that word?"  She always says "Aidan says that!  Aidan says ___" and then she repeats the new word.  She's great about understanding and answering questions, telling us about her day, who did what, what she saw, etc.  So I don't think she would say it's Aidan when really it was a teacher or someone else.

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  • We just went through this with the good ol "f-bomb". DS is a parrot..he'll repeat any phrase that sounds particularly interesting to him...and unfortunately he heard "f!#$ sake" somewhere and was popping it out (and he knew when!! When he'd drop a toy or bang his foot... "F@#( SAKE!" ugh). At first we just ignored it, but he seemed to be quite stuck on it. So eventually I had to tell him that it was a very not-nice word, and told him to say an alternative "pete sake" instead. Took a good 2 weeks to get him to drop it but he has finally. Once in a blue moon he'll pop it out but it's quite rare, and it's  funny because he'll then put his hand over his mouth with a big gasp and say "bad word!" 

    We take public transit quite a bit and hear all sorts of lovely things from passengers...  

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  • Well I talked to the director this afternoon when I picked up DD, and she confirmed that yes, they are aware that it's going on and they are trying to deal with it.  It's been happening for about 3 weeks now (both classroom teachers have heard the little boy say all of those words, and the director said she herself has witnessed a couple of them).  They've had two conferences already with the parent, and they plan to have a third one soon if it doesn't seem to improve.  Lovely.
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  • Indifferent  Oh my gosh! I would be horrified too if my 2 yr old were saying those words! Hopefully since DC is aware of the issue, it will stop. 
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  • same issue here.  heard some choice words at daycare and now says them whenever she is trying to elicit a reaction.  i tried ignoring but that didnt work, so now we just tell her those are disgusting words and we dont say them in our house.  she always says, "but so and so says that at school" .... just makes me sad for that kid.
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