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November 2011 Moms
Um... Thanks?
I'm not trying to be all hormonal,but my feelings are just a little hurt. My MIL came over today for dinner to celebrate my husband's birthday. She comes in and says she brought me a t-shirt and then says, "Well, I thought an XL would fit you.. Obviously I was WAY off.". Thanks, lady. I'm 7 months along and while I'm not small, I'm still wearing an XL and it covers everything just fine. I appreciate the commentary, though.
I made everything, salad, beans and BBQ tri tip and even made chocolate cupcakes with home made raspberry sauce and cream cheese frosting for dessert. She makes several more comments about my weight and then announces that she bought my step-daughter a Subway gift card because, "That girl doesn't NEED anymore junk, judging by her latest pictures.". Several comments were made about how chunky my younger BIL has become, too.
WTH, lady... I get that you're thin, but seriously?
Then she made a huge deal about knowing if we had a name for Jellybean. Apparently, it's her right to know if we have a name chosen because she's the grandma. I tried to make light, but she just kept going on about how ridiculous we were denying her the right to even know if he has a name yet. Last time I checked, I'm still gestating the little man and will be for another few months. He won't come home nameless, but I guess I didn't realize him not having a name made you less of a grandparent.
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Re: Um... Thanks?
That's really lame. I don't know who people think that they're "helping" when they make snarky comments about other people's weights, when has that ever helped anyone? It's just rude.
Sounds like you made an amazing dinner though, yum!
I agree with PP, that dinner sounds amazing!
It sounds like your MIL's weight issues are more about herself and her insecurities than you or your BIL. I would just try to ignore it, that is easier said than done at tome. It can be tough to ignore something as senstive as comments about weight/size.
Baby Turtle - November 2014
Sorry your dealing with this. I dont understand why any MIL would say/treat their DIL this way. They of all people should know how pregnant women feel and how they cannot control their hormones, no matter how hard we try! Ugggh, some people!
For what its worth, we also call our baby Jellybean, and while he does have a name, (i think) we havent shared it with a soul. Not even our children. People ask all the time, and when we say we aren't sharing most people respect that. Some people ask the kids, but thats the exact reason we haven't told them, because they would spill! So they just answer, his name is Jellybean for now
If it questionable when people ask, I tell them we just dont have one picked out yet. Its really no different than being team green, and not knowing the sex, and you absolutely have the right to choose whether or not you want to share with anyone, or no one at all! Brush it off, and just let her sit on her thumb and stew. 
Thanks, ladies... I just needed to get it all out. That woman just drives me nuts. She just tends to open her mouth and inserts her foot. She is forever making comments about weight. I'm not small, though mainly because of PCOS and a bought with thyroid cancer which left me without a thyroid. I can usually just shake it off and move on.
It's the comments about my step-daughter that kill me. The girl is tall, like 5'10 and is battling her weight, but she's not fat. She's a gorgeous girl and it makes me sad that she's being taught to hate her body.
The rest is just who she is. She is always saying we owe her information because she's "grandma" and "DH's mom". Being both of those things apparently entitles her to ask inane and inappropriate questions about any topic that occurs to her, including our pregnancy, finances and sex life. The only reason she's tolerable is that we only see her a few times a year.
To me, people who make comments about other peoples' weight are just letting you know they are obsessed with their own. No way to go through life, in my opinion. Her remarks are inappropriate and hurtful, but to me they are more about HER issues with weight than a reflection of reality for anyone else.
As for the name - personally I don't get why all the secrecy. When people ask me, I tell them I am happy to tell them but not willing to hear any negative opinions because we are set. That works!
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
Janimal, we keep the name a secret for a number of reasons. My MIL and her behavior has a lot to do with our choice, but ultimately, it makes us feel like something is just ours until the baby is born and we finalize things on the birth certificate.
You know nicer people than we do. We're keeping the name secret because people tell you what they think anyway. This happened with my brother and SIL. They let everyone know there were 100% on the name and people still told them that they loved or hated it. I want your friends and family. Mine are idiots.