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2nd Trimester
MacDougall2012
member
Superstitious Mom making me sad..
MacDougall2012
member
Hey Ladies,
I'm upset and just totally need to vent/ talk about my super superstitious mom in regards to my pregnancy!
Fiance and I told her that we plan to start buying the nursery stuff piece by piece because that's the best way for us to get it all done financially and everything since we're always getting married shortly after the baby and need to save as much as we can and she started with her negative hoopla about how it's bad luck and we should wait etc..
I was all excited and now I feel so worried and sad, like I feel like there's just so much negative energy surrounding my experience now. My sister had a stillborn about 3 years ago but she has a healthy baby boy now and perhaps that's why she is acting the way she is, but I don't know how to tell her that this is my own experience and I want it to be a happy one.
gahh, the last thing I want to be thinking of is something happening to my baby, but I don't see how buying a material item affects the health and well-being of my baby, things happen but if anything does happen I doubt it'll be from an item at home.
I'm just so excited, but now I feel sad lol, thanks horomones!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Superstitious Mom making me sad..
I don't understand how it would be practical to buy things AFTER the baby is born...which is basically what she's suggesting, isn't she?
I mean, you need the car seat - you can't leave the hospital without it. Unless you are bedsharing, the kid needs a crib to sleep in, and sometimes you need to order those in advance...so...I don't really get how she thinks you can wait for everything.
I totally get that she's probably still shaken up about your sister's stillbirth (which is so, so sad to think about...I had a friend who had the same thing happen) but you are right - buying baby items does not "jinx" the health of your baby!
Clomid Cycle #1: 50mg = BFP
=Beautiful baby girl born May 23, 2009
TTC#2: BFP Cycle #1, no fertility meds!
I have a BF who want to spoil the DC, but won't buy anything until I am 7 months. Her entire family has this belief.
You need to do what you know is best for you and your DH. I myself have been buying slowly. I do not want to wait until after the baby is born to get what I need. I also do not want to rely on a baby shower.
Happy Easter
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Sorry to hear you're dealing with this!
Just think about all the people who keep the crib and things from their first LO and use them for the second LO. That's pretty much everyone who has a second LO within a few years of the first one. Most of them have a healthy child, right? I'm sure they aren't all banishing the baby furniture as soon as they start TTC again. : )
My Mum was very superstitious and negative about me buying things for our LO.
Even something as simple as a singlet (I had to start small because I was so overwhelmed with all the options)
But she lost a baby when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant, and although she doesn't talk about it much, it's grief that she's always carried.
In the end I had to say to Mum that if the worst happened, having to pack up some clothes and a crib wouldn't make my grief worse. That they wouldn't be a reminder as though I would suddenly forget I was meant to have a baby at home.
She backed off, but I know that it was her way of trying to protect me from getting too excited in case something bad did happen.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
I am going through almost the same thing when you speak about your sister having negative engery about her previous experience. My sister in law had two miscarriages,in which one didnt progress past 5 weeks and she thought she was 10 and the other was 8 and never had a heart beat.... So she keeps asking me these questions and I know she has alternative motives just by the way she says it... We dont have the best relationship . Im 17 weeks (almost 18) and shell randomly text me if im having any issues. which makes me nervous and honestly pisses me off bc we dont have the best relationship and Im getting the Jealously vibe even though this is my first child and she has children already .
I dont know what to tell you when it comes to dealing with the situation, it is just annoying and honestly I am sure your sister hopes the best for you. if it was me I would probly remind her all pregancies are different and just because you have a issue doesnt mean I will.
I just had a falling out with the MIL about the same situation, because I wanted to start stocking up on small things like wipes and baby wash things that you can't run out of. She jumped all down my throat saying she thinks that by doing this was a bad idea, and that it's bad luck. I just thought...."I'm glad you don't get paid for thinking!" To me, you do what you feel is right. Me and DH will do the same thing, because buying it all at once is not a option for us. So I understand. People are going to give their opinion on this matter, but they don't understand how the impact of their words hurt, especially while you are pregnant. I haven't spoken to my MIL in a two weeks, and it still kinda hurts, but I don't care! I am being smart about the situation and if you don't like it...oh well! Good Luck to you!
I have alot of people that are so superstitious around me as well. At 1st it was crazy annoying and I got so upset everytime someone would say something superstitious.
My mom would say don't reach for items up high because the baby will suffocate...or my friend said I can't be in a house when there is any construction and after arguing with her for 20 mins she tells me it's symbolic and not for medical reasons. She said that the motion of someone nailing something means its bad for the baby.
I have shrugged off everyone and learned to slowly accept that my baby is healthy so far and im healthy and enjoying my pregnancy. I'm almost 14 weeks and I registered already and my mom already bought me my 1st gift of the registry heheh.. sooo excited.
Congrats and good luck and lets ignore these people we have enough worries and stress in our life.
No offense but I can see her point. But I have also been on that side of the Fence.
I lost my twins at 23 weeks. I had a whole nursery set up. Cribs, clothing.. everything.
When my water broke and my babies were born, and I had to walk out of the hospital without them it was the hardest thing I ever did. What was worse was going home to a room set up for them that they would never use. Never sleep in the cribs, never wear the tiny outfits that we had purchased for them. For months I could not go near the room, not even bear to open the door.
Not to say every pregnancy will be like mine, but the heartache of packing up things you know your child will never use is pretty heart wrenching.
This pregnancy I waited until I was almost 30 weeks before I even purchase anything for this baby.. The fear of reliving that moment of packing everything up was giving me anexity.
Just give your mom a break, she might not be over her loss. Everyone greieves in their own way, and that pain never really goes away and she wants to make sure that your not going to have to relive her pain if something were to happen.
Good luck with your pregnancy.