- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
I had to slip the mama bear hat on today
My mom and I took the kids to the State Fair. As we're waiting for the bus to head back to the parking lot, this rather odd looking woman was watching Miles and began telling me how cute he is.
Then she says "You really are SO cute for a person with Down syndrome."
UGH.
Everyone around us heard, including Nora, who turned around and was looking at me and the woman.
I said "Really? Why would you say something like that. What is that supposed to mean? That most people with Down syndrome are ugly?"
Clearly looking embarrassed, she said "Well no. I didn't mean it that way. He's just a cute kid is all."
So I said "You don't need to make disparaging remarks about people with disabilities to get that point across. Think more before you speak. Everyone has feelings, and deserves to be treated with respect."
A few people even clapped when I got done speaking. LOL...she just gave me a dirty look and walked away.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I had to slip the mama bear hat on today
Good for you!
He is an ADORABLE kid. Period.
This makes me really sad for all involved.
I have to admit, it's totally something I would say.
Not meaning any offense -- but if it weren't for the Nest, I just wouldn't know any better. Well, maybe I would. I don't know. I think it's one of those things that don't mean offense, but surely are offensive.
I'm glad you said something -- because people like that (me) would need to know that it's not proper to say something like that.
But I hope you don't take it to heart too much. I mean, I don't know her tone (and I've been drinking so I'm being a bit more candid than necessary...esp. for the nest) but I hope she didn't have ill intent when she said it!!!
(((HUGS))))
She really didn't have any mean tone necessarily, it just got to me because I get that with Miles on a fairly regular basis and it annoys me.
That and she was being a loud mouth dumbass so everyone around us, including my daughter, heard her and was looking to me for a response. I'm not just going to sit there and say nothing, thus teaching Nora she should do the same?
I don't normally get all preachy when stuff like this happens. Just struck a nerve for some reason today.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
~Lisa
Mum to Owen and Lucas
I don't normally get all preachy when stuff like this happens. Just struck a nerve for some reason today. "
Oh, I TOTALLY get that! And I soooo think you rock for saying something! I know you have a whole other level of responsibility with those babies that I could not even imagine.
I just also know that I would say something like that, innocently enough, and then feel defensive when called on it. And I should be called on it. Anyone should. But I know I would feel like a fuckingheel on the inside, which would cause me to be defensive on the outside. But hopefully, it taught her a valuable lesson. One that I have learned from being here. I know it sounds....silly....but after having conversations with you and PMQ about the R word, it has been removed from my vocabulary. To the point that I cringe when I hear it. To the point that *I* have even said something to people when they have said it. I mean, something that was so "eh, what's the big deal" to me has really changed because. And I can't thank you guys enough for that lesson.
SO while she might have given you a dirty look, I really hope that she takes your comment and thinks on it. And then passes that on. It's an important lesson!
Here is the difference between me and those people that applauded you. I would have been to stupid to stand there and wait for you to respond if I was one of them. I would have asked her myself what the hell was wrong with her, and probably caused more of a scene for you as a result. Then I would have felt bad.
That being said, you say she was rather odd looking. Maybe she had an issue herself and really didn't realize what she was doing?
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
That is an awesome response, I think you handled it great. And ditto to whoever said that Miles is just adorable period.
I am going to ask a possibly rude question but if she just went on and on about how adorable Miles is without mentioning Downs would you have accepted it at face value? I ask because I took photos of my friend's cousin's son yesterday who has Downs and he is just the cutest most pleasant kid ever. I made many comments about how cute and pleasant he is. Then afterwards, I wondered if a parent of a child with Downs is sensitive about normal nice comments...and I felt horrible that it crossed my mind because I truely meant that he is adorable and sweet period.
Oh absolutely not. I DO get that all the time, without any mention of Down's, and that's totally fine with me. In fact, I love hearing that.
Just don't toss in something like she did, the whole "so cute for someone with Down's." Then I get all cray-zay.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
Lol. Thanks for answering. I hate for you and any Moms that have children with any disability that you need to worry about this sort of crap. And again, Miles is adorable with that hair and those eyes!
OMG!
Good For You!!
I'd be clapping as well!
Hopefully next time she will think before she speaks!
::clapping:: good job.
I have to admit, I used to lack a filter and truly didn't mean anything bad but I'm sure if would have come off rude. I'm so happy to have you girls here to teach me some common sense and how to handle certain situations.
Now when Jake makes a comment about how someone is different, I just smile, kinda brush it off and say something along the lines of "yup, everyone is different, that's what makes them special." and keep going like it's no big deal.