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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Car Seat Rear or Forward?!
I know that the new recommendation is to not turn the car seat around until the age of two now. I am just curious how many of you turned the car seat at the age of one anyways.
DS has been screaming and crying in his car seat now for at least a month. I am at my wits end. He just recently screamed the entire two hour drive to my parents. While at my parents my mom took him to town with her and didn't realize the change and sat him in her forward facing seat. He didn't cry or scream at all. Should I turn him? Should I suffer through? Just tired of the constant screaming and crying that occurs from the moment his butt hits the seat until he is out of it.
Thanks!
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Re: Car Seat Rear or Forward?!
It is obviously your choice. However I wouldn't if I were you. DD is 90% for ht and wt and is still RF. DD and I were recently in a serious front end collision. Because DD was still RF she came through without a scratch. The officers at the scene told me they were very relieved to see her RF because kids are so safe this way. If she had been FF is is much more likely that she would have been injured.
I definitely sympathize with your situation. DD went through a stage when she stopped sleeping in the carseat where she wasn't real happy with it but it didn't have anything to do with FF or RF. She got over it and now if we are going to be in the car for more than 30 min I always bring a sippy of water, a snack, a small stuffed animal, and a couple board books.
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I feel your pain. DD is not a fan of the carseat, but I'm refusing to give in to her on this.
This is a matter of safety and as the mom I'll put up w/ her screaming before I turn her.
One thing I've done that helped is tape pictures to the seat of things she likes, family members, etc. It seems to make her happier, at least for now. She enjoys looking at the pics, also I always give her a couple of toys when I put her in it for her to play w/
The 75% increase in the chance of her being seriously injured or killed isn't worth it to me.
Our mirror plays music... that usually distracts her for a while. When that stops working I sing to her.
Also, she has things back there with her to hold, a stuffed animal, her lovey....
Hang in there. It really is a matter of safety.
med-free birth x2, breastfeeding, baby wearing SAHM
My BFP Chart
There's no way I would have turned him around right at 1. He's 15 months old and I don't see us even considering it until 18 months or so. We want to wait until 2.
He definitely fusses and such, but we've figured out what he likes to play with in the car, so those toys are always available. Singing often helps too. If I was you, I wouldn't turn him around just because he's crying. It's simply a matter of safety, at least for me.
My 32-month-olds are still rear-facing. (And they're pretty average sized; one is taller than average.) They have gone through phases where they were super cranky in the car but we've pushed through and then usually they'll go back to being pretty happy.
A 1-year-old (or a 2-year-old for that matter) is 5 times as likely to be seriously injured in a car accident if they are FF rather than RF. And if you've seen the crash test video comparisons on youtube, you can see why. That for me was convincing enough to keep my boys RF until at least age 3. (Doesn't look like they'll hit the height or weight limit before then; we have TrueFits which are pretty good for ERFing, especially heightwise.)
On the other hand, if a toddler frequently screams to the point that the driver is distracted (and doesn't when FF) that is a safety issue too. As is a toddler who is getting car sick, vomiting, etc., when RF. Those to me are valid reasons to turn earlier but I personally would want to try other solutions first before turning them--playing music in the car, giving them soft toys, stuff to look at, etc. to see if that helps. Turning FF would be a last resort for me.
That's a really tough one. I know that even though DD is 1, we wouldn't be able to put her FF because she's still only 16.5 lbs.
Honestly I think I'd suck it up and try to come up with a way to distract him, but that's easy for me to say since DD is happy RF.
I also have/had a car screamer. For any trip over 30 minutes (which is rare) we use a portable DVD player. This has really cut down on the crying. I play the really annoying crappy stuff in the car
It makes him happy and I can concentrate. I'm really a no tv before 2 person, but him staying RR and not screaming is safer than the no TV rec...IMO. For short rides we have a ton of kid CDs and we sing and talk. He has a mirror and I've positioned so he can see me from the back. We have really special toys that are only for the car and I rotate them very regularly to keep him interested. We went from screaming to go to the grocery store, to it actually being pretty rare that he gets upset. I would do anything you possibly can to try to keep your LO rear facing for as long as possible.
It is not a minimal difference in safety when talking fwd vs. rear... i can't find the stats right now, but it is something like 90% less likely to have a head injury or spinal injury in rear vs. fwd. They are slightly more likely to break their legs in rear facing...but I'd rather a leg injury that can be repaired than a spinal or head injury that could completely change his life.
If she is driving how is that possible?
Do you have the DVD player sitting on the seat? This would be VERY dangerous in an accident.
I switched #1 & #2 at 12 months. Dylan is now 15 months and is just shy of 19 lbs. I don't forsee switching her anytime soon.
I feel that the women on the bump are a minority in the real world. Our Moms Club had about a baby a month last year and I know at least 3 of the babies under 2 are now forward facing. Yes, RF is recomeended for safety, but your sanity is a safety issue as well.
We actually have my IPad attached to the headrest of the middle seat (LO Is on the side), they make a case for it to attach to headrest. Although it "could" fall, it is pretty securely fastened. I was actually suggesting the DVD player monitors that also fasten onto a head rest
Playing CDs, giving LO soft books or toys to look at, etc.
And we have one of the portable DVD players that attach to the head rest, too. It's not in the car most of the time but comes in handy at times, especially on long trips. (Our family members are all at least 600+ miles away so our road trips tend to be looong ones. The DVD player really helps!)
I have definitely noticed this. They are also (most of the time) waaaay holier-than-thou about their decisions.
I'm one of the only Mom's still rear-facing in my social circle and I'd never cop the attitude about it that I see here.
You need to do whats right for you. If your a distracted driver because of the screaming from the backseat, then that doesn't make RF any safer then FF, imo. It could be a phase, it could be that he is uncomfortable, he may have been ok in your moms car ff, because it was a different car, different seat, different person talking to him, who knows.
My DD rear-faced until 2 1/2, but I will say that there was definitely a tough period in there. I would say that she probably screamed in her seat from 13-15 months or so. I refused to turn her though. However, I was a SAHM, so I didn't really go that many places on a daily basis.
My DS is starting to get fussy about the car seat, but I have a few things I am going to try. I refuse to turn him before 2 though. I am just not comfortable with it.
I do have a fair number of non-Bumpie friends who have their kids ERFing as well. I think the word has been getting out more, especially after the AAP publicized their new recs, and so more people are starting to ERF, but I did learn about it from the Bump first.
My DD is still RF'ing and happy that way. I plan to keep her RF'ing until as close to two as possible.
My intention with my DS was to leave him RF'ing until two, but once he realized that I was up front while he was facing the back, he would try to twist his body around with his arms outstretched towards me, screaming and crying the whole time. It was so distracting and nerve wracking. One day when he was 14 months old and having a total meltdown in the backseat, I looked in the mirror and saw his face bright red and his hair soaking wet and plastered to his forehead with sweat, so I pulled over and turned him forward facing right then and there and he was so much better in the car after that.
Yes, its safer to keep them RF'ing until 2, but not every child is cut out for that, so you have to do what is right for you and your LO.
He does the reaching with his hands. And I know it is bad, but sometimes I will reach my hand back and let him hold my finger just to get a min or two of peace. He is in the car for 20 min every morning and 20 min every night during the week. On Sundays our church is 45 min away. The worst is when we visit DH's family almost three hours and my family at two hours! I wish he would just sleep but that does not happen anymore.