What age do they start to understand "No"?

HElizabethDU · September 2011

I feel like I am talking to a wall when I say no. DD likes to pinch and grab my hair a lot. I tell her Oww, and say No. In a deeper voice. She looks at me and starts to smile. Not really the reaction I am going for. Anything I should do different, or just give it months....

~Flossie~ · September 2011

I'm glad you asked this, I am wondering the same thing.

shakes · September 2011

32!

jcole32444 · September 2011

I think Jay understands no. Half the time I tell him he listens. But if he really wants something there is no stopping him. (At least not with a "No")

He may not actually understand it, but he does stop what ever it is half the time.

gisa886 · September 2011

When Toot pulls my hair I tell her no and give her a little hand pat and then she gets that crumply cry face and I laugh cause it is so sad and so cute at the same time. I am a bad mom.

sillypit · September 2011

According to Toddler 411, 9 months.

JoannaJes · September 2011

I think it's a reasonable expectation for a 9 month old to know what "No" mean. I do not think it's reasonable to expect a 9 month old to listen to you when you tell them to stop.

When DD yanks on my hair, I say "gentle hands, DD, gentle hands". Then I take her hand and stroke my head nicely with it. At this age you have to show them what you would rather them do instead.

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

SoDoMojo · September 2011

I'm pretty sure my LO understands "no". He'll stop whatever it is about 3/4 of the time. The other 1/4 he starts smiling and keeps doing it.

He's starting to respond to other things too. Like "sit on your bottom, please" when I need to get thru the kitchen gate. But that's only started this week.

themissizz · September 2011

I think my LO understands what "no" means. He stops when I say it, unless like PP said, it's something he really wants.

I have slapped his hands lightly on occasion when he keeps going for something dangerous after I've said no. Dog food and cords were two hand slappers (and yes, I consider dog food to be dangerous... even though my dog isn't food aggressive, you just never know).

gisa886 · September 2011

JoannaJes:

I think it's a reasonable expectation for a 9 month old to know what "No" mean. I do not think it's reasonable to expect a 9 month old to listen to you when you tell them to stop.

When DD yanks on my hair, I say "gentle hands, DD, gentle hands". Then I take her hand and stroke my head nicely with it. At this age you have to show them what you would rather them do instead.

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

Thanks for the suggestion, but no thanks. That is how my mom did it and I turned out just fine.

themissizz · September 2011

JoannaJes:
To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

I am obviously going to turn into an abusive parent because of a light smack on the back of the hand. Confused

ETA - I do appreciate reading the information in the thread about redirection, and it's something that I will certainly read more about. I'm on my first and certainly need to read up on things like this.

[Deleted User] · September 2011

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Mt2G1012 · September 2011

Like a PP said, they sort of understand at this age. But I believe you shouldn't say NO as much as we do. I try to use it onyl when she TRULY shouldn't be doing something that would be dangerous or she could wreck something. I just redirect a lot. I always say, Be gentle with the doggies, and then show her how to pet and not hit or grab. I find it is easier to remove the thing she wants but can't have than redirecting a million times. Just keep repeating, eventually they will learn.

[Deleted User] · September 2011

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JoannaJes · September 2011

crazystace:
JoannaJes:

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

I am obviously going to turn into an abusive parent because of a light smack on the back of the hand.

I never said anything about abusive. I will say that if a parent can't think of any other way to stop a behavior except to "tap" or hit an infant, then you are facing a long, difficult road ahead of you. Discipline and punishment only gets more complicated as your child gets older. If the only thing in your bag of tricks is to hit, well, good luck with that.

gisa886 · September 2011

SookieFrackhouse68:
gisa886:
JoannaJes:

I think it's a reasonable expectation for a 9 month old to know what "No" mean. I do not think it's reasonable to expect a 9 month old to listen to you when you tell them to stop.

When DD yanks on my hair, I say "gentle hands, DD, gentle hands". Then I take her hand and stroke my head nicely with it. At this age you have to show them what you would rather them do instead.

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

Thanks for the suggestion, but no thanks. That is how my mom did it and I turned out just fine.

Logic fail.

Why? My mom raised four kids and when we did things that required a pat on the hand to get our attention she did it and we learned not to do it again. I don't see why doing what our parents did is such a bad thing as long as we aren't abusing our children.

themissizz · September 2011

JoannaJes:
crazystace:
JoannaJes:

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

I am obviously going to turn into an abusive parent because of a light smack on the back of the hand.

I never said anything about abusive. I will say that if a parent can't think of any other way to stop a behavior except to "tap" or hit an infant, then you are facing a long, difficult road ahead of you. Discipline and punishment only gets more complicated as your child gets older. If the only thing in your bag of tricks is to hit, well, good luck with that.

I edited my response to include that I appreciate the information about redirection, as the whole parenting thing is new to me and I will be the first to admit that I do need to read up on it. However, I'm not a big fan of the insinuation that I'm going to hit my kid for everything, nor do I necessarily think that a light smack on the back of a hand qualifies as "hitting" them.

[Deleted User] · September 2011

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gisa886 · September 2011

SookieFrackhouse68:
gisa886:
SookieFrackhouse68:
gisa886:
JoannaJes:

I think it's a reasonable expectation for a 9 month old to know what "No" mean. I do not think it's reasonable to expect a 9 month old to listen to you when you tell them to stop.

When DD yanks on my hair, I say "gentle hands, DD, gentle hands". Then I take her hand and stroke my head nicely with it. At this age you have to show them what you would rather them do instead.

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

Thanks for the suggestion, but no thanks. That is how my mom did it and I turned out just fine.

Logic fail.

Why? My mom raised four kids and when we did things that required a pat on the hand to get our attention she did it and we learned not to do it again. I don't see why doing what our parents did is such a bad thing as long as we aren't abusing our children.

Not necessarily about the hand-tapping. I meant the general "this is how so and so did it, and they are fine." Like, just because it was fine in that instance, doesn't mean it is in general.

My parents did the hand-popping, lip-flicking and full-on spanking. In my case, they did it that way, and I did not turn out fine in that regard. Different strokes and all that, it's just a sensitive subject for me.

I respect that. My parents were spankers and my dad did it out of extreme anger so I make sure I am calm and cool when I discipline Toot. I only tap her hand with the hair pulling and with everything else I talk to her in a stern tone and take her out of the situation. I agree that you can't use that excuse in every situation and in every situation it isn't always correct.

[Deleted User] · September 2011

The user and all related content has been deleted.

gisa886 · September 2011

SookieFrackhouse68:
gisa886:
SookieFrackhouse68:
gisa886:
SookieFrackhouse68:
gisa886:
JoannaJes:

I think it's a reasonable expectation for a 9 month old to know what "No" mean. I do not think it's reasonable to expect a 9 month old to listen to you when you tell them to stop.

When DD yanks on my hair, I say "gentle hands, DD, gentle hands". Then I take her hand and stroke my head nicely with it. At this age you have to show them what you would rather them do instead.

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

Thanks for the suggestion, but no thanks. That is how my mom did it and I turned out just fine.

Logic fail.

Why? My mom raised four kids and when we did things that required a pat on the hand to get our attention she did it and we learned not to do it again. I don't see why doing what our parents did is such a bad thing as long as we aren't abusing our children.

Not necessarily about the hand-tapping. I meant the general "this is how so and so did it, and they are fine." Like, just because it was fine in that instance, doesn't mean it is in general.

My parents did the hand-popping, lip-flicking and full-on spanking. In my case, they did it that way, and I did not turn out fine in that regard. Different strokes and all that, it's just a sensitive subject for me.

I respect that. My parents were spankers and my dad did it out of extreme anger so I make sure I am calm and cool when I discipline Toot. I only tap her hand with the hair pulling and with everything else I talk to her in a stern tone and take her out of the situation. I agree that you can't use that excuse in ever situation and in every situation it isn't always correct.

That makes me sad. I'm sorry. And I feel your pain.

And I feel yours. He and I have absolutely no relationship because of that and he will never know my two kids. I would never, ever want to put my kids through something like that.

weberm05 · September 2011

I think my LO understands "no" she's 8 months. If I say "no" she'll stop what she is doing............smile........then wait a little bit and try again.

driveshorses · September 2011

I would say about 25.

KristenFMR · September 2011

JoannaJes:
crazystace:
JoannaJes:

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

I am obviously going to turn into an abusive parent because of a light smack on the back of the hand.

I never said anything about abusive. I will say that if a parent can't think of any other way to stop a behavior except to "tap" or hit an infant, then you are facing a long, difficult road ahead of you. Discipline and punishment only gets more complicated as your child gets older. If the only thing in your bag of tricks is to hit, well, good luck with that.

I didn't realize super nanny was on this board-thank god we've been schooled and told how to handle our children properly

wife1014 · September 2011

Olivia will be 4 in November and still doesn't Embarrassed

JoannaJes · September 2011

KristenFMR:
JoannaJes:
crazystace:
JoannaJes:

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

I am obviously going to turn into an abusive parent because of a light smack on the back of the hand.

I never said anything about abusive. I will say that if a parent can't think of any other way to stop a behavior except to "tap" or hit an infant, then you are facing a long, difficult road ahead of you. Discipline and punishment only gets more complicated as your child gets older. If the only thing in your bag of tricks is to hit, well, good luck with that.

I didn't realize super nanny was on this board-thank god we've been schooled and told how to handle our children properly

Yep. See my screen name? Nanny Jo.

BeachM · September 2011

Considering he has a meltdown when I say "No" or "You don't need that" (usually in reference to trying to grab a power cord which he is obsessed with), I'm pretty sure he understands.

We handle it by saying no and redirecting.

jmb527 · September 2011

flip_flops:
Considering he has a meltdown when I say "No" or "You don't need that" (usually in reference to trying to grab a power cord which he is obsessed with), I'm pretty sure he understands.
We handle it by saying no and redirecting.

Glad to hear I am not the only one who get these reactions. Oh and my LO is obsessed with power cords too.

bgf1 · September 2011

As Cole gets more mobile I find I am starting to think about discipline and how DH and I should approach this as parents. I went to the library this week and got a whole whack of baby/early years parenting books, and found 2 really good ones. Parent Effectiveness Training and Positive Discipline - The first three years. I am still making my way through them but would highly recommend them.

shaw · September 2011

My LO is ALMOST 9 months and is verry aggressive with what he wants. He would put dog food in his mouth in a instant. Cords look like something great to bite on!?!? When I say NO, he thinks it is funny and when I redirect, he goes right back to the behavior. Eventually he will also get a tap on the hand or the booty. He needs to know that some things are dangerous to his well being.

Arielle27 · September 2011

I think at 9 months they can understand No - or at least the tone... It doesn't really work for me, because he knows I'm not serious, so he just laughs and continues doing what he's doing. But when DH says NO, he immediately stops whatever he's doing and moves away!

J+MS · September 2011

KristenFMR:
JoannaJes:
crazystace:
JoannaJes:

To the person that is "tapping" her baby's hand...you are going to have serious problems ahead if this is how you deal with redirection at this age. Get a child development book, and start reading.

I am obviously going to turn into an abusive parent because of a light smack on the back of the hand.

I never said anything about abusive. I will say that if a parent can't think of any other way to stop a behavior except to "tap" or hit an infant, then you are facing a long, difficult road ahead of you. Discipline and punishment only gets more complicated as your child gets older. If the only thing in your bag of tricks is to hit, well, good luck with that.

I didn't realize super nanny was on this board-thank god we've been schooled and told how to handle our children properly

Her comments were actually sound and I agree with her.

grover1024 · September 2011

we're attempting to limit our use of "no" with our 9mo old. i do a quick "ah ah ah!" to get him to pay attention to me, then tell him something like "no touch" or "that's not for you" and he catches on & plays elsewhere. i save "no" for dangerous things like electrical cords. i have heard that limiting "no" makes it less likely that they'll go through that dreaded stage later on where their answer to everything is "no". i'm crossing my fingers that it works!!

yaeger16 · September 2011

I think E is starting to understand what 'no' means. When I say it he looks at me with a stern look and shakes his head no. It's hard not to smile or laugh when he does that.

insertclevername · September 2011

LO started to understand "No" about a month or so ago, but I really try not to use the word that often. I try to catch myself before I say "No" and I try instead to redirect or model a more appropriate behavior.

Big ones right now are grabbing glasses, jewelry and the cats. For the jewelry and glasses I give him something else to play with and distract him. For the cats, when they let him get near them I hold LO's hand and show him how to pet and talk him through it.

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