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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
TobleroneBar
member
You might see me on the news...
TobleroneBar
member
I am at the end of my rope with my daughter... right now she is no longer dear (DD) to me...she will now be called "pain that was spawned from my body" PTWSFMB hmm maybe PSFB.
Eitherway, long story short...she was caught abusing her privliages with her cell phone and FB and was immediately taken offline with EVERYTHING except gmail which I use to communicate with her. (I'm really ashamed at her behavior and really don't want to repeat it) She is grounded for a month. No, fun times, no riding horses, no going over to family's house, no friends yadda yadda. She was allowed tv(no cable but had netflix), ipod and DS...that's all she had left.
Reason why I left some "doors" open was for her to prove to me that she can be responsible. I wanted to leave her ways that she could regain some sort of trust. Trust that she can be responsible, trust that she tells the truth, and trust that she can be mature enough for the freedoms we give her.
Earlier this week she was caught using gmail to chat with friends...we sat down, had a discussion and she fed me these insincere "Meet the Press" apologies which sometimes are more annoying then her breaking the rules. After repeatedly telling me that she won't do it again...I caught her AGAIN today talking to a different friend.
I'm DONE!! I guess I will not only have to take away the rest of her outlets BUT I'm going to start making her read books and give me book reports with her time. I don't know what to do after that...I don't know what I'm doing... I don't know how to convey to her just how important trust is... I haven't purchased her a single item of clothing for school because of this...I've just purchased her school supplies. She does her chores....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH fvckity fvck fvck!!!
FFFFVVVVVVCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
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Re: You might see me on the news...
Hm, must be pretty bad. (I'm imagining something along the lines of sexting/nasty emails to boys...)
She's a teenager. Taking away privileges is going to cause resentment, but IMO, the only way to get your point across. If she keeps it up, you may have to tell her she can't attend school functions she wants to attend (Homecoming, after-school activites, etc). I know as a teen, that would've had me singing a different tune.
Sorry you're having to deal with this... Just keep saying to yourself: she'll be 18 soon enough... she'll be 18 soon enough...
Ugh. I'm sorry! I may be on the news with you soon. I have an 11 and 9 yo SD that are currently staring at the wall after school because literally all their privileges have been revoked. When CPS shows up at my door because of their lies I figure that's only fair. I'm not looking forward to 13.
I am so so sorry! Teenagers, ugh! What sucks is no matter how much you explain that she made the choice to disobey so those are the consequences, she'll think you are the meanest meanie on earth. I wish I had some advice:(.
sigh...I'll just tell you. Yes, it was on the lines of sexting. She was at her friends house with two other girls and they were texting a boy on Liz's cell phone that she wanted to have sex with him "make love". Her story (the end one I got) was that they were all joking around with him and thought it was funny and that it wasn't her typing the stuff but her friends. I don't give a sh!t who texted it...it was on her phone, she shouldn't allow access to her phone and saying that you want to have sex with some boy IS NOT FUNNY!!!! It could lead to horrible horrible consequences and she needs to know this. Another aspect of the phone was that she was talking like a trucker dropping the F-bomb with each text...this one really didn't bother me too much because in the context of the texts going back n forth they were just joking around...I get that, I was 13.
FB the issue was her lieing about herself. We have family members on there that know her and know she's not being truthful with somethings.
ugh, I don't want to choke her so bad that she will rebel and then really fly off the handle...but I don't want to do NOTHING either. It's a very hard line to walk...I feel like the village idiot and failing her. On the other hand I do understand that she is 13.
I'm sorry, I really don't want to scare any of you. This is just me and doesn't mean that you will have to go through the same problems. I don't want to FAIL my daughter by reacting poorly...
Thank God for Jacob...because he is the ONLY reason why I still like kids right now.
My only suggestion would be to be up in ALL of her business. If she wants a gmail account, share the password so you have access to it. Same thing with FB and any other social media. Let her know you're going to be checking her phone/texts regularly.
Or, you could just lock her in a padded room until she's 30. Either way.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11
Yup, I'm the bad guy... But you know what, even though I feel like running away right now...I'd rather care for her and be the b!tch mother then the cool one who allows anything and everything.
It would be so difficult to have a teenage daughter in this day and age. I have no clue, except having not so long ago been a teenage girl, I will tell you that I was in no way mature enough at 13...14...even 16 for my mom to just trust me. She knew our passwords and checked things frequently, always knew where we were and who was with us (even checking at times by showing up). I hated her and was totally embarassed, but am SO thankful now.
I lost a lot of friends because I wasn't able to go to parties and that was what they were in to, but by senior year of high school, when my whole group of friends (from when I was younger) were all coke heads, failing school, and/or pregnant. I am so glad she was involved enough to keep me out of all that, because at that age you don't have the best logic and nothing matters more than what your peers think.
You are a strong lady and I admire you for caring enough about your daughter to check in on her. It will be a long few years, but she will certainly appreciate you when she gets older. You deserve a beer.
Online Photo Editor
A Frog, A Monkey and a Ladybug
Thank you! Wow, thank you for your response...I can't tell you how much that makes me feel better in what I've been trying to do with Liz...
I want Liz to be her own person, and learn life lessons. I want to be a good guide for her. But that requires trust. After reading what you had to say about trusting teenagers; perhaps you have a point there. Maybe I need to mix around how I'm approaching things. I'll have to ponder this some more.
This sounds odd to me but.... Thanks, Tits
You're welcome to my unsolicited parenting advice anytime! Let us know how things go.
Online Photo Editor
Make it something that will benefit you! Chores, chores, chores! Lol- you could have a sparkling clean, spotless house by the time she's ungrounded! Seriously.
It sounds like a typical teenage lack of foresight- they just can't see that 1. things send electronically/via the internet stay there forever and 2. that once they hit "send" it's out of their control- the recipient can pass it on, share it, etc.
Have you guys had the consequences of sex talk yet? Not just pregnancy, but like, herpes and other sexual transmitted infections. My sister works with teens talking about sex and STIs in high school, and she finds that pointing out that gonorrhea and genital warts are more forever than a baby. Maybe taking her down to a health unit to talk to a nurse and be shown the grossly graphic pictures of STIs might make an impression?
Is there any charitable/volunteer work she can do to occupy her time? Like at a food bank or outreach centre?
That sounds so frustrating...I am not looking forward to teenage years!
Oh and BTW, the picture in your siggy of your older DD, the second from the left that you used to have bigger, I totally thought that was you until now, looking at your new layout. I always thought "she looks sooo young!" haha
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
I have no idea what you're going through...but I have to agree with PP. Reading/Writing as punishment rubs me the wrong way. Limiting her freedom to reading can be a good thing, book reports might be over the line. But I am ONLY speaking as a teacher, not a parent. I am so sorry. Like everyone else has said....I am totally not looking forward to those days.
to remove the redirecting hyperlink spam
PLEASE STOP SPAMMING THE BOARDS
This is the thing...she is involved with horses was going to start voluteering at the YMCA, she does all her chores, keeps her room clean AND she rocks a 3.8-4.0. Given her successes with everything I dont know why she is doing this! I have all of her passwords and accounts. I monitor the HELL out of her. The crap she pulled was while she was at a friend's house which got her grounded in the first place...she knows better...grrrr