OMG - IL vent (looooong) — The Bump
Pregnant after IF

OMG - IL vent (looooong)

When I went into PTL, my DH called his parents and told them the scenario. They were visiting some friends and buying their iPads, so they didn't leave for a few days. I went into PTL on Friday morning, and they got to our house Tuesday night. They've been hanging out at our house, and helping watch our dog while I'm up at Stanford and my DH goes to work. Well, they came up yesterday to tell us they are bored and going back home on Sunday. They also said they will not be back when the babies are born, b/c it's just too expensive (they don't fly, only drive, and the only expense is gas). They say all of this, then go back to playing on their iPads (they got top of the line w/ all accessories -- $2,000). The only thing they talk about are their iPads.

So, our new plan is I will stay in my Stanford apartment by myself, and my DH will come up every other night to help me (dishes, laundry, etc). We just don't have anyone else to watch our dog, and we are paying for this Stanford apartment ($250/week) and can't afford pet boarding on top of this. DH and I are both completely stressed. When the babies do arrive, it will be just DH and I. No one else will be there to welcome them into the world, or help us emotionally while the babes are in the NICU. Or God knows what will happen w/ Ben and his issues. All because they are bored. We live in Northern California -- I think it is impossible to be bored here!!! We live 1 mile from the beach, the city is 1.5 hrs away, there's hiking, the redwoods, shopping, dining, Carmel, Monterey, etc.

They also said it would be great if I had the babies before Sunday so they could see them. MIL even asked me what my gut feeling was -- when I was going to go into full labor. Like I freaking know! But more than anything, I don't want them coming before Sunday. 

And the topper -- SIL had B/G twins 9 years ago. Needless to say, MIL compares me to her all.the.time. SIL was also on public assistance, so the financial challenges we face, SIL never had to face w/ preemies or PTL. Drives me crazy. When I told family we made it to 30 weeks, she wrote back "congrats. you beat me."

Ugh. Sorry for the overload. I just needed to vent!!! DH and I will pull together and get through things, but we will be broke by the end of this. I just hope and pray we are broke w/ healthy babies. 

TTC since 8/09
DX: PCO, ENDO, High NK, MTHFR
8/10 = Lap to remove Endo

2 Femara TI, 3 Follistim IUI = BFN & 1 c/p
IVF #1 - BFP - boy/girl Twins!

Ben and Reese born at 34w2d!

Re: OMG - IL vent (looooong)

  • Wow that is crazy! I'm so sorry. Their behavior is totally uncalled for. (((HUGS)))
    Lucky SAHM to Grace


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    2.5 years, 3 IUIs, 2 IVFs, and 1 FET


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  • Wow!  Your ILs suck!  I would be so hurt by their comments/attitude.  I am sorry you are going through this.

    (((hugs)))

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  • I'm so sorry you have to go through all this alone. :( 

    Maybe when the babies come they will change their minds and come back. Would it help at all if your DH spoke to them?

     That just sucks though, I'm sorry.

    ((Hugs))

    Two years, two rounds of IVF, AH, ICSI & Acupuncture brought us sweet baby G born 10/20/11


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  • image njohnson1972:

    Wow!  Your ILs suck!  I would be so hurt by their comments/attitude.  I am sorry you are going through this.

    (((hugs)))

    Yep - they definitely aren't ILs of the year. DH is probably going to say something tonight. I feel so, so bad for him -- he's really hurt and disappointed.

    TTC since 8/09
    DX: PCO, ENDO, High NK, MTHFR
    8/10 = Lap to remove Endo

    2 Femara TI, 3 Follistim IUI = BFN & 1 c/p
    IVF #1 - BFP - boy/girl Twins!

    Ben and Reese born at 34w2d!
  • O.M.G.  Seriously?!  First of all.... do not wish that you'd go into labor this early!!  If anything wish that they DON'T come before sunday and stay put as long as possible.  2nd of all... if they are your only support system, I'm so sorry that they are being so selfish:(  That is ridiculous.  Like you need this added stress on top of what you're going through.

     

    I'm so so sorry:(  (((Hugs))) 

    TTC #1 since 4/09

    Diagnosed with PCOS 10/09

    3 rounds clomid + TI, 6 IUI's with injectibles- All BFN!!:(

    IVF #1 ER 2-7-11, ET 2-12-11 (transferred 1 perfect embie, 11 snow babies)

    After almost 2 years of waiting, our miracle baby girl was born October 29, 2011!

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    I might have to wait, I'll never give up I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck

    Wherever you are, whenever it's right you'll come out of nowhere and into my life
  • Ugh, I am sorry they are being so lame. Seriously, people are so freaking self absorbed sometimes. I understand that they have their own life, but you guys are going through so much right now, it would've been nice of them to lend a helping hand. 

     Well, you guys will get through it with or without them. I just wished it were easier (((hugs))) 

    IVF# 3 brought us our miracle

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  • That is completely ridiculous!!  You have every right to be annoyed by them.  And I agree, who could be bored in Nor Cal??  It's one of my favorite places on earth and I would LOVE to be there as should they especially with their grandchildren on the way.  Ugghh.  I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! 

    Diagnosed PCOS 2/07, TTC #1 since 8/09
    11/10 - Clomid Round 1 = BFN
    12/10 - Clomid Round 2 = BFN
    1/11 - Voluntary Break = BFN (duh)
    2/11 - Clomid Round 3 = BFN
    3/11 - Femara + IUI = BFP * Beta#1=56 * Beta#2=266
    *Cautiously expecting baby girls on November 28, 2011*
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  • So very sorry you're in such a crapoy situation! Keeping you and the LOs in my T&Ps that they stay cooking and healthy! And tell the ILs where they can stick their ipads!!
    Dx Anovulatory PCOS Clomid,Ovidrel,TI=BFN IUI#1-#3 Femara,Ovidrel=BFN IUI#4-Gonal F,Ovidrel=BFN IUI#5-Gonal F,Ovidrel= BFP!! Beta #1 11dpIUI=34, Beta #2=131,first u/s 3/14=1 perfect bug with a heartbeat! Anderson Phillip, Born 11/2/11 7lbs 10oz 21in. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Huge hugs. I'm so sorry your Inlaws are such a pain. I hope you keep those babies cooking for several more weeks. Best of luck with everything.
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

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  • (((hugs)))

    I'm so sorry that your ILs suck!  You and your H are going to be great parents and pretty soon all you'll be able to think about is how much you love your LOs.  Don't worry about the crappy ILs you don't want them around anyways if they aren't going to be supportive.

    TTC since 8/2004
    Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
    DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
    DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
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  • I'm sorry your ILs suck!  They seem really self-absorbed.  It sucks that they can't help you guys out more, but I'm sure you'll get it all figured out on your own.  *hugs*
    Sunny

    Dx: Hyper-turned-hypothyroidism after RAI, Stage II Endometriosis, PCOS/annovulation

    Femara brought us our first-ever BFP after 5+ years!
    Beta #1 (13dpo) 40.8, Beta #2 (17dpo) 189.4, Beta #3 (24dpo) 3748.5

    Evangeline Rachel born at 37w via scheduled c-section due to IUGR and being breech

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