2nd time moms- regret finding out?

greengirl0909 · August 2011

My BF has 4 kids. 1st time she was team green, second time found out she was having a girl. 3 and 4 went back to team green. She said knowing was too hard for her, because she imagined her baby in a certain way, with a certain personality, and when her baby was born and was different, she felt she had a harder time bonding. I had another friend decide to go team green this go round with her secodn because she felt like it took away something for everyone to know so early.

Anyone else regret finding out?

vanillacourage · August 2011

We found out last time & we'll find out this time. If it's a boy, we know we don't need to buy much as we're all set on clothes and boy-ish decor. If it's a girl, knowing that this is likely our last baby we would probably do things like a girl-ish nursery, buying girl clothes ahead of the birth, etc. Our major things like crib, carseat, etc are all gender-neutral, it would be the little things we'd want to splurge on.

kmiller1012 · August 2011

I was team green the first time around. This time we are considering finding out, so I am interested in every ones answers.

What about you, did you find out the first time?

mishpug · August 2011

We found out and I have no regrets. We will find out again, not because I want to imagine my babies a certain way, I know we have no idea what their little personalities will be. We will find out because DH and I both felt really connected to DS after we named him. I can see the pros and cons either way and I guess everyone just has to decide what is right for them.

raceyrae · August 2011

We found out with our first two and hope to with this one also. I in no way thought it affected my ability to bond with my girls. If anything I felt more ready for them because I "knew" what they were going to be. I don't think I would ever imagine their personalities and then be disappointed if they were different because there is no way to know what each baby's personality will be like. I don't see the point in having that type of expectation. I liked preparing for having girls (nursery, clothes) but we got all gender neutral large items anyways (carseat, swing, high chair, etc.) so if this one is a boy, I'll just need to change up the room and buy some clothes. To us it's exciting to find out whether at the u/s or at delivery. Either way, we didn't know what it was until we went in and so it's a surprise.

MelbaCat · August 2011

I don't regret finding out. That being said, we're team green this time around. Mainly b/c I want the surprise. But I don't regret knowing last time.

jaemiller · August 2011

I found out with DS and don't regret it! knowing that it was a boy helped me to prepare. I will more than likely find out this time around to:) I'm a control freak though. Everyone is different!

Irisheyes1247 · August 2011

We were team green last time, and will be this time too. But I actually had a different feeling - I felt like it probably would have been easier to know the sex and be able to name it. But I really liked the surprise factor. I don't want/need everything to be decorated exactly perfect, because I want to be able to add things as baby grows. I don't want to get their name embroidered all over everything. I loved having the dr say "it's a girl" and that was a complete surprise to everyone there. This time i'm hoping that dh will be able to announce.

HeartcoreLove · August 2011

I don't regret finding out at all! I felt like I was able to be more prepared. Plus I dont think the team green/neutral colors are as cute as the gender specific.

ktekne · August 2011

We found out with DD and plan to this time around. Our big items are gender neutral anyways but I wanted to have clothes and the room gender specific. I had no expectations about DD except that she was a girl. Each child is different whether you know the gender or not so I wouldn't expect the personality to be a certain way. Even if we have a girl again, we will have to prepare for different season of clothes. DD was born in September so her 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes are mainly winter and this LO will need summer clothes.

metzy144 · August 2011

I have absolutely no regrets finding out. Once we knew baby #1 was a girl I would imagine what she would look like or what she would be like but I didn't have it set in my mind that this is how she has to be and if she isn't I will be disappointed or won't bond. I find that a little odd. I think it was fun because her looks and personality were such a surprise to us. I can't wait to find out again this time around. I want to teach DD her little brother/sister's name. Personally, I think what the baby will look like, when they will be born etc is enough surprise for me. Finding out what the baby is doesn't take away from the fact that it is an exciting time in our lives and an amazing experience.

sunnyday016 · August 2011

We found out with DD and will again. I have no regrets about finding out. I loved knowing that I was having a girl and was able to bond great with her-before she was born and after. We chose her name early on, so it was nice to start calling her by her name.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · August 2011

Your friend sort of has an odd way of looking at things. I found out with #1 at 20 weeks and when she was born I didn't have any sort of views of how she should look or act. She's her own little person and you have to look at it like that.

I liked knowing what I was carrying because it gave me a sense of bonding before the baby was born. I thought of her and would talk to her like she was my little girl. Once she was born it was like I was meeting her for the first time in person but I felt like we were already friends...there was already a bond formed. Not knowing what the baby is for me, keeps it as nothing more than an object in the stomach. Not everyone will agree with me on that because there are Team Green people on here but that just my feeling on the matter.

kmhunt11 · August 2011

I loved finding out and will this time too. Having a big milestone to hit at 20 weeks really helped me get through the long haul. I enjoyed the surprise of finding out at 20 weeks. I think almost all gender neutral clothes look like boys clothes, and loved having pretty, girly stuff to dress her in right away.

Irisheyes1247 · August 2011

One thing everyone keeps bringing up is that they want the cute clothes to dress LO in. We brought both a pink and blue outfit to the hospital w us and you get an awful lot of outfits from people so I only had a few "gender neutral" things. Which are pretty ugly, but not that bad when mixed in with pink or blue.

mommynpink · August 2011

I found out with my first 2 and I don't regret it at all!! I know with my first I thought she would have looked different. Both Dh and I had blonde/white hair at birth. and she was born with the darkest hair but I loved her just how she was because she is who she is. My 2nd one looked like how I imagined my first would look and we were shocked but in no way do I regret finding out.

We aren't finding out this time just for the fun of it. We have found out twice and giving team green a shot.

TheMutleys · August 2011

Zero regrets. I read an article in one of those stupid free baby magazines that you get by the truckload that put my sentiments to words exactly.

Excerpt that I typed up to send a friend awhile back:

?"I look at the kind sonographer's smiling, hopeful face. She's seen things go wrong that I can't begin to imagine. She possibly even understands that I don't want to know only the sex. I want to know everything. And still, this woman's reassuring grin seems to say: "Don't worry. We'll take it step by step. Finding out the sex is just another step, a step you don't even have to take if you don't want to."

Nine months is so long to go without knowing as much as possible about someone who will eclipse almost everyone else in my in life in importance. I decide that I'd like to know what I can, even with the understanding that learning the sex is perhaps like knowing my child's blood type or hair color: a single piece of a gigantic puzzle, one I will spend the rest of my life putting together. Each piece is important, no one more or less than the other."

FinallyMrsBMW · August 2011

I never regretted finding out last time and I loved knowing that I had a little girl on the way.

This time I wanted to go team green for the surprise of delivery. I just wanted to be able to look forward to that moment. DH wants to know and he has won out on this one. I couldn't let DH keep that big of a secret without me knowing.

designer_wifey · August 2011

I can't say, b/c with DS we were Team Green. This time around, we plan on finding out though. I will say though, I thoroughly enjoyed not knowing and it was an amazing experience yelling "It's a BOY!"

addison_clark · August 2011

We found out with my first. It was good to plan and prepare. We decided to not find out with our second bc it kept things "new". It made the pregnancy different from the first. Plus all our friends and family were super excited to hear our announcement when she was born. I still ended up doing a pink nursery for her after she was born (I don't like gender neutral decor)

We plan to be team green again this time around bc it was so fun to keep guessing the whole time.

CplusJ=S · August 2011

TheMutleys:
Zero regrets. I read an article in one of those stupid free baby magazines that you get by the truckload that put my sentiments to words exactly.
Excerpt that I typed up to send a friend awhile back:

?"I look at the kind sonographer's smiling, hopeful face. She's seen things go wrong that I can't begin to imagine. She possibly even understands that I don't want to know only the sex. I want to know everything. And still, this woman's reassuring grin seems to say: "Don't worry. We'll take it step by step. Finding out the sex is just another step, a step you don't even have to take if you don't want to."

Nine months is so long to go without knowing as much as possible about someone who will eclipse almost everyone else in my in life in importance. I decide that I'd like to know what I can, even with the understanding that learning the sex is perhaps like knowing my child's blood type or hair color: a single piece of a gigantic puzzle, one I will spend the rest of my life putting together. Each piece is important, no one more or less than the other."

That's actually quite profound and beautiful for coming from a free pregnancy magazine. This is our first pregnancy. I wanted to be team green at first and DH has wanted to know since day one. I have since come around and we have decided to find out.

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