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1st Trimester
jess0884
member
Help during deployment...
jess0884
member
I found out I was pregnant about a month and a half before my boyfriend left for deployment. I was wondering if anyone has any experience with dealing with pregnancy while daddies are deployed. I could use all the help I can get. Thank you very much and happy pregnancies!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Help during deployment...
Girl, I got you! I'm the leader of my husband's spouse support group (FRG). I've been through 3 deployments so far.
Step 1 - Don't take this the wrong way but you're gonna want to make that man marry you. You have no legal rights to any of his deployment info (or, heaven forbid, his life insurance) unles you do. Also, you'll get free healthcare for you and the baby (TriCare). You don't pay a dime for anything - no copays, no lab costs, no delivery fee.. nothing!
Also, he will get WAAAY more pay if he's married. Its called separation pay and it will definitely help you pay for the things you and your baby need. You also qualify for BAH (basic allowance for housing) which varies from state to state and depends on his rank, time in service and how many dependents he has. Example - We live in Kansas, my husband is E-5 and has been in for 9 years. Our BAH is $1,200/ month. In lieu of BAH you can qualify for free on post housing.
There's ALOT more I can help you with so just send me an e-mail (princessjesci@yahoo.com) I'm more than happy to help.
Best Wishes!
Thank you so much for writing back. Please don't take this the wrong way but, I do not want to get married just because we are having a baby. He did that earlier in his life and it resulted in a divorce. The healthcare does not bother me because I get great coverage through my employer. And the housing allowance doesn't really bother us either because we will only be in the states for another year after he gets back from his deployment. We do have plans on getting married but those are in the future. One step at a time for us. Some people think I'm naive for not wanting to get married because of this miracle but I do not want to rush into any more than we already have! I will definitly keep your e-mail and again, thank you so much for responding. It's nice to know there are others that have been in the same situation I find myself in. Thank you so very much and congratulations on your pregnancy.
Jess, same here, my husband will deployed for most of my pregnancy as well. In addition to the emotional stress of him being gone, there are a lot of military type things that you'll need to know.
Since you aren't planning on getting married yet (or, even if you were), you'll need a special power of attorney for when the baby is born. Within 60 days of the baby's birth, you'll need to go to the DEERS (dependent enrollment something) office on base. If the service member isn't going with you to enroll the baby, you'll need power of attorney for this.
I would also highly recommend getting involved in the unit's family readiness liaison. That way, you can generally get updates on the unit, and she'll have an inside track on learning to communicate with the unit. They will also let you know about benefits, like free layette items, 10 hours free childcare a month while SO is deployed, home visits from a nurse, and other great services.
Hope this helps, ask any questions on here. A lot of women on here have military experience.
First off congrats on your pg! I am pg with my first so I can't share experiences or advice with pg during deployment. But like you I was wasn't married at the time of DH deployment and even though all of our friends said we were crazy for not doing so I was dead set against it. Yeah the money is nice, yeah having rights and power of attorney makes things easier but my biggest advice is to hold out.
Don't rush into anything. If its still meant to be after he is back than great! You can take your time and plan the wedding that you really want vs trying to get it done before he leaves. What I would do is create a support network now. Other spouses in the same unit, family you know you can rely on.
You will be fine and GL!
Make a pregnancy ticker
DH got back late November from a 6 mth deployment, and we just got our BFP yesterday! It's still early, but if this baby sticks, my DH is going to be deployed for much of the pregnancy. His boat may also be in a different state for some extended work around our due date, which means he will either need to get leave for then or be a number of hours away and come as quickly as possible! That's the thing you learn when you're a military wife -- you can't plan anything. Hopefully your BF can be there for the birth. DH has been in the Navy for 9 years now, and they do everything they can to get their guys home for their firstborn child. For children after that, they try hard. But there are no guarantees, and he's on a submarine which makes things harder. I'm prepared to do this alone if I have to, not that I want to. But I know he will want to be here more than anything, and I'm in his thoughts.
Rally with your family and old friends-- you'll need them through this PG, the birth, and what comes afterward. All of my family members are in Canada and the UK, but I know my dad, mom, or siblings would be on a plane in a minute if I needed them, which is reassuring. Also, make contacts with other wives in your BF's division. We have some girlfriends on our boat that are not technically involved in activities, but we wives try to include them when we can and on whatever information we can, and make sure they have a support system. Definitely get power of attorney or whatever you need to make sure you are advised about schedules, etc. Otherwise you are not actually supposed to be told anything about operations or schedules.