Postpartum Depression
clangley09
member
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How quickly...
clangley09
member
did your PPD come up? From birth (Aug 2nd) until about a week and a half ago I had never felt better in my life. Starting last week I began feeling extremely overprotective of my daughter. I have irrational fears that even DH would do something to hurt her. I think of strangers coming in my house and hurting her. I'm content with staying cooped up inside with her forever and don't want to "share" her with anyone BUT I also feel that numbness towards her. I can say I love her but I don't feel it. Starting last night I became sleepless. It all began with my normal evening headache. DH took DD so I could lay down and rest. I slept for an hour when DH came in and gave me DD so he could get a shower. Once he got out he told me he forgot to give her medicine.(She has reflux and her medicine literally only lasts until right before her bedtime bottle and the same for her second morning bottle.Otherwise, she's a screaming mess.) This set me off. One hour of someone else caring for her and he forgot to give her medicine. Now I feel like I'm the only one who can care for her the right way, but I only go through the motions. So last night began the crying, I slept maybe 2 hours, I kept getting up and cleaning. By 6 am I had 2 loads of laundry done, I had emptied the dishwasher and while emptying the dishwasher I realized I needed to organize a couple drawers & clean out our cup/glass cabinent and clean and sterilize her bottles.So I finally admitted to myself that something was wrong (after DH got up and asked me what was wrong because I was acting strange to him ) but I wasn't sure if it was PPD or if I'm just having a bad week. I couldn't even tell DH for embarrassment.I finally texted him shortly after he left for work and I told him that I felt like something was wrong. Did anyone else have an onset like this? I'm going to see my doctor this afternoon and I'm extremely anxious about it.
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Re: How quickly...
my experience wasn't like yours, but there are a LOT of different ways for PPD to manifest.
When I started questioning myself, I found this list:
https://postpartumprogress.org/2011/02/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety/
and went through it. There's a list for PPD and PPAnxiety and PP OCD. The second symptom it lists is "You feel like you have to be doing something at all times. Cleaning bottles. Cleaning baby clothes. Cleaning the house. Doing work. Entertaining the baby. Checking on the baby" (sounds like you!)
It may not be on the PPD spectrum, but it might be. Oh, I see you posted this yesterday... Did you go to the doctor? How was it?
I'm being treated for PPD. I was honestly terrified to even tell her that I felt like something was off but it feels so much better now that somebody else knows and I've admitted it. Now I just need help trying to explain PPD to DH. I talked to him last night about everything (which also felt good!) but when I was telling him that I had a fear of him doing something to DD he would respond "You know I would never do that.." and didn't understand that I have these irrational thoughts but I know he really wouldn't. He doesn't understand the concept that I have these thoughts but deep down I know better.
I really think we "caught" this before it got bad. Talking about it seems to help a lot. Ofcourse, I still have the same feelings but am on meds to help that out.