NBR: Can I vent about friends for a moment? (clicky!)

Mommysaurus123 · August 2011

I totally look like the bad guy to my friends right now. My friend A is leaving for 11 months tomorrow morning, so we decided yesterday with a work friend of ours that we would go out for a drink tonight to wish her bon voyage. We were going to meet in the work parking lot at 9:30 since other friend, Z, had to work, and then carpool over to the restaurant for an appetizer and a drink.

A texted this morning saying she needed to sleep and had to cancel. OK, fine. I was crazy busy today with errands and home improvement, so I never talked to Z about this. I figured, "if the girl who is going away can't make it, is there really a point to having a going away party? No." so I never checked with the other girl to make sure we were cancelling... it seemed pretty cut and dry to me.

Fast forward to 9:50 tonight, I get a text from A, saying "Please please please tell me you are at work right now." Indifferent Apparently, she only texted ME earlier to say she wasn't coming tonight... and this other girl had no idea. So I texted Z and asked if she had gotten the text earlier and she sent back some snappy comment... "She just left me a voicemail because I've been sitting in the parking lot like an idiot." So she is making me feel bad because she didn't get a text earlier this morning from someone else... and she never bothered to get in touch with me between 9:30 and 9:50 when A left her the message...

On the bright side, it just reaffirms in my mind that Z is a very negative person that I don't need to spend much time with in my life. She always brings me down and I hate that I can't be happy around her because it makes her whine even more. Seriously, I could tell her that my dog died, my husband left me, and my house burnt down all in the same day and she would find a way to still complain that her life is tougher than mine.

So yeah... I am at home in my robe and not feeling bad about it. It's not my job to text an RSVP for someone else when they could have done it themselves... and if you can't laugh off stupid "oops" moments, you are too high-strung for me. Sh!t goes wrong sometimes. Deal with it.

:::ok, vent over:::

[Poll]

kat81again2 · August 2011

btw, you didn't have "both" as an option. I would definitely be mad at the other friend. I would possibly be mad at you, too, but that part would basically be irrational anger (though it was a little hard to follow the story to be sure). It would REALLY suck to wait in a parking lot not knowing what the deal was and to have people cancel on you like that.

Sorry Z is such a negative person overall but yeah I think that it would suck not to know that everyone cancelled on you.

Rink08 · August 2011

My thought would be that if A txted you, why couldn't they just send it to both of you. I wouldn't be mad at you .

jillybean800 · August 2011

I replied SS, because I certainly would be annoyed and would probably even vent to my hubby when I got home, but I would understand that it was a miscommunication. More annoyed than mad, and I would get over it pretty quickly.

Cheekers2010 · August 2011

I said I wouldn't be mad at either because I'm pretty laid back about stuff like this. However, if I was going to be aggravated at anyone it would be friend a. She should have texted you both.

Mommysaurus123 · August 2011

kat81again2:

btw, you didn't have "both" as an option. I would definitely be mad at the other friend. I would possibly be mad at you, too, but that part would basically be irrational anger (though it was a little hard to follow the story to be sure). It would REALLY suck to wait in a parking lot not knowing what the deal was and to have people cancel on you like that.

Sorry Z is such a negative person overall but yeah I think that it would suck not to know that everyone cancelled on you.

Good call. I wasn't even thinking of "both" as an option. I know I could have texted Z to make sure she knew the plan, but I just assumed A had texted both of us at the same time when she cancelled since it takes about .5 seconds to add one more person to the recipient list.

lulu8109 · August 2011

I voted SS. If it was a pattern, I'd probably be mad. But if it was just a one-off, then I'd be annoyed at both of you, but get over it. It's annoying to think you have plans and then be stood up. I'm not saying you were responsible for telling your other friend that friend A bailed, but I would just be annoyed at the whole situation.

It also sounds like your other friend is just a grump and anything would have pissed her off.

kat81again2 · August 2011

Mommysaurus123:
kat81again2:

btw, you didn't have "both" as an option. I would definitely be mad at the other friend. I would possibly be mad at you, too, but that part would basically be irrational anger (though it was a little hard to follow the story to be sure). It would REALLY suck to wait in a parking lot not knowing what the deal was and to have people cancel on you like that.

Sorry Z is such a negative person overall but yeah I think that it would suck not to know that everyone cancelled on you.

Good call. I wasn't even thinking of "both" as an option. I know I could have texted Z to make sure she knew the plan, but I just assumed A had texted both of us at the same time when she cancelled since it takes about .5 seconds to add one more person to the recipient list.

OK I know this is a day old now and you probably won't read it but I figured I'd say yes, I agree, it I would have assumed the cancellation went to two people because it's weird to text one and not the other. And texts don't tell you who else was texted (unlike e-mail).

Mommysaurus123 · August 2011

kat81again2:
Mommysaurus123:
kat81again2:

btw, you didn't have "both" as an option. I would definitely be mad at the other friend. I would possibly be mad at you, too, but that part would basically be irrational anger (though it was a little hard to follow the story to be sure). It would REALLY suck to wait in a parking lot not knowing what the deal was and to have people cancel on you like that.

Sorry Z is such a negative person overall but yeah I think that it would suck not to know that everyone cancelled on you.

Good call. I wasn't even thinking of "both" as an option. I know I could have texted Z to make sure she knew the plan, but I just assumed A had texted both of us at the same time when she cancelled since it takes about .5 seconds to add one more person to the recipient list.

OK I know this is a day old now and you probably won't read it but I figured I'd say yes, I agree, it I would have assumed the cancellation went to two people because it's weird to text one and not the other. And texts don't tell you who else was texted (unlike e-mail).

I read it! I totally agree with PP that I'd be annoyed, but not mad. A just sent a facebook message this morning saying she is so sorry and she hopes we can forgive her, which makes it seem to me like Z was really rude about it yesterday. It was definitely a one-time thing that was planned barely 24 hours in advance, so when stuff like that gets cancelled I totally understand. I feel bad for Z, but still... no reason to make someone think they need to be forgiven for a stupid miscommunication.

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