Baby Showers
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IHO Meet the baby parties
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Did anyone actually do this?
I just ask because I can't imagine throwing a party and passing my baby around weeks after having him. I did host his baptism 6 weeks after he was born and that was exhausting and nerve-wracking.
The next meet the baby party was held out of state when he was 6 months old. I could let him go a little easier by that point.
Just wondering what the norm is for people who actually throw these parties.
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Re: IHO Meet the baby parties
I've wondered the same thing, to be honest. I put this idea out as an option instead of a shower, but in reality .... I've never known anyone to throw one.
when DS was 5 days old, we invited friends to come over to see him, but it wasn't a "party" by any stretch of the imagination. It was only done in order to control when people came over. I'd rather a few people come between (lets say) 12 and 3 than have people calling and wanting to come over all throughout the day.
And I also have to fess up that I find this new trend almost AWish. Yes, having a baby is exciting, yes, we want to show the baby off, yes, when friends have a baby I want to go see the baby - etc etc etc. But there is something about having a full-fledged party around it that just sits a little wrong with me.
I feel like "we" are finding every excuse in the book now to throw parties. Weddings now involve engagement parties, bachelorette parties, and showers- and then the WEDDING itself. now babies are becoming about showers, often multiple showers, and NOW we're adding on Meet the Baby parties.
All these life events don't need to be surrounded w/ a ton of parties to celebrate how wonderful we are.....
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Me? No. Hellz no.
My aunt brought her 2 week old baby along to my baby shower. The baby was passed around for 3 hours straight. Does that count?
This was in February (during flu season) and there were other small children there. Six kids under the age of 5, in addition to the baby. And my aunt wonders why the baby got sick. Der.
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
And to add - I can at least understand a "Meet the Baby" party where here is a BABY to meet. There is a specific purpose to the party.
Where you REALLY lose me is these people who want to throw a party before the baby is born that isn't a shower and they dont' want gifts, but they want to get all their friends together to celebrate!!!
Um... o.k. THIS is where it takes the AW turn for me. O.k.... so we're all going to get together and stare at your belly and marvel that you and your DH had sex (in most cases) and were able to pro-create....????
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
ECB, I feel like I quote you all the time.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Both parts.
http://pandce.****/index.cgi#general
Well I had my shower after the baby was born, but I didn't throw it and it was the only shower I had. Here baby showers are pretty much 100% after baby is born, so while technically not a meet the baby party, the baby is definately there! I had mine at 3 weeks and I was ok passing her around while I opened gifts, but my mom kept close eye on who had her and how she was doing during that time and when she saw that my daughter was "done" she went and took her for the rest of the evening.
I wouldn't want to host anything myself that soon after delievery though so I will not be doing my own meet the baby this time! If people want to meet him/her, they can see us in church or call and come over.... that's enough for me!
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I think we actually are going to have a meet the baby party. This is not a shower. I am being thrown a traditional shower before the baby is born. The food and beverages will be provided by us and no gifts are expected. The reasons why it makes sense to me?
1. It will be 10 long months since I have been able to kick back and enjoy myself. I will be ready for party!
2. With alllll of the family that is going to be wanted to come over to our home whenever it is convenient for THEM to see the baby my answer can be, "Oh, just wait a little bit. We are having a meet the baby party." Clean the house one time, prepare food one time, deal with everyone one time! Done!
Alot of these Meet the Baby parties I have heard about have been done with adoptive parents. Instead of having a shower before the baby (never know what will happen). They are waiting until they go to court or after the time frame in which the birth parents have to change their minds.
MIL threw me a "Meet the Baby" shower 6 weeks after DD was born. She decided to do this, because FIL's family lives about 2 hours south of her and they don't get to see them often. We live about an hour north of in laws, and see FIL's family even less. We didn't get a chance to see one of his cousin's babies until he was 6 months old. It wasn't huge so I was comfortable letting people hold the baby. It was DH's immediate family, his grandma, some aunts uncles and cousins (about 10 people total) and 3 couples that are really good friends with the family. And not everyone was there at once so that was even better.
It's my answer to people who throw back in my face about how soul-sucking I am about not celebrating their little precious bundle of joy. Would I have one? Well, I kind of did, it was called Christmas. However, I'd probably not do one set party with 20 people, but do an open house day and let people come and go.
Ditto on the gender reveal parties...gag. I said it before here somewhere, but at that party, we are literally celebrating your new baby's penis or vagina. Seriously. It's one thing to go to a shower, celebrating the new mom/new baby and saying "It's a girl!!". Focus at a shower goes New Mom > Baby > Baby's junk. Gender reveal parties are Baby's Junk > food > awkwardness.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
We did and really if my memory serves me right only 3-4 people held him (and one was my mom). He was 4 weeks old. People came over to whoever was holding him and ohhed and ahhed but never asked to hold him or even tried to touch him. I mean really...people know you have a newborn and I think most people appreciate you don't want him passed around like a football.
BTW...I've also hosted 2 baby showers after the LO's were born and it was never an issue. While the new mom opened gifts the grandma held the baby. I think at one the new mom's sister held her LO the majority of the time.
Hahahahaha. This is funny. Come back and see us after you have the baby.
Seriously, I wonder how many people say that they're going to do this Meet the Baby party, then they have a complicated labor or even just plain regular labor, a rough recovery, a baby not sleeping through the night, etc. We did the baptism at 6 weeks and that was rough. At 6 weeks, I was only just able to walk up and down the stairs without pain.
While I'm being a little sarcastic in this post, MTB's don't really bug me all that much because there is a purpose - to MEET the new baby.
I do throw a side eye at the "I just want to celebrate my pregnancy so we're going to throw a non-gift BBQ before the baby is here". THAT to me is VERY AWish. And now that it's becoming more of a "thing", it just brings to light all these different excuses people are finding to have numerous parties for themselves. At some point, it becomes too much.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Seriously. I lost bladder function as a complication. I was still self-catheterizing 3 weeks after birth, every 3 hours. No way would I have made a good hostess.
I could finally sit down straight and without easing myself down after about 6 weeks. And I didn't even tear that bad.
You just never know what will happen!
That was not my personal experience.
Quite honestly, I found most people who stopped by to be very grabby with DS.
Oh, you are right. Boston is not a very diverse city. My bad.
And a shower isn't hosted by the parents, so that isn't what I am talking about. I am talking about a meet the baby party- which most on this forum are suggested to throw themselves after the baby is born.
Well you can live in a very diverse area I suppose but not have association with people from other cultures I suppose. That is more for the showers that are hosted after LO's are born which I guess this post is not about.
As for "meet the baby parties"...yes they are mostly thrown by the parents (although I have helped host a couple for others because the mom's just weren't up to it). It is very common where I live (and where I used to live). We hosted a BBQ/Meet the Baby Party (we have an annual BBQ and since it was the same time frame - a month after our DS was born) it worked out well for us. Almost all of our relatives live 1 1/2 - 3 hours away (and almost always come to our BBQ) so it just made sense. It is just a big party and everyone sees the baby (usually for the first time - until a major holiday rolls around).