sometimes I work with crazy people - VENT Long

kylayton · August 2011

Let me preface this by saying I know a lot of you hate vents, but I enjoy reading them and just HAVE to get this off my chest.

I work as a leasing agent for a large mixed-use apartment community. This morning was very hectic as we seem to have a lot of "fires" to put out after being closed for the weekend.

While I was working with a resident, a future resident (had reserved an apartment, but had yet to move in) walks in. This man has come in several times and is known by the staff as being a joker. He said to me, "I'm here to pick up my check. My brother and I are not moving in." In my head I was thinking...okay he's joking with me. He said he spoke with another leasing agent, and she said to come pick up his check. At this point I just "knew" he was joking because 1) we had held his apartment for weeks and the holding fee is non-refundable after 72 hours, 2) no one had mentioned to me that he was cancelling, 3) his mouth kept twitching and I thought he was holding back a smile. In a very friendly voice I said, "are you joking with me?" He then said, "my brother died." I said very seriously, oh you're kidding. (In my head I was hoping he was kidding. I feel bad for anyone who loses a brother.) To which he flew off the handle at and yelled "WHY WOULD I JOKE ABOUT THAT?!"

At this point my mom, who is the assistant manager, came out of her office and shuffled him into hers to continue the conversation. Shaken, I went back to the resident I was previously helping. He continues to YELL at my mom who was only trying to help him. Basically he just wanted his money back, which is fine, but we don't cut checks in our office. They are all submitted through corporate and it takes 2-4 weeks. He yells and screams at my mom and the manager for a good 20 minutes.

As he is leaving, he gets right in my face, points his finger at me and says, "AND YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE! HOW TERRIBLE TO SAY I WAS JOKING ABOUT MY BROTHER DYING" I was apologetic at this point but felt like I needed to explain to him WHY I thought he was joking. He wouldn't listen to me and just stormed out. Clearly between the 2 of us, I am the one who needs to learn how to deal with people. As he was leaving, a prospect was walking in to reserve an apartment. He said jokingly, "wow maybe I don't want to rent here." I felt like I was going to burst into tears. What a great way to start off the week!

Ricola · August 2011

I am sorry but latest at the point where he said that his brother had died you should have gotten more professional. Saying "You are joking" is not an appropriate answer at all. He yelled at you for very good reason. I would have lost it if I were him.

L8ebugs · August 2011

Ricola:
I am sorry but latest at the point where he said that his brother had died you should have gotten more professional. Saying "You are joking" is not an appropriate answer at all. He yelled at you for very good reason. I would have lost it if I were him.

This. Even if you have experience with an individual who likes to crack jokes, as soon as he said his brother had died your very first response should have been "I'm very sorry for your loss." If he had been joking then you would have had to just let the joke be on you this once, but why in the world would anyone ever joke about the death of a family member? especially with someone they don't know very well? Because it's just NOT funny.

That being said, I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience at work. I hope the rest of your week is less stressful.

kylayton · August 2011

You would have flown off the handle? I realize now that I chose the total wrong words, but I was still 99% sure he was joking. I was hoping he was. I know he was far more in the wrong than I was seeing as he continued to scream at everyone else in the office. There were a million better ways he could have handled my comment.

kylayton · August 2011

L8ebugs:
Ricola:
I am sorry but latest at the point where he said that his brother had died you should have gotten more professional. Saying "You are joking" is not an appropriate answer at all. He yelled at you for very good reason. I would have lost it if I were him.

This. Even if you have experience with an individual who likes to crack jokes, as soon as he said his brother had died your very first response should have been "I'm very sorry for your loss." If he had been joking then you would have had to just let the joke be on you this once, but why in the world would anyone ever joke about the death of a family member? especially with someone they don't know very well? Because it's just NOT funny.

That being said, I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience at work. I hope the rest of your week is less stressful.

I understand what you're saying. Maybe I am not portraying properly how I said, "you are kidding." Oh well. Lost in translation!

kylayton · August 2011

I should have also mentioned that on Friday he had another girl going for 5 minutes over a joke when he finally cracked and said he was just kidding. I just don't think yelling/screaming at someone is the proper way to handle a situation even if they were being insensitive, which I wasn't.

mintyblue02 · August 2011

I wouldn't take it too hard. I don't think you did anything wrong. You were just trying to do your job and get information. You never expect someone to hit you with news like that out of the blue and its not something everyone has a great standard response for. It was a confusing situation for him and you and he was obviously very emotional. But I don't care what happens in people's lives I can not tolerate yellers and screamers. There is no excuse for that in my book. Just take a deep breath and move on.

kylayton · August 2011

mintyblue02:
I wouldn't take it too hard. I don't think you did anything wrong. You were just trying to do your job and get information. You never expect someone to hit you with news like that out of the blue and its not something everyone has a great standard response for. It was a confusing situation for him and you and he was obviously very emotional. But I don't care what happens in people's lives I can not tolerate yellers and screamers. There is no excuse for that in my book. Just take a deep breath and move on.

ITA.

lilwildthing · August 2011

Sorry your day was so crumby! I don't know how I would have responded in that situation.

Ricola · August 2011

kylayton:
You would have flown off the handle? I realize now that I chose the total wrong words, but I was still 99% sure he was joking. I was hoping he was. I know he was far more in the wrong than I was seeing as he continued to scream at everyone else in the office. There were a million better ways he could have handled my comment.

No, you were definitely far more in the wrong, not that it matters. You were at your job, talking to him as a professional, not as his friend. The standard response when someone tells you that a close relative recently died is "I am sorry for your loss". Not "You are kidding". It is not his fault that there seems to be a lack of communication going on in your office. His emotions were obviously all over the place, since he had just lost his brother. Someone telling me that I must be kidding when my brother just died would make me yell at that person and everyone who tries to tell me they were right in doing that, yes. And I am not a yeller and hat them as much as you do. But you really acted very unprofessional and then have the nerve to vent about him.

kylayton · August 2011

Ricola:
kylayton:
You would have flown off the handle? I realize now that I chose the total wrong words, but I was still 99% sure he was joking. I was hoping he was. I know he was far more in the wrong than I was seeing as he continued to scream at everyone else in the office. There were a million better ways he could have handled my comment.
No, you were definitely far more in the wrong, not that it matters. You were at your job, talking to him as a professional, not as his friend. The standard response when someone tells you that a close relative recently died is "I am sorry for your loss". Not "You are kidding". It is not his fault that there seems to be a lack of communication going on in your office. His emotions were obviously all over the place, since he had just lost his brother. Someone telling me that I must be kidding when my brother just died would make me yell at that person and everyone who tries to tell me they were right in doing that, yes. And I am not a yeller and hat them as much as you do. But you really acted very unprofessional and then have the nerve to vent about him.

Like I said, obviously there is a lot lost in translation. You're always busting peoples balls on vent posts.

Ricola · August 2011

kylayton:
Like I said, obviously there is a lot lost in translation. You're always busting peoples balls on vent posts.

Oh sorry.

You are right, what a mean guy to come in and yell at you for such a small thing that just happens. He should totally get it together and send you some flowers to apologize.

Better?

Belichick · August 2011

Ricola:

kylayton:
You would have flown off the handle? I realize now that I chose the total wrong words, but I was still 99% sure he was joking. I was hoping he was. I know he was far more in the wrong than I was seeing as he continued to scream at everyone else in the office. There were a million better ways he could have handled my comment.

No, you were definitely far more in the wrong, not that it matters. You were at your job, talking to him as a professional, not as his friend. The standard response when someone tells you that a close relative recently died is "I am sorry for your loss". Not "You are kidding". It is not his fault that there seems to be a lack of communication going on in your office. His emotions were obviously all over the place, since he had just lost his brother. Someone telling me that I must be kidding when my brother just died would make me yell at that person and everyone who tries to tell me they were right in doing that, yes. And I am not a yeller and hat them as much as you do. But you really acted very unprofessional and then have the nerve to vent about him.

ITA!

Kylayton- my biggest problem with your post and responses is that you do not seem sorry at all. You really seem to believe that his yelling negates anything you did wrong.

Yes, he was wrong to react in such an extreme manor, but being fortunate enough to have never lost someone that close to me, I can't say whether or not I would react the same way given your response to him.

You were completely wrong and unprofessional to accuse him of joking about something so serious. It's sad that you can't see that and extend some empathy to a man that just lost his brother.

kylayton · August 2011

Belichick:
Ricola:

kylayton:
You would have flown off the handle? I realize now that I chose the total wrong words, but I was still 99% sure he was joking. I was hoping he was. I know he was far more in the wrong than I was seeing as he continued to scream at everyone else in the office. There were a million better ways he could have handled my comment.

No, you were definitely far more in the wrong, not that it matters. You were at your job, talking to him as a professional, not as his friend. The standard response when someone tells you that a close relative recently died is "I am sorry for your loss". Not "You are kidding". It is not his fault that there seems to be a lack of communication going on in your office. His emotions were obviously all over the place, since he had just lost his brother. Someone telling me that I must be kidding when my brother just died would make me yell at that person and everyone who tries to tell me they were right in doing that, yes. And I am not a yeller and hat them as much as you do. But you really acted very unprofessional and then have the nerve to vent about him.

ITA!

Kylayton- my biggest problem with your post and responses is that you do not seem sorry at all. You really seem to believe that his yelling negates anything you did wrong.

Yes, he was wrong to react in such an extreme manor, but being fortunate enough to have never lost someone that close to me, I can't say whether or not I would react the same way given your response to him.

You were completely wrong and unprofessional to accuse him of joking about something so serious. It's sad that you can't see that and extend some empathy to a man that just lost his brother.

I agree that I chose the wrong words. It's hard to explain the way I said, "you are kidding." I can't justify it. Like a PP said, that's a hard situation to know how to respond to. I should never assume someone is joking about anything ever and that's where I went wrong. It's MY opinion that he would have yelled and screamed no matter what, seeing as all he wanted was his money. I just don't think his response was proper. He yelled at everyone, not just me. I wanted to apologize and he didn't give me a chance.

kylayton · August 2011

Ricola:
kylayton:
Like I said, obviously there is a lot lost in translation. You're always busting peoples balls on vent posts.
Oh sorry.
You are right, what a mean guy to come in and yell at you for such a small thing that just happens. He should totally get it together and send you some flowers to apologize.
Better?

Yes! It was just an unfortunate happening overall. Agree to disagree?

Ricola · August 2011

kylayton:
Ricola:
kylayton:
Like I said, obviously there is a lot lost in translation. You're always busting peoples balls on vent posts.
Oh sorry.
You are right, what a mean guy to come in and yell at you for such a small thing that just happens. He should totally get it together and send you some flowers to apologize.
Better?
Yes! It was just an unfortunate happening overall. Agree to disagree?

I always agree to disagree since I am not one to push my opinion onto other people.

However, if you don't want to hear opinions that are different than yours, don't post on an internet message board. I will continue to give my honest opinion.

kylayton · August 2011

Ricola:
kylayton:
Ricola:
kylayton:
Like I said, obviously there is a lot lost in translation. You're always busting peoples balls on vent posts.
Oh sorry.
You are right, what a mean guy to come in and yell at you for such a small thing that just happens. He should totally get it together and send you some flowers to apologize.
Better?
Yes! It was just an unfortunate happening overall. Agree to disagree?
I always agree to disagree since I am not one to push my opinion onto other people.
However, if you don't want to hear opinions that are different than yours, don't post on an internet message board. I will continue to give my honest opinion.

It didn't come across that you were expressing your opinion. It sounded like you thought I was awful when I already felt bad about what I had said. Lesson learned!

Ricola · August 2011

kylayton:
It didn't come across that you were expressing your opinion. It sounded like you thought I was awful when I already felt bad about what I had said. Lesson learned!

And maybe it was my opinion that I thought that your behavior/reaction towards the guy whose brother just passed away was awful. Just sayin'.

missyscadoo · August 2011

I hope that the rest of your week goes MUCH better than how it started. I think I understand what you mean by how you said "you're kidding" as more of a shocked tone I'm hoping. I'm sure from now on even if that is your reaction it will quickly be followed by an I'm so sorry for your loss if not completely replaced by it. I agree that no matter what the man would have been yelling at someone over something. I have lost a few people really close to me and sometimes you end up blowing over things like that because you are angry about the death not at the people. I'm sorry he went off on you and I also enjoy reading vents (cause it makes me not feel so crazy or like I'm the only one who gets upset about things). I also post them sometimes and I think that this is a great outlet for it because people give you their honest opinion without you having to spread whatever is going on with other people in your life (I don't like to vent to family or friends about each other b/c it can just make things awkward later when I want everybody to attend something like a shower.

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sometimes I work with crazy people - VENT Long

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