I am almost 5 months PP, and I just don't know if it's become worse or what. I did have some depression before even becoming pregnant, and responded very well to meds. Well now I don't think I'm responding well at all to them and my anxiety is so much worse. My mom seems to think that it's just my life circumstances right now (we are having to deal with a LOT - husband became disabled and is now unemployed, my grandfather died suddenly this month, just found out DD had some serious health issues, everything is breaking - AC, both cars broke down this week, and found out that my job is changing drastically, and don't know how long I will actually have a job, and general job related stress).
But I just can't seem to get myself to calm down lately. And the smallest things set me off. I got so upset last night when I couldn't cut some bread right. It just crumbled in my hands and I lost it.
I would NEVER hurt DD, myself, or my husband. But I am scared that there will be a point where I cannot control my anger. Last night after the bread incident I went and layed down in the bedroom and took a "time out" for a few hours to sleep off my anger. But I won't always have that luxury, especially at work.
It's causing a lot of problems between DH and I because well...you probably wouldn't want to be around an angry person like me all the time either. I don't want it to destroy our relationship, but I feel it is.
I just don't know where to go from here. I need to work, I am the only one supporting our family, but I am fearful that I will have a breakdown any time now. I am just so lost, frustrated, and angry.
What worked for you? I know I need to talk to my doctor, but I'm so afraid I am going to lose my job I can't even take any time off to go see the doc (I used up my paid time off when DD was hospitalized earlier in the month). Is this PPD or is my mom right with it being too late?