Disclaimer: I have an extraordinarily agreeable newborn. She has STTN since 2 months old (Im talking 9pm to 8am) and she is fairly self-satisfied and happy most of the time.
That being said, unless she was the colicky baby from hell, I don't think it would ever reconcile as being the horrible experience some make the newborn phase out to be. Its crazy, exhausting and time consuming. Its a big lifestyle change. But I get out. I take naps. I get stuff done. I have from 9pm on to hang with DH and do all the stuff we did before we had a baby (when he isn't still at work, of course). To be honest with you, I have had quarter ends that were much more exhausting and grueling than this newborn business (and a lot less rewarding to boot).
Now I know once she's crawling and walking, I have entered a whole new zone of crazy, but still, I can't imagine its nearly as bad as people made it out to be.
Is it because she's so awesome, or is this horrifying nature of having a newborn overstated? Honestly, I was expecting the first 6 months to be joyful sometimes, but mostly a grind, and it really isn't that way...
Re: This newborn business
honestly- one thing i have learned in my 3+yrs of parenting. NEVER get cocky (not saying you are- cause that is a strong word... but you know what i mean)
You might have it easy now- but teething could be a royal b*tch, etc.
I say, just enjoy it while it lasts. Savor today- and go with the flow.
I have too been lucky- i have had two very easy newborns. Sure i was up in the middle of the night nursing, tired some times, etc. but nothing nearly what i was expecting.
However they have each had their own times that were challenging.
I promise Im not getting cocky.
In fact - I figure she will get me back at some point. Im just hoping its not in the teenage years when real harm can be done
I'm not supermom, and I have bad and trying days - I just feel like its not as bad as I was expecting, if that makes sense. There are so many wonderful things about having a baby, and I feel like most people (when you are pregnant, at least) focus on all the negative things associated with having kids.
If my husband knew I was saying this he would probably say I was bipolar. I have been complaining all day that I don't have time to study (exam on Tuesday - Business section) because of the baby, and here I am saying "baby? piece of cake!"
I distinctly remember thinking when Lilly was a baby (an easy baby) "wow, I cant imagine having a baby that cried for no reason!"
Fast forward to the first 6 weeks of the living hell that was Owen's first few weeks of life...colic to the extreme and the most difficult time in my life. Its sad bc I have very few pictures of that time and just remember it as being awful. He would scream for hours on end every single day for no reason at all.
Totally and completely depends on your kid.
i know- hence my cocky disclaimer !
Gisele had teething REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY bad- forver before the first tooth popped.
Chase. well as easy as he is- he is the mobile baby extraordinaire. He climbs, he walks, he is UBER daring and much too confident for an 11 month old mobile child. if I blink he is standing on my PC chair reaching up for whatever is on my PC desk. (much like naturelle's Owen)
I also get out, take naps & get stuff done. I am loving life with my little baby. I seriously thank God often that I did not have the complication of PPD. I have had anxiety issues, but not depression. I don't think I could have handled PPD combined w/ my father passing in June. I feel extremely lucky to have Mackenzie and extremely lucky that she doesn't have colick and that we are both able to fall asleep again quickly after night time feedings. It is not as hard as people made it out to be when I was pregnant, but like Stacey said, I don't want to get too confident and be blown out of the water by our first hard stage. Right now, I am dealing with so much sadness over losing my father and Mackenzie is bringing me so much comfort and happiness that I wouldn't be experiencing otherwise.
I guess we will see how the crawling & walking stages go. Mackenzie is scooting now, so I don't have long to go to find out. :-)
I do think people seem to only tell you the negative when you are pregnant but it also completely depends on your kid. Also, there will be tough times so enjoy the easy wonderful stage now.
DS was a good sleeper and very laid back newborn. He was a preemie which had its challenges(mostly feeding) but overall he was an easy baby. He had some major sleep issues at 2 though. He is also a very picky eater and always has been.
DD had colic from birth to 11weeks. She cried from 8p-1a every single day. It was horrible. I could not BF her and she could not tolerate regular formula. But at about 4 months, she STTN(8-8), was a great napper, and rarely cried. She has always been a good eater and eats a lot of different foods(unlike DS).
Haha, I know a few moms who claim this experience. :-)
My experience has been very similar to yours, EJ.
And yes, people focus on the negative when you are pregnant - and honestly, I think a lot of people tend to focus on the negative throughout the duration of parenting.
This, I think, was my main point. Not that I have it all figured out and this is all easy, breezy mac&cheesy, but that people make parenthood sound like a death sentence (not you ladies - you are all pretty happy and well-adjusted), and it just isn't. Its tough, but dang it, its mostly... AWESOME.
ITA. This also ties in with the line of thinking when people say "we wanted to have our kids close together to get it (the newborn/baby/toddler stage) over and done with". I don't get that. I'm thouroughly enjoying every stage (good and bad) and want to STOP time.
Agreed. I have found even my husband is guilty of this with other new parents. It's like he's trying to scare them and also simultaneously prove that we are awesome parents. LOL.
You have an easy baby (for now). You probably wouldn't be saying this if you didn't have an easy baby. I had one hard baby and one easy baby and I have seen the light lol.
DD was a freaking nightmare as a newborn. During the day, she wasn't happy to sit/lie by herself and she also wasn't happy being held. The only way to keep her from fussing was to put her in the rainforest bouncer and bounce it with your foot. We did this all.day.long. She didn't sleep at night and the first time we got 5 hours of (broken up) sleep we thought it was the greatest thing in the world. She didn't STTN until 8 months old. Life was pretty much hell and we prepared for this exact hell when DS arrived.
DS totally surprised us and was an angel. Slept great, was happy, hung out in the swing or bouncy chair during the day and just went with the flow. He was an easy baby and life was great. It was something we couldn't even comprehend was a possibilty until he arrived.
I really think it depends on what your baby's personality is. Having a newborn isn't overstated, for a LOT of people it is pure grueling. It sounds like you have gotten really lucky! Enjoy it!!
I agree with this on the sleep thing. It makes a huge difference. DS just started sleeping from about 7:30pm - 5am. Just started. See ticker for his age. And he doesn't do it every night, maybe 2 or 3 times a week. When this happens, I nurse him at 5am and he goes back to sleep till 6:30am. I am still exhausted but it is a huge improvement. Sleep affects quality of life so much. When I don't sleep, it is hard to care about much of anything. It has affected my marriage, eating habits, exercise routine, friendships, family relationships, and even my ability to interact with DS sometimes (I'd prefer to just sit and stare at a wall).
ETA: Oh yeah, and don't even get me started on naps! It is hell trying to get him to nap too. Other than the sleep issues, he is a very easy going, happy kid though. Oh and your little girl is beautiful
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Sounds wonderful that you're having such a great experience. I had the opposite. I had a very fussy (not colicky at all) DD#1 that didn't STTN until close to a year. I was sleep deprived and I do NOT function well without sleep.
I also find the newborn stage very boring. They don't really "do" anything. I much prefer walkers/toddlers and older kids. Much more interesting for me.
I'm not saying that it was grueling or hard in any way, but for me, without good sleep (and I lost 3 years of it between my kids not STTN and not taking bottles) I am horrible and my mood is horrible.
DD#2 and DS were super easy in terms of temperament, but then at that point, I had to deal with schlepping 2 (or 3) kids around and that brought in a whole other set of challenges.
To prove your point -- my parents tell me I was an easy baby. And that my younger brother was just as easy.
Ditto this. Both of my kids have been so easy as infants, and have remained easy. We had a tough patch with my oldest when he was cutting his 1 year molars, but that was only a couple of weeks of his life. I think age and toddlerhood brings a whole different set of challenges, but its still not something I would consider "hard".
I talked to a mom of 2u2 not too long ago who had a 10/11 year old, and she said it never got hard ever. I can always pray that's my experience.
I think how hard/easy it is depends a lot on your attitude. If you focus on the negatives, it's going to seem a whole lot harder. Not that there arent difficult babies out there who make life challenging, but your attitude plays into your feelings as well.
I agree that people tend to make it sound worse than it is. I have two DDs and one was colicky and the other is "easy". However, even with my colicky child I try to emphasize the positives, yeah it was difficult but I still enjoyed her and it wasn't horrible like some people make it seem.
I think it is human nature to remember the negatives more than the positives and a lot of people tend to way over exaggerate. I refer to it as the "poor me contest". I see it a lot on facebook also. It seems like some people feel the need to insist that they were dealt the worst deck. I have never really understood why people act this way, I guess it is to get sympathy. Maybe it is just me but I would rather have people be jealous of how easy they think I have it (even if I don't necessarily have it easy) then give me sympathy for how difficult my child is.
Not everyone replied this way. Some of us just ranted about our lack of sleep :P.
It may always be easy with your child and that's wonderful. Every child's different, though. I can already see major differences between our babies. Jackson was really hard from day 1 - He screamed, for hours, from Day 1 - The nurses would come in to check on him and ask if everything was alright. Um... "I don't know!"
DD slept the entire time we were in the hospital and was barely awake her first six weeks of life. Then colic hit. However, teething's been like - nothing for her and teething was horrendous for Jackson.
Everything's different!
It depends on the kid.
I think sleep is somewhat the deciding factor on whether a baby is easy or not. DS1 was up every two hours until 9 months and was a poor napper. Once he started sleeping better, he was a much easier kid. I became a much more positive parent when I was getter more than 4 hours of sleep a night.
DS2 was a great sleeper for an infant (or atleast in comparision to DS1), so I thought going from one kid to two was a breeze. DS2 got really sick last winter and was up at night all the time. Both kids seemed more difficult then.
I think as long as you as a parent can find the positives in each stage, you'll enjoy it all.
I think it's refreshing to people saying that newborns are challenging. Far too often people make it sound like newborns are easy peasy and if they aren't it's because you are doing something wrong.
I have a "challenging" newborn. She is a crier, she doesn't sleep well, she stopped nursing at 2 months just because, etc, etc, etc. I love my child, but she has been far more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I'm happy for the OP and others that have easy babies. I'm also happy that there are others that are willing to share their "horror" stories. It makes me and others like me feel much more normal and less like bad parents.
You're lucky and I envy you. In fact, I hope this next baby is like yours is. DS was colicky, had reflux, and food allergies, all which led to a terrible first year. Seriously, it was so hard I didn't want another. Ever. Obviously, that has changed now that he is a great toddler, aside from said sleep issues below.
I also hate you ( and I say that in the loving-est way possible) because your baby sttn so early. DS still doesn't always, and no matter what kind of sleep training we have done, or not done, it doesn't make one. damn. difference.
It takes all kinds to make the world go round
kumbaya
Well, lucky you. You are in the minority.
When my DD was a newborn, she was up every 2 hours for probably the first 4 mos. Never slept thru the night until she was 2 and is a crappy sleeper to this day.
That's fantastic. You should have another one right away!
Of course, if the next one wakes up at 11 pm, 1:30am, 3, 5 and 7am to eat and then naps for 20 minutes at a time ON you or while you're driving you might not have all that time to hang out with your husband and nap. But that won't happen because YOUR kids won't do that. lol
I also thought the newborn stage was easy as pie. I still do not understand how someone with a newborn cannot managed to take a shower or leave the house...but that was my experience. I was able to see friends, cook dinner, clean the house, and live a relatively normal life with a newborn. The toddler stage is significantly more difficult. However, I only have one child at this point and the universe has a way of teaching us all a lesson. I think I am destined for a high strung, stubborn child in my future.
Yikes. I really think you took me the wrong way entirely. I know Im lucky. Im also very aware a whole host of stressful/challenging things could be coming my way, be it with her or with another child.
I think a lot of people might of taken this post the wrong way - so I somewhat regret posting it. I really was more emphasizing how awful people make it out to be, when I have found it very rewarding in many ways. I had this expectation that my whole life would be over and it would be the bootcamp from hell for the first year or so, while in fact, I have never been happier.
I promise I wasn't trying to gloat about my baby or parenting skills. I mean, I think my baby is creating new types of awesome everyday, but I also know thats mom blinders, and other people aren't going to think so or want to hear about it. If it came across that way, I honestly am sorry.
I'm sorry you are feeling like you have to apologize!
I've recently realized the problem with message boards is that when you type something, you are saying it once. BUT, it gets read over and over and analyzed and dissected. And then people synthesize it with their opinions, thoughts, and experiences, and it gets interpreted in a completely different way than you initially meant when you said it...that one simple time.
I'm glad you are enjoying your time with your little girl and am confident that the experience and feelings will continue for you for years to come.