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April 2011 Moms
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Things are getting a little out of hand...
I think a while back someone posted either here or on 3-6 about Post Partum Anxiety. I've always been an anxious person...more of a worry wort. I used to worry about my dog (my first baby) and now I worry about her AND DD, but like X100.
Here are some examples: I can't get in the car without vividly imagining someone crashing into us and killing DD. If I'm home alone at night I get up at least 3 times to check the front door is locked so no one can break in the house during the night and snatch up the baby. My friend wants to bring her kids over but I don't want them to stop by because her son had an unexplained 105 fever earlier this week and if he somehow transfers an illness to my DD we wont be able to go to the doctor due to the weather/I've reached the deductable on my insurance so the cost of an emergency room visit would be more than we could afford. (This last one is going out of control because then I worry we won't be able to make our house payment and we'll loose our house and not be able to afford food on the table etc)
90% of my worries are totally irrational. I'm constantly feeling like I'm drowning and that I can't get to a comfortable place. How can I push past this feeling? I'm starting to drive my DH crazy with all of this. I don't want our marriage to suffer (it's not yet but I can imagine it would if I can't get over this). I know the problem is me but I don't know how to solve it.
I know this was long and I'm sure there is lots of eye rolling but any advice would be appreciated. If you worry like this, how do you get over it? How do you deal with these feelings?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Things are getting a little out of hand...
No eye-rolling here. Talk to your dr. Seriously.
It just sounds like normal PPA. And a LOT of PPD/PPA doesn't occur until 4 or 7 months pp. I began taking Zoloft (I'd never taken anything before) and it's helped me. A LOT. I just don't feel as anxious as I did. I know it's hard and the cycle of thoughts makes you worry even more, and the "worrying more makes you worry more" and on and on (lol). HTH
{{hugs}}
I have had these similar thoughts. Seriously - the car, the locks, everything. They have come and gone since DS was born. When I went back to work it was horrible. I was prescribed an anti-anxiety med by my OB... and I decided to wait and see if I can move forward without it. I gave myself a week. That was a month ago, and I while I have some paniced moments, it has gotten better.
With that said, if it would have gotten worse, I wasn't going to hesitate on those meds. It is a horrible feeling and not one that my DH fully understood either. I would strongly suggest talking to you doctor. Hopefully you will start to feel like "you" again soon.
duplicate post.
That baby is a doll!!
Definately find someone to talk to! It is huge that you can recognize that this is an issue.
A couple of years ago I went and stayed with my BF's family because she had to do an outpatient program. She had been having racing and irrational thoughts and was almost emotionally paralyzed because of it. She did end up having to be on meds because it was actually a chemical imbalance because of it.
She has changed a lot in her life but the meds have made the biggest difference. It has taken a while to find the right ones but she is so much better!
Goodluck!
No eye-rolling here. This is what the board is for--sharing your feelings and getting advice. PLEASE talk to your doctor. The only two women at my work who have kids (a biology professor and psychology professor) BOTH started taking anti-anxiety meds after having kids and are very open about it.
The biology prof is my best friend here and actually told me that her oldest daughter was a colicky baby and she used to just lose it and fantasize about throwing her out the window of their house... There was a place in my baby book for people to write "advice" to me, and she wrote basically that motherhood is HARD and the hardest part is that no one wants to talk about how hard it is.
You need to do that (which you're doing here), and you need to talk to a professional, too. If he/she recommends Zoloft or something similar, there's no shame in taking it. It's what you need to do.
Mac and cheese lover!
I think this is a common theme to any mother. We worry. Though, some have it worse than others. For me, I also get the vivid circumstances. When i'm filling up at the gas station, I imagine someone tossing a cigarette out and the tank catching on fire. I have two little ones, both in car seats, and i wonder if i will be able to get both out in time and run away before the big explosion.
So while i think it is normal, I think some people can be consumed more by their anxiety. I feel take time to clear my mind and breathe helps. I don't know if you are a religious person, I am (though I should be practicing more) so sometimes just a little prayer helps me. It could be anywhere from protecting my family or even just "please God, help me not to have these terrible thoughts."
Take it or leave it. I'm not telling you to pray, but just voicing what i do in those times.
I have irrational anxiety as well. Thoughts that DH is going to die and leave DD and me alone forever. I also have thoughts of the world ending now since I have a baby to share my future with.
I have talked to a doctor about this (I am a Nurse Practitioner in a clinic) and she said that it is perfectly normal to have some PPA! IF you feel like it something you can't live with then go talk to someone! I feel talking with my mom and co-workers who have been in the same situation helps me! Knowing I am not alone and it is common.
I also check the locks on the doors and windows! If DH isn't home I freak out a bit!
Pills help, but not the kind you think, at least not in my case....I have thyroid issues and when it dips low I gets spurts of depression. I know when I get to feeling that way it's time to go to the doctor and get me levels checked. He even told me if I get really bad to just pop another 1/4 pill, 1/2 pill so that I can get evened out.
In the meantime, here's one of my freak-outs my husband thought was just hysterical: The other day I was watching the news and saw something about a car crash...of course that got me thinking...What happens if DS is driving down the road 18 years in the future and gets in a car crash??!!!!
Thank you for posting this.. I worry constantly and I definitely let my imagination run wild, then it makes me sick to my stomach and almost break down crying. I have to leave DD with a nanny during the day. I trust the nanny and I know she loves DD and would never hurt her or intentionally let anything happen to her but I refuse to let her drive with her anywhere (even though the family we share her with encourages it). I also often "imagine" someone coming up to her on the bike trail that she walks the babies on and taking the kids. she's a small girl and couldn't possibly fight off an attacker.. just something I have to "shake off" or it makes me crazy? ***, maybe I need to talk to someone!
anyways, it's nice knowing that I'm not alone, but I feel terrible others are going through it too. Thanks again, for posting and good luck, TO EVERYONE!