- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
November 2011 Moms
Siggy Challange: Before and After
2 Days old
Almost 9 Months
Tearing vs C-section
I'm nervous about tearing. I have been told some nightmare stories about people being ripped a new one!! I'm just afraid if I tear alot I won't enjoy sex as much after I am healed. I have had the best sex of my life with SO and I am afraid it just wont feel the same if my lady parts have been stiched back together. 
But then again I do not want a c-section. I carry all of my weight in my belly and thighs. I have the double spare tire thing going on. Before my pregnancy I had lost 40lbs and I plan on getting right back on the exercising and wagon asap after I have LO. I'm afraid if I have to have a c-section I will never be able to get rid of that lower spare tire. I know my belly after those muscles are cut is just going to flop over. Also I have never had surgery. Unless you count my wisdom teeth. I was so sick afterwords I was in bed for a week because of the meds they gave me. I don't want that again. I want to be able to keep my eyes open and take care of my baby.
SO's other two kids were both close to 10lbs when born. Now I don't know if that is his genetics or their moms. (praying it is their moms) I think I would have to sacrifice my lady parts though. I guess SO and I just need to get in some good times before all of this goes down.
Siggy Challange: Before and After
2 Days old
Almost 9 Months
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tearing vs C-section
Try not to worry about it, because this is something you can't prepare for. I was worried sick about tearing and when it came down to pushing DS had no problem coming out. he was only 8lbs (3 weeks early) but he had a huge head. Do some deep squats and massage your lady parts to help with that.
Congrats on losing 40lbs before getting pregnant! That is awsome!
I have had a vaginal birth and c-section...trust me when I say the tearing recovery is SO much better then the c-section recovery.
Oh, and sex after my vaginal birth (after recovery of course) is 100% better
Most women who tear don't "rip a new one."
I tore with DD1--I'd rather tear naturally than be cut--and it wasn't bad. I had a couple of stitches and that was it. Of course everything down there hurt for a while, but I just gave birth so it's not like it was unusual.
I was cleared for sex at 6 weeks, but waited until 8 weeks. It was somewhat painful and uncomfortable the first few times we got back into it but remind your SO to be easy and use lots of lube. It gets better, trust me! If it didn't get better...would I be sitting here pregnant again?
My DH even recently said that sex is just as good, if not better, than before I had DD1.
There are things you can do to try to avoid tearing, perineal massage, pushing in different positions, pushing slowly to allow the tissue to stretch, apply counter pressure etc. I would also suggest that you avoid a episiotomy if possible because natural tears heal faster and easier.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
Eh, I had a third degree tear with internal tearing with my first. Was it uncomfortable for a couple weeks? Sure, but everything is all back to normal and actually was totally back to normal by my 6 week PP visit. Sex doesn't feel any different for either of us.
I'd much rather tear and have a couple weeks of slight discomfort than be cut open, not able to hold my baby right away, not be able to pick up more than my baby for 6 weeks, have to worry more about infection, etc.
I didn't tear with my second who was 9 ounces heavier so it isn't a guarantee you'll tear anyway. But if you have a C-section you are guaranteed to be cut open...
Episiotomies are actually worse than tearing in most cases. It makes it easier to tear further. So you might want to rethink that request. A natural tear is better for you than an episiotomy. There have been studies about it, I'm sure you could google and find them.
This! I had an episiotomy with both of mind and it was NBD. With DD#2 the doc actually removed a mole that was down there at the same time he was sewing me up. The healing from that actually hurt worse than the stiches
I could tell you an absolute nightmare story about tearing if I really wanted to be dramatic. My case was pretty extreme and even includes having to have a surgical revision of the area. I'll spare you the gory details because the only thing that matters is IT'S 100% FINE NOW.
Your body is going to do what it needs to do to get that baby out. It may feel like a train wreck for a short period of time after birth, it may actually even BE a train wreck for a short period of time after birth. The point is, it's not permanent. YOu will heal.
I would not consider a c section just because you are afraid of tearing. A good physician probably wouldn't agree to preform a c section for that reason alone unless they had reason to believe you have some sort of dramatic and atypical tissue reaction in the area. My doctor told me when I got pregnant again that, based on what happened last time, she would OFFER me a c section but, was not recommending it. And, even with my "horror" story, I'm not having a c section this time. People just like to be dramatic and get attention for their drama. Stop letting people tell you about it. It all heals.
Also, there is a (rare) condition, vulvodynia, that causes vaginal pain. It's actually MORE common after a c section birth than a vaginal birth. A c section can lead to exactly the problem you are trying to avoid.
My BTDT advice is:
1) Don't be prissy about an episiotomy. Allow your DOCTOR to make the determination about whether it is necessary or not. WHere they finally cut me healed immediately and quite well. It was all the "natural" tearing that caused all the trouble. You may not need one, not everyone does. If your doctor says YOU do though, believe her.
2) If you have prolonged healing issues, address it with your doctor right away.
You sure can prepare for not tearing!! There was a whole hour about preventing tearing in one of my Bradley classes. Avoiding tearing and avoiding a c section are hot topics that you can prepare for that the Bradley method discusses in detail. I suggest you look into some Bradley classes in your area.
The tearing horror stories don't happen to everyone. I was 2 weeks over due with DD and I pushed for 2 hours. I had a small tear but not big enough to get stitched up....sex is still good after 8 years.
I see my friends stomachs after they had their babies and they are nowhere near what mine looks like. I have a roadmap on mine from DD and I got the huge overlapping pouch. With this LO I'm carrying high so I still have the pudgy pouch below. I plan on getting a tummy tuck in a couple of years to fix it.
This is an important topic that you need to talk to your doctor about. When I had my DD, my doctor felt that me tearing naturally (if it came down to it) would allow me to heal better. However, she said that if it looked like the tear would go to the poop shoot, she would give me an episiotomy off to the side so that I did not have that complication. As others have said, stretching, and pushing slowly will give your body the time it needs to make room for baby coming out.
And about the sex thing; of course everyone is different, but after a bit of the scar tissue was "massaged" away, it felt great! GL!