When you guys have playdates and your kid and another kid or two want to watch tv do you guys let them ? I've been to a few recently where the other kids want to watch a movie and the Mom's have no problem with it.
We do tv now with Cameron but only one night a week and it is very " special family time ".
I want playdates with other kids so they play not so they sit there and watch tv for an hour. I feel like its rude in this situation for me to say ' um were going to leave " but at the same time I don't want to sit there and have Cam watch tv with his friends and on top of it Jasper has not seen tv at all
Seriously no flames, I am honestly just asking. I get that we all have different tv households, i just wasn't sure it it was a normal playdate thing at the age of 4.
TIA
Re: Playdates and tv
Not a mom yet, but, I think that play dates should be for "play," otherwise why bother? But, if the playdate arranged was specifically a "movie night" type playdate, where the kids are watching a special movie, then I'd go along with it. As an after school teacher, we rarely ever have a movie. Only for special occasions such as a reward, a special event, or a rainy Friday, do we watch movies.
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Ditto
This. My only exception is if I have been asked to watch the other child. Then I feel as host it is okay to turn it on for the 10 minute Kipper Riley loves to watch in the evening.
I wouldn't allow TV during a playdate, no. If I wanted my kid to watch TV we could just stay home, I wouldn't have to wrestle w/getting him dressed and I could just stay in my pajamas!
Although, ditto kittylove too. If I'm watching someone else's kid all day long then I might put the TV on for a bit just to catch a break. Although, isn't part of the "joy" of having two or more that they entertain each other? lol
br
Well I'm a firm believer that you can't control what other people do in their house, so if you don't like it I think your option is to leave....and maybe not have play dates with those people again unless it's at a park or at your house.
I don't think it's rude to leave, but I would think that it was rude to say something or try to control the situation in someone elses house.
ETA, that I do agree with the others that the TV shouldn't be on during a play date in general, when N has friends over we keep the TV off for the most part, or have it on music....but usually when she has friends over no one is interested in watching TV at all.
Ditto.
I can't say never, because sometimes putting on the TV was necessary to calm down some seriously overly riled up kids. It's rare though, since I think playdates are for playing.
If we were at a playdate and the TV came on, for me the issue would be more about what the show is than the fact that they put a show on. At 5.5, we're coming to an age with Ryan that is really challenging for TV viewing and for video games. Most of them are either a little too young (and thus not interesting) or quite a bit too old (and thus really interesting, but not at all appropriate).
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Harmony Doula
I agree with this.
Unless it were a pre-planned, pre-approved Movie Date sort of thing, I would think it was rude to bend to the child who wants to watch TV.
PLAYdates infer actual play going on. If my child approached me about it or the guest child approached me about it, I'd simply say - "Sorry, it's not TV time just now." And then I'd suggest some other sort of play, "Why don't you guys go outside?" or "I'd be happy to turn on some music so you can have a Dance Party"
I don't think I'd walk out or excuse myself, but I likely wouldn't be excited about attending a repeat at that home.
My general rule is no TV while playdates are going on. Have I turned on the TV during a playdate? yes. But it is the exception and most likely because the playdate has turned into a much longer event than originally intended (probably because I'm friends with the mom, so even then I'd be comfortable with saying something).
I also agree that I generally don't force my rules on other people's houses. We are a guest in their house and its not my place to say what can/can't be done. If I wasn't ok with something I would politely say that it was time for us to go or find some other thing for my kid to do. From that point on, I would make playdates at parks or my house and try to figure out if I wanted to continue playdates with that parent/child.
I'm usually the no tv during playdates. I've gone to a couple of playdates where tv has been turned on and I think to myself really? But that said, recently I had a friend come over to meet the new baby and I turned on the tv to keep one of my kids happy. I felt bad, but for me right now I know I've been turning to tv while having the new little one to take care of. So I may have to revise my answer to, I'd most of the time want a playdate to be playing, not tv but for whatever reason if tv does come on I won't be too mad about it.