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May 2011 Moms
NJMom050911
member
Mommy's of 2+
NJMom050911
member
So we will be trying for LO #2 soon and the more real this idea becomes the more worried I become about how this will change the realtionship between me and DS. Right now it's all about him and I can't picture sharing my time and love with another baby. I know that once they're bigger it will be easier because they will play together and love each other but I'm just having a hard time with this. For some reason I feel like I'm a bad mom for wanting to have another baby when I have this little one that I want and should give all my attention to. Does this make sense? Did any of you feel this way? Did it change once your new LO came home?
Logan Alexander born May 9th 2011. He has stolen my heart forever.
BFP #2 05/24/12 EDD 01/31/13 D&C 06/26/12 Missing you.
Diagnosed with Ashermans 11/06/12 Surgery 01/18/13, Cleared for TTC 03/01/13 BFP 03/26/13 IT'S A BOY!
Please Be Our Rainbow!
BFP #2 05/24/12 EDD 01/31/13 D&C 06/26/12 Missing you.
Diagnosed with Ashermans 11/06/12 Surgery 01/18/13, Cleared for TTC 03/01/13 BFP 03/26/13 IT'S A BOY!
Please Be Our Rainbow!
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Re: Mommy's of 2+
I think everyone has those worries, and it ends up just working. (Not saying its easy, just works)
My sisters and I are close in age, and I love that. I also think it helps kids learn life skills when they don't have all the attention/time on them all the time. They learn that others have needs, and sometimes they need to wait, share etc.
Of course I only have one. So really I know nothing.
This is me as well. I have a 3 year old DD and an 11 week old DS and it can be extremely hard to juggle both their needs. It has changed my relationship with my DD a bit, because she's not my only priority anymore and she's not big on sharing me. She's much less jealous now than she was at first, but she still acts out sometimes and it can be exhausting. Also when you have a toddler and an infant you get much less time to yourself because one of them always needs something.
Layla is 4 and Lydia is almost 4 months. It was, and is, quite a transition - it's a transition at any age, really! I don't feel guilty about having another child to give my attention to. I look at it from my own POV when I was growing up.... I always wanted a sibling - I was an only child. I think that kids get used to it. I know we will have at least one more, but what's holding us back is finances, not the guilt of giving our attention to one LO more than another. Hope that makes sense!
It does make sense and thinking of it that way makes me feel better about our decision. I know that having a sibling is beneficial in many ways, especially when they are close in age. I guess I would like to be able to love on my DS as much as I can and I feel guilty about sharing...
I was actually REALLY terrified when I was pregnant with my youngest...
Scarlett was only 9 months old when I got pregnant with her sister and I stressed over the fact that I felt like I was taking being a baby away from her. All of my attention was focused on Scarlett and I kept wondering how I was going to share the love with the new baby,
Until she got here.
I don't feel like I give Scarlett any less attetion that she recieved before I had her sister, and I sure don't believe I love her any less.
I always wondered how my mom loved 5 kids the way she did, and now I realize that having more kids doesn't mean you love each of them less as more arrive...
instead your capacity to love grows larger and you become very aware of time management.
It probably helps that scarlett is CRAZY in love with her little sister.
I don't think a baby needs "all" your attention. By that logic, multiples and any child who is not the first born are always getting short-changed, and that's just not true.
It can be challenging juggling the needs of 2 kids at the same time, and I think 2u2 sounds very hard. But it's doable. I don't feel like my relationship with my oldest has changed profoundly just because there is now another child in our family. I think every mom worries about the changes of adding another baby. But then once they are here, and not some hypothetical idea, you can't imagine it any other way. GL.
I completely feel the same way. While I am having a hard time juggling both and my job, I couldn't imagine it any other way. And I stressed way more than I should have prior. But then again, I don't have 2U2
This was my biggest fear when we finally got KU with DD. DS is now 2 and she is almost 3 months old and I can't imagine my life any other way. I personally feel I still have a very special relationship with him, it's just different then it was before. In some ways I think it helps that I have a boy and a girl because the special things I do with him are and will always be different then the things I do with her.
I also couldn't get over the idea that I could love another baby as much as I loved DS. But I love them both equally. I can't imagine our family any other way. I won't lie, 2u2 is tough, but I keep telling myself that it is crazy now but so worth it down the road. And honestly, the hardest part was being pregnant with a baby under 2.