Infertility

Scared

I have been a bit quiet through this IVF, but we did ER for IVF #2 on Thursday, we got 18 eggs, 14 mature, 13 fertilized with ICSI and as of today 9 of these are between 6-8 cells and "progressing as expected" - 4 are nice looking 8 cellers.

I'm so, so scared that the same thing will happen this time, now that we're getting closer to the PGS results. I have been nervous this whole way, but now this report looks a lot like last time's report and as much as I'm trying not to compare this cycle with our last failed one, today has just been hard.

Last time all 3 of our blasts were abnormal and we have the same number of embies at 4 cells on day 3 as last time, etc., etc. The rest of this cycle went better and smoother and I was more relaxed but I just hate that the glimmer of hope we're holding onto right now could be squashed in an instant, yet I can't help but hold onto some hope. Have those of you that have done more than one IVF felt the same way? Any advice or words of wisdom?

2 IVFs & 1 FET. Welcome home baby girl!

Re: Scared

  • Hey sweets, I don't have any stories to share with you, but I wanted to let you know that I definitely have T&P coming your way.  What you are feeling is absolutely justified and it must incredibly scary to think that things are heading in the same direction.  I am hopeful as everything else has gone much smoother and it's your turn for a fantastic outcome.  It's okay to feel scared, just know that we're all here for you and we're definitely rooting for you.  Big big ((hugs)), try to do some nice things for yourself these days.  Good Luck!

     
    me 33/DH 36
    ttc since 10/2008; d/x: mild MFI, stageII endo
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~
    11 IUI’s = 1 m/c (7w4d)
    IVF#1 January 2012 BFN, FET #1 April 2012 BFN
    Surprise BFP October 2012 m/c (7w), Surprise BFP April 2013 m/c (6w4d)
    IVF #2: July 2013, ET 1 embryo 7/18, beta 1 @ 14dp3dt - 757, beta 2 @ 16dp3dt - 1762
    U/S 1 @ 6w4d = 1 little frogger with HB of 118, U/S 2 @ 7w3d measuring right on track with HB of 160
    Stick Frogger Stick! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!   It's a Girl, EDD April 7, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

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  • I don't have any brillant words of wisdom or advice, but wanted to say I'm sending T&P's your way that this is your cycle.

    Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
    DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
    IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
    1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
    FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
    FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
    7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
    EDD 2/22/2013
    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
    imageimageimageimage
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I just want you to know that we are all thinking of you. I completely understand that feeling of alternating between being excited and hopeful to being terrified. Probably a lot of us that have had a bumpy ride can relate to what you are feeling. You are definitely not alone. Hugs.
  • Oh honey! (((HUGS))) and know that I am thinking of you! and your AMAZING!

    April 2013 DE IVF= BFN

    September 2013 DE IVF (Fingers Crossed) = BFFFN! again...

    October 2013 FET of our last 2 = Beta Hellzz for 6-7 Weeks. M/C

  • ((((SUPER HUGE SQUISHY HUGS)))) I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I had something to say to make this easier. I am sending lots of good vibes and T&Ps your way. GL doll!
    imageimage

    Dx: DH - Azoo, Me - Mild PCOS
    DH - sperm found! Seems to produce only for a few days every 70 days!
    Over 1 million in cryo in 15 vials over 6 samples
    IVF #1 - 1 beautiful expanded blast transferred, 4 snowbabies - beta #1 11/30/11 = BFFN
    FET #1, transfered 2 embies 2/16/12 = BFFN; 1 snowbaby left in cryo
    IVF #2 + CGH = 4 genetically normal embies on ice. FET September 26th
    SAIF/PAIF always welcome

    a special GL and prayers to my IF sister Gregermis

    image
    check out my blog!


  • I have never done embie testing so I can't share any stories, but I did want to wish you good luck.  I really hope that this cycle has a very different outcome for you sweets.  Please keep us in the loop!
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  • Honey, You always have to have hope. Without hope, what's the point in trying.  So please don't let go of that hope.  I know it's hard and it's so easy to get scared and discourage but please don't. Every once and a while a miracle really does happen!!

    Lots of T&P going out to you and a great big hug!!!!

    Renee- 37 DH - Chad - 39
    2/06 - surprise pregnancy - twins
    3/06 - m/c 1st baby at 6 weeks 
    5/06 -2nd baby had no heartbeat at 14 wks.
    D&E - Bled out. Blood transfusions. Week in ICU - Cheated Death!
    Diagnosis: Blood clotting and bleeding disorder, immune issues, & cervical stenosis
    5/10 - 1st IVF cycle - BFN
    FET - 10/12/10 - BFN
    1/11 - IVF with PGD - BFN
    IVF - May - BFN
    6/11 New RE - fingers crossed!
    9/11 - IVF - 4 transferred
    10/13 - BFP!!
    It's a boy! Clint Michael, Due in June!!!

    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker





  • You are strong, brave, and wonderful woman.  I know this is very scary and it's easy to lose hope, but try to stay positive.  I haven't gone through the PGD testing so I don't have any personal stories to share.  I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and hoping that you get your BFP!!  Huge hugs!!

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  • I have no advice or wisdom but want to wish you a better outcome this time.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

  • Just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking about you!
    Married 8/2008. IVF with PGD March 2013.
    3/22 ER: 25R, 20M, 15F. 9 genetically normal, and 3 survived to Day 5
    3/27 ET: transferred 1 embryo, beta 9dp5dt=163, 12dp5dt=639
    4/25 1st ultrasound at 7 weeks = identical twins with heartbeats?!!!
    PPROM at 31w, delivery at 32 weeks of two beautiful girls
    image
  • I think everything you are feeling is completely normal. I haven't gone through my second IVF yet, but since I didn't make it past ER this time, I know I will have huge fears going into that OR the next time!

    It's okay to be scared after what you've been through, but important to remember that all 18 of those eggs you started with this time are different eggs than your last go around! Sending lots of T&P's your way for a much better outcome. Hang in there!!

    2/11 Diagnosis: DOR-AMH .62, LPD and MFI-4% Morph
    IVF #1-July 2011 7/9/11-Started Stims
    7/20/11-ER:No eggs in 4/5 follicles. Left the 5th follie intact and converted to an IUI
    8/3/11-Beta #1=BFN,
    Nov, 2011 BFP #1=m/c at 7 wks 3 days
    11/11-AMH .47, IVF #2 March 2012...or not!! Surprise BFP on 2/19. Beta #1=161. Beta #2 305 Our little miracle girl is on her way! Due Oct 29, 2012
    <a href="http://s1207.photobucket.com/albums/bb461/andersenspics/?action=view
  • hey sloane. been thinking about you and hoping and praying for better results this time. hang in there hun!
    ***SAIF & PAIF Welcome***

    TTC since November 2008; me - poor egg quality,hypothyroidism,missing beta 3 integrin;
    DH - some MFI;

    1 month clomid plus timing - BFN;
    3 months clomid + IUI - BFN BFN BFN

    IVF #1 Nov/Dec 2009 - BFP - c/p;
    IVF #2.1 Jan 2011 - Converted to IUI - BFN;
    IVF #2.2 March/April 2011 - ER 3/23/11: 12 retrieved, 8 mature, 3 fert-ET 3dt 3/26/11: 3 embies - BFN;
    IVF #3 May 2011 - ER 5/19/11: 20 retrieved, 10 mature, 9 fert-ET 5dt 5/24/11 3 embies - BFN;
    Switched RE's for IVF #4 (CCRM) Oct 2011 - Surprise BFP before starting IVF #4!
  • No words of wisdom here. Just a lot of thoughts and prayers coming your way.
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

    SAIFW/PAIFW
  • Best of luck to you hun!
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    TTC since March/April 2010
    DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
    DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
    June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
    Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
    IVF - January 2012: BFN
    FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
    After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
    image
  • I have never done any testing on my embies but I think your feelings are very normal.  I always say that hope is a double-edged sword in IF but is it essential...it is what keeps us going.  I know it is hard but try to hang in there.  I am sending tons of T&P your way.
    TTC since 3/07. IVF#1 = canceled. IVF#2 = 0% fertilization. IVF#3 = BFN. IVF#4 = c/p.  
    Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
  • Thinking of you and sending prayers your way!
  • Even when things look similar on the surface, I'm a firm believer every cycle is different.  Keep holding onto that glimmer of hope.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that you'll get a great report back!
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  • Just wanted to offer you a big hug and wishing you the best.
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  • (((hugs))) Thinking of you and hoping this cycle brings you amazing success!
    IUIs #1-3 (1x unmedicated, 2x Clomid) = 2 BFNs, 1 m/c at 7w3d
    IUIs #4-6 (injects) = 3 BFNs
    IVF #1 = BFN
    FET #1 = BFN
    FET #2 = BFN
    IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
    IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
    Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
    ~~
    TTC again March 2014
    FET #3 - May/June 2014
    -
    all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
    IVF #4 - July/August 2014 
    beta 1 (11dp3dt) 220, beta 2 (13dp3dt) 671, beta 3 (19dp3dt) 10762
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