FTM's - do you feel like you're trying to study for a test...

HappyAardvark · August 2011

And you don't even know the subject?? I'm talking about trying to make sure you have the gear you need, enough of each item, etc. And advice from other moms is helpful, but not really, since every baby is different! Argh I'm just venting - I hate wasting time or money but somehow I know it's going to be inevitable. And there's always waiting until after the baby is born, but that comes with a whole other set of challenges.

hannamarin · August 2011

I have read 2 books on how to take care of a baby but I feel like I have forgotten everything already. I might have to read them again.

my Mom will ask me "how often do you feed the baby?" and I will freeze (exactly like a test) and forget what I read.

I may have to make cue cards or notes to tape around my house on how to make formula.

hannamarin · August 2011

crystalbaby:
I also feel bad because I get really bored reading the baby books. And because yesterday when we were driving by the hospital I said to my husband, "I bet that childbirth class is going to suck arse." Now he won't stop teasing me about it.

we are skipping the childbirth class mostly because we think it will be boring. But also because our schedules conflict and the nurse said we can just read and be okay.

jeanniez · August 2011

I was a pre-school teacher for 12 yrs (mostly one-yr-olds) a foster parent for a 3 mo old, and still feel like you! I thought the past experience would be enough and it helps a little but I just keep thinking about how little he will be, how do I take care of a um.cord stump? Or circumsion? I can't even spell it LOL. What will I need? How will we survive on one income? I hear you. I know I'm more than a little scared. I know everything will more than likely be fine-has been for millions of moms before us-but it's still very overwhelming.

LauriJean_2009 · August 2011

Like MH said... "I'd feel better if they were born and automatically 3 months." it's the 0-3 mos stage that is freaking me out. Meconium, umbilical cords, floppy heads, soft spots, breastfeeding, diapers, clothes. INSANE!

jonnygurl76 · August 2011

deep breaths ladies!!!! just like everything else, you will find your groove and what works for you and your LO. esp. regarding types of bottles, pacifiers, to swaddle or not--you can't really plan on what your LO will like. as long as your baby has a full stomach, gets enough sleep and is wearing a clean diaper--you are more than ahead of the game.

Elsa1984 · August 2011

jonnygurl76:
deep breaths ladies!!!! just like everything else, you will find your groove and what works for you and your LO. esp. regarding types of bottles, pacifiers, to swaddle or not--you can't really plan on what your LO will like. as long as your baby has a full stomach, gets enough sleep and is wearing a clean diaper--you are more than ahead of the game.

This!

I am a FTM but was a nanny of 4 (had each one since pretty much the newborn stage). Each kid is totally different so what worked for one kid....didn't work for another. Baby will decide what bottle he/she will take....and which binkie (or not one at all). You can practice your swaddling until you turn blue, only to find that baby doesn't like to be swaddled. You can pay tons of money for an amazing crib, only to find out that baby will only sleep in the swing.

My friend and her husband had their baby 10 weeks ago and took every class imaginable on how to care for a baby. Her husband broke down one night (while the baby was screaming bloody murder and he was continuously trying all of the tricks from the classes), and said he wished he never took the classes because nothing that they taught worked on their baby. He needed up figuring out (just by trial and error) that the baby didn't want to be walk/bounced, have his back patted, saying "SHHHHH" while trying to calm him......he flipped the baby on his stomach and let his arms and legs dangle (supporting LO with his arm) and rubbed LO's back. He stopped crying instantly and her husband said "I didn't learn THAT in that piece of sh*t class!"

SO asked if he should take a class and I laughed (which after I realized I shouldn't have laughed at his question....oops). I told him no because he will have to wait until the baby is here and learn everything about the baby through trial and error because nobody can tell you EXACTLY what is going to work for your baby. You just have to figure it out and you cannot really figure out anything until after the baby has arrived and you know what his/her personality/preferences/etc are like.

MrsClark8109 · August 2011

We've started stocking up on things we know we'll need like diapers/wipes/rash cream...I know some babies react to different diapers/wipes but with 2 babies I'd hope atleast 1 would be able to wear a brand. We also have gotten different brands incase 1 doesn't work we have another to try.

I feel that way with clothes though...some people say "oh you only need a few they grow so fast" others say "but they'll poop and throw up a zillion times a day so unless you want to do laundry 10 times a week---you need to plan for 3 outfits a day"---I also have a fear when I put clothes away that I'll forget I have something and wont find it until baby has outgrown it. I know its inevitably going to happen...

StephK · August 2011

PappsMcgee:
I feel like I knew everything about trying to get pregnant and not a thing about being pregnant or planning for once baby is here! I've been trying to be relaxed about it and buying things I know have worked for friends/family and just hoping it does for us too... otherwise we'll just exchange them. I think my biggest concerns are breast feeding and learning how to adjust to a fully dependent person!

These are my biggest concerns, too - on top of the whole issue of the pain of labor. Every mom I know has told me not to stress about the nursery or stocking up on x, y, z gear before she's here. As was pointed out above, they have all told me to focus on a place for her to sleep, changing her diaper and feeding her and the rest will take care of itself eventually. Of course, I'm still stressing to some degree about the nursery, but that is finally coming together. I don't think I will ever feel "ready", but I am really at the point that I can't wait to see her. I think eventually that excitement will override the fear of the unknown.

As for the breastfeeding thing, I'm trying to read up on it as much as I can so that I'm at least intellectually prepared for it, even if I expect it to be frustrating at the beginning. I'm going to a LLL meeting in a few weeks and our pediatrician office has two LC on staff, too, so hopefully I can get enough help to get us through!

Liz4444 · August 2011

Honestly, at the moment if I think about it any more than saying to myself, "i'll figure it out", i'll freak out!

Willosious · August 2011

LauriJean_2009:
Like MH said... "I'd feel better if they were born and automatically 3 months." it's the 0-3 mos stage that is freaking me out. Meconium, umbilical cords, floppy heads, soft spots, breastfeeding, diapers, clothes. INSANE!

this!!

Runnergirl2242 · August 2011

I am a STM and I must admit that I feel like its so hard to know bc each baby is so different. Who knows if this baby will want a pacifier or not, or like the bouncy seat. Its really a shot in the dark. I have been stocking up on stuff I know I will need. Like sanitizer and shampoo and trying not to buy too much stuff until I know

1stimemommy2b · August 2011

i know i know i know!!! I feel like i KNOW nothing! I hope instinct kicks in!! lol

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FTM's - do you feel like you're trying to study for a test...

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