Moms of 2+

No Longer ERL · October 2013

I just had my second DS in August. I am considering a promotion at work. Yet I am thinking about #3. I thought we would be done at 2. DS is an awesome baby and I feel so blessed. What is it like being a working mom 2+? What is your spacing?

emberlee3 · October 2013

DS was almost 3 years old when DD was born. The spacing is great! DD was colicky so the first year was hard. She is an awesome toddler. I love the size of our family now. I think we may be done. Besides, we can't afford another child for at least 2 more years.

mommatotwo2 · October 2013

Our kids are 5 years apart...and honestly, this second baby made our lives WAY harder as far as time, exhaustion etc., but she is of course well worth it. I think the biggest thing is that our 5 year old started kindergarten 2 weeks after my maternity leave ended and the combination of her going to school, me going to work and LO2 starting daycare, life got a bit chaotic. We're slowly falling into a rhythm. If it were me and I was up for a promotion at work, I'd probably wait a little bit to starting trying for #2.

No Longer ERL · October 2013

We would be trying for #3. I agree 2 is busy...we are getting into a decent rhythm.

Maybride2 · October 2013

Mine are 4 years apart. Being a working mom of 2 isn't much different than being a working mom of 1, really; you find your rhythm and pretty soon you don't remember what life was like with 1. Mornings and evenings are a little more hectic, but it's worth it.

mommatotwo2 · October 2013

No Longer ERL said:

We would be trying for #3. I agree 2 is busy...we are getting into a decent rhythm.

I just saw that, sorry!!

NicoleWI · October 2013

I have said before that so much depends on your individual situation and what your kids are like. There are 22.5 months between our first two and almost 2 years exactly between DS and DD2. DD2 has been a WONDERFUL baby. I think it's still hard anytime you have an infant at home, but she has been just amazing. SO much easier than the first two. DS, though, was SOOO hard that if we'd had another like him right away (he's awesome now) I don't know how we would have done it. I still spend most of my "active parenting" on the older two, and the baby is just a totally enjoyable sweet little love.

That said, there are still 3 kids to dress, feed, diaper, clean up after, take to activities, get to bed, etc. Because both DH and I are both at least 30 min from home in different directions, and b/c he works a lot, I felt like it was too stressful/hard for me to continue working FT and that because of our work situation it was going to be getting hard on our kids over time. In many situations, I could have kept working, but for us, it just didn't seem like the right choice. I wasn't comfortable with the amount of time my kids would need to spend in child care in the next few years with school and activities and things starting, and there were a lot of things I wanted to do with them that would be difficult with me working downtown.

So, anyway, I'm leaving my job at the end of the year. Work knows, and we've had a nice transition where they let me go PT staring in summer as a transition year. If I could continue like this or in something similar part time, I would, but that's not really an option right now. So, I'm going to try SAH and see how it goes. So, long answer. For me, working FT with three wasn't going to give my family what we wanted, and we can do fine on DH's salary. But, working PT would be do-able if jobs were out there, and FT certainly is do-able, too, depending on your hours, commutes, division of labor, child care arrangements, etc. Best of luck!

litzo27 · October 2013

We're expecting LO3 now. DS1 and DS3 are 3 years apart and baby girl will be 2.5 years with DS2. The 3 year gap is great I think. We'll see how much crazier adding a third is, but logistically I don't expect it to be a huge difference. Still have to prepare all the stuff for daycare/school the night before. Still have to take older ones to activities, just now with baby in tow. The big impact will be financially (nanny+daycare+afterschool) plus each kids will inevitable get less one on one time.

Work wise. I think the first one was a huge hit - put me out of competition with some of my colleagues. The others are just marginal impact. But my industry is rather unusual - academic.

itsmevkb · October 2013

My children are 2 and half years apart, 2 and a half years apart and then 16 months apart. The 16 month separation has definitely been more difficult and although we are handling 4 children pretty well I do feel we are reaching our limit.

I received being considered for a rather large promotion during my third pregnancy which sadly ended in a miscarriage. I can remember my boss questioning if I wanted the promotion given that I would soon have three younger children at home. For me that never really played a role in my work life but I also have a job where I work about 8-5, no overtime, kids or no kids, promotion or no promotion so the difference really comes in the challenge and stress while I'm at work. For me I need that to stay engaged at work.

The harder part, of course, is just finding the right routine and I find that as the kids get older it actually gets harder, not easier. I see having babies and toddlers now as the easy things because it's actually harder to figure out after school activities for the older kids and working that in with work schedules than it is just figuring out things like daycare pick-up and when to have dinner.

My philosophy is that whatever we choose we'll figure out a way to make it work. Sometimes I think the key is just to keep a sense of humor about things.

skyejo · October 2013

I have two girls, 3 and 1, are we're planning on a third and possibly a fourth. We're in a great groove right now so I'm not too stressed about adding more kids to our family because the transition from 1 to 2 was seamless. My husband is super supportive and hands on, the baby is a dream--so chill--I don't work long hours and DH has a flexible job. All of these things come together to make it work for us.

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