What age is too young to go to daycare ?

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2011

while talking to my mother about child care she said that its best for baby to be home with its parents. I said that I believe its important that the child be around other children and she said "yes, but not when they are too young." I asked her what too young was and she said that kids under 2 are too young to be in daycare. I know its just a preference, but I am wondering what you ladies thought on the topic.

rt4life · August 2011

My daughter had to go to daycare after 6 weeks.

I would have preferred to stay home with her longer...but I had to go back to work.

kcisthebombdotcom · August 2011

For me personally, I think it's ideal to have them on a one on one situation for the first 3 years, then enrolled in a preschool. If I had to work full time and needed full time childcare, I would probably choose a nanny until I could put the kids in preschool. My current childcare arrangement has me working part time with the kids being watched by my mom/DH while I'm at work, and I really like it. With that being said, we started my DS in part time daycare at 18 months per the recommendation of my pedi due to his speech delay, and it has been a wonderful influence.

Do I think that people who need to put their kids in daycare at 6 weeks old are scarring them for life? Of course not. Just not my personal preference.

KathrynMD · August 2011

Assuming your child has loving and attentive, no age is too young. One on one is good too, but children, even babies, thrive on interaction and socialization with others. I think being at home can be isolating and depressing for children and their parents/mothers. Its good for kids to develop strong bonds with people outside their immediate family. I think its good to start daycare before separation anxiety kicks in.

angelame1979 · August 2011

Well most daycares won't take kids under 6 weeks. So I am going to say 6 weeks... haha but seriously. You need to decide what is best for YOU and YOUR family. I think my DD has developed far quicker by being around other kids of varying ages than she would if she was home with me. I also am not equipped to be a SAHM...at least to an infant is what I found out. I have been home for the last few weeks and am so sad that I have to go back to work. DD just turned 1 and I like this age so much better. If there was a way I could work it out and be home part time and work part time I would but we can't afford that. I also like working. She loves DC and they love her and I wouldn't change it for anything. Everyone is going to have an opinion but no one knows what's best for you. Shame on your mom for making you feel bad about it because I think we as daughters value our moms opinion a lot more than anyone elses. My mom and dad were both very supportive of whatever we did. Even still, their opinion is just that and regardless this is the choice we probably would have made.

KathrynMD · August 2011

BTW OP - my parents and ILs were all very quietly opposed to daycare when DD was a NB/infant. After a few months and they all saw how happy DD was and developing well and had a strong relationship with DH and I they are all pretty pro daycare.

karleegirl · August 2011

Ds1 didn't go to dc until he was 2. Ds2 started at 10 weeks. They are both happy, smart, loving kids with healthy parental attachments.

mrsseguin · August 2011

We put DS in DC when he was 2. For us it was a good age due to our circumstances at home with baby #2 on the way. I think it was a good change for him. He goes one day a week. We will put DD in DC too, she will be about 18 months when she goes. I don't think it there is an age that is "too young", but unless we had to, I wouldn't want my newborn baby in DC. It's personal preference I guess...

pinksweetpea2 · August 2011

I personally don't think kinds *need* the socialization of daycare until they are around a year and a half, however that doesn't mean that some kids don't benefit from it before then.

Lily went to daycare for the first time when she was 20 months and flourished. She LOVES it even more this year. I am going to have to quit my job when this baby arrives for financial reasons, but we are trying to figure out if we can keep Lily in her daycare two days a week until at least next summer because she just loves it so much and gets so much out of it. After that we hope to get her in a preschool program.

If I had been able to keep this job ideally I would have like to have a nanny for the baby and send Lily to preschool a few mornings a week.

laurakaz13 · August 2011

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

while talking to my mother about child care she said that its best for baby to be home with its parents. I said that I believe its important that the child be around other children and she said "yes, but not when they are too young." I asked her what too young was and she said that kids under 2 are too young to be in daycare. I know its just a preference, but I am wondering what you ladies thought on the topic.

Well it's fine that your mom feels this way, but not everyone can just stay home with their child. Lots of people need to work.

That said, my daycare would not take babies under 6 weeks old. I stayed home for 3 months and think that was pretty ideal. I probably would have stayed home longer if I had more leave, but I was pretty bored at home. My baby is doing really well and learning a ton already.

I don't need to work, but I would not be happy at home with my baby all the time. I love her but I love my career. So, I totally disagree with your mom.

superned · August 2011

KathrynMD:
Assuming your child has loving and attentive, no age is too young. One on one is good too, but children, even babies, thrive on interaction and socialization with others. I think being at home can be isolating and depressing for children and their parents/mothers. Its good for kids to develop strong bonds with people outside their immediate family. I think its good to start daycare before separation anxiety kicks in.

I totally agree with this (other than group care shouldn't really start before baby is six weeks).

My DD started child care with a wonderful, accredited family child care provider at 14 weeks. Our provider has at least two assistants at all times, so DD got a lot of one-on-one care while she was there.

Our provider is closed for the summer and I can tell that DD is getting bored staying home every day. She misses playing with other children - I can tell because any time we see another child when we are out she tries to play with them!

I think for kids that are naturally shy and reserved, it's probably harder, but having group care be a part of their lives from the beginning is likely to make it easier as they get older and experience separation anxiety.

Even if you want to and are able to be a SAHM, it's important for kids younger than two to have opportunities to play with other children as well as to be cared for people other than their parents.

OUKap · August 2011

What is the base for which option is better? Because a mom or her mom thinks one option is better doesn't make it so. You have success stories on both side. I don't think it matters in the end. I doubt there is any conclusive research that shows 3 months is worse than 2 years.

My daycare is awesome. Lots of emphasis on early childhood development and it is close to my work so I can go by during lunch. I choose to work because I enjoy it. I don't think I would do well as a sahm - my kid and I would get bored.

FortMyersBride · August 2011

I agree that any age after 6 wks is fine to begin DC, my DS went to a home DC from 7 wks-10mos and was very loved and well cared for. We switched to a nanny at 10 mos because of our erratic work schedules. I feel like nanny 1-on-1 care is great when they're little, but once DS reached 18mos-2 yrs we enrolled him in several classes per week so that he could interface with other kids. He will be 3 in a couple of mos and is starting AM preschool next month. Going to classes I think helped with this transition (he loves playing with other kids). He will continue to be with the nanny in the afternoon, and we'll have the nanny FT for our next LO.

UsedToBeGoldie · August 2011

KathrynMD:
Assuming your child has loving and attentive, no age is too young. One on one is good too, but children, even babies, thrive on interaction and socialization with others. I think being at home can be isolating and depressing for children and their parents/mothers. Its good for kids to develop strong bonds with people outside their immediate family. I think its good to start daycare before separation anxiety kicks in.

this- exactly.

any good, caring, situation = good for babies.... if it's daycare, home, whatever. Children who are in daycare from an early age on do just fine - my kids are a great example of that. All started at 5mo and all are very attached to me, very good with other people, other kids, etc.

stahlop · August 2011

I remember the babysitter I went to when I was in elementary school sat for a family that always started going there at a week old. Now, to me, that's a little young, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. I don't understand how kids under two are too young. I feel my LO's social skills are much better now that he's at a sitter's with other babies and he's only 5 months.

groovygrl · August 2011

6 weeks, after that there are many pros & cons for all care situations. There are crappy nannies out there & grandparents who don't necessarily provide ideal care even if it is one on one, so it all depends on the children, caregivers & family needs to me....

And to add to Kathryn's comment- my mother was DEFINITELY not thrilled w/ my decision to do DC over a nanny but once she visited there w/ me a couple times (including a time DS puked all over himself & his carseat & the teachers were all over us trying to help & clean up etc) and watched them on the webcam, she has become a total convert & now rolls her eyes at her friends who talk about how they're not happy that their grandkids might go to daycare...she sees all the benefits for the kids as well as for me/us as a family. (My ILs have never really commented to my knowledge, but their other grandchildren have had all different care situations, 2 are stay at home moms, 1 mom used an au pair & another used a daycare facility also so I dont know if they really have any strong feelings about it).

Again, not to say nannies or home care are not good options, this is just the best fit for us. The sickness sucks in the beginning but if kids start at 2, they'll get sick all the time too, and if they don't do it til 4 or 5 they'll get sick all the time. It is just the way it is.

sarag0116 · August 2011

You do what you have to do. Not everyone has family close by to help care for LO. I also felt more comfortable with LO in a group setting (ie daycare center) rather with a stranger in my home. Those reasons include her being with licensed teachers in a licensed facility, not having to deal with when the nanny/teacher is sick, and the socialization. DD has been in daycare since 12 weeks and has done well. The teachers love her and she gets to hang around babies her age and up to 1 year old. It's wonderful for her!

My time with her in the mornings, evenings, and all day during my 3 day weekends are special. That's when she gets full on one on one time. I think it's a good combination for us.

shannm · August 2011

We started at six weeks and don't regret a thing.

secst26 · August 2011

All the DCs I've looked at start at 6 weeks. While I plan to be out for 12 weeks, I know not everyone is so fortunate and those babies need to be cared for by someone. I think everyone needs to make the best decision for their family. Personally, I think socialization is a good thing, especially once a toddler.

lindsay.lou · August 2011

My son has just started seeming less, for lack of a better word, newborn-ish in the last week or so. So I think before 12 weeks, I'd be uncomfortable putting him in daycare. I know some parents have no choice and I totally get that and don't judge them at all. If I was in their position, I'd do the exact same thing.

Now if I were a SAHM, I'd probably put my DS in daycare once a week for socialization starting at about 18 months.

spinach · August 2011

With my first child my MIL told me that babies need to be watched by family for the 1st 3 years of their lives. I am a firm believer in sending the kid to school, I offered a compromise where DS would go to school 2X a week and she can watch him 3X a week, she said no deal so we sent DS to day care at 6 months old. She has seen that DS turned out quite out, very social, very articulate etc so now with DD I asked her if she would watch her for the 1st year (really it's because DS now goes to an in home day care and with older kids at school, I prefer to not send DD until she can walk), she was very agreeable to however long I want her to watch DD.

Back to your question, my personal preference is to send DC to school (whether it is mother's day out, day care, in home etc sometime between 1-1.5 years old. However, if I didn't have a choice I would send my child whenever we needed, as long as the baby is getting the proper care and love that is needed.

financialdiva · August 2011

Too young to attend daycare = under 6 weeks old. This is the youngest most daycares will allow you to enroll your infant.

526SadieSadie · August 2011

financialdiva:

Too young to attend daycare = under 6 weeks old. This is the youngest most daycares will allow you to enroll your infant.

I agree with this.

I wish I had the option to be at home with my kid and not have to enroll him/her in daycare at 6 weeks but I don't.

jf198400 · August 2011

Personally I think under 12 weeks is definitely too young to start DC, but obviously some people have to go back to work sooner, and their LO's are just fine. My DD just started DC today at 12 months and she is definitely ready to socialize with other kids. She has been going to gym classes, music classes, and story time with the babysitter for the past 2 months, I think she would have been good to start DC around 9-10 months, but I'm happy we were able to keep her home a little bit longer.

karencz · August 2011

DD went to DC at 5 months. I was lucky to have a good chunk of (unpaid) leave there. She is very social and loves her caregivers. She also loves the other babies and has a very easy time when I have to go out. She likes being around people she doesn't know, no anxiety. I feel that it was a great time to start and has helped her become a very well-adjusted baby.

KL777 · August 2011

That's such an individulized question, which depends on the parents and the child. For me, I probably would agree with your mother. I think 2.5 is a decent age to start some type of part-time preschool program.

I stayed at home for 3 years and DS started preschool at age 3. During the school year he's there full time and during the summer, part-time. I wish he could go part time all year but for financial reasons I have to work full time during the academic year.

duchess0727 · August 2011

KathrynMD:
BTW OP - my parents and ILs were all very quietly opposed to daycare when DD was a NB/infant. After a few months and they all saw how happy DD was and developing well and had a strong relationship with DH and I they are all pretty pro daycare.

Ditto this - both sets of parents thought daycare was a place where you just plop a kid down in front of the tv and give them an occassional bottle. Once they saw the love and affection the kids got from each of the teachers, how much attention and interaction they had from the teachers and then the opportunity to socialize with other kids, they realized that it was a great place for the kids.

Pesky · August 2011

both mine started at 8 wks. Both seem happy and well-adjusted.

Amy_Schiz · August 2011

babies adapt. They know no different then what they get. If you start them at daycare at 6 weeks, they'll adapt then. If you start them at pre-school, they'll adapt then.

There are positives and negatives to both. If you can keep them home in the beginning, they'll get sick less. But if you start them early, their immune systems will be much stronger, and they'll be much more socialized at an earlier age.

My son is 18 monthss. He is starting daycare next week; its time for him to be around other kids, and have a routine cirriculum of activities with other kids. It was a personal decision and what is right for him.

Its an individual decision for every family, based on what is necessary for returning to work, paired with what you can afford, and what is best for baby.

emberlee3 · August 2011

DS started daycare at 6 weeks. He seems to be just fine, and so are the other kids I know who started at that age.

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