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Annoyed for no reason??

colonialbridecolonialbride member
in Blended Families

This afternoon DH dropped off his DD at dance. Her BM was staying with her at dance and then taking her to golf and then would drop her off with DH at his work so they could come home. I was going to pick her up from golf but offered to let BM take SD to DH's work so they could spend a little extra time with each other. Come to find out her golf was cancelled and so they went home and did whatever until it was time to drop her off with DH. The reason she was supposed to be dropped off at a certain time was based on the fact that she had golf, since it was cancelled I would expect her to bring her back early. This is the second time in two weeks she has done the same thing. It bothers the crap out of me and I don't really know why...how would you handle it? Let it go? TIA!

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Re: Annoyed for no reason??

  • xmaryrickxxmaryrickx member
    Who was getting extra time with the original arrangement? DH or BM? Either way you are right you are annoyed over noting. Let it go. Did she get to DH by the originally scheduled time?
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  • colonialbridecolonialbride member
    It was DH's scheduled day, so she was getting extra time. I guess the thing that bothers me the most is that she doesn't call and say "Hey practice was cancelled. What would you like me to do?' She doesn't ever mention that anything changed and then we find out from SD later. So she misleads DH into thinking that she is at practice when she isn't. He could have gotten her ealier but he assumed she was still at golf...but you're right...nothng she does surprises me anymore so I need to move on.
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  • spedrunnerspedrunner
    as irritating and annoying as it is, id let it go.....be the better person. I feel for you, going through the same stuff.  
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  • +j+k++j+k+

    DH needs to say, "Hey, next time your golf is cancelled, we would love to have her back early. Just call and let us know."

    Ta-daaa!  Problem solved.

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  • karatechrissykaratechrissy member
    Would she be siting at DH work waitig for him to get off? Or would he have left when she got there? If she would have had to wait than she got some extra time w BM. I can sort of see the annoyance the other way but in tye grand scheme of things, this isn't something you should ruffle your feathers over.
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  • hopankahopanka member

    I think you said it yourself, OP...she did that so that they could spend some quality time together. Oh, what horror - a mother wants to spend some quality time with her child when golf gets cancelled.

    Honestly, unless there is some background to where your H gets shorted in terms of visits often, or BM doesn't allow him to see his child, this is a pretty normal behavior on a mother's part and I think you are annoyed over nothing here. What was it - an hour or two? Are you really annoyed over an hour or two? Did the fact that she didn't get IMMEDIATELY dropped off at your H's work interfere with your guys's important plans that day? There clearly must be something else going on, some kind of a power struggle between the BM and you guys, because in a normal circumstance - that sounds ridiculous.

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  • vanessrosevanessrose member
    Does your DH have a problem with this or just you.....that is your SD's  mom and your going to get mad over them spending time together...sounds like a control issue!
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  • colonialbridecolonialbride member

    I think the main issue is that she is deceitful about all of it. I obviously don't care if she spends time with her since I was the one who had originally offered to have her bring her to meet DH instead of me picking up SD so they could spend more time together. She lies about almost everything that she does with SD and she manipulates SD to say things, do things, etc. BUT, with that being said, I have come to the resolution that I can not do anything to change her and must get over the fact that she does not think logically like the average person does. Thanks for all your insight! 

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