Can baby meet Great Grandpa if he's in a hospital or nursing home?

EveKing79 · August 2011

So, my grandfather is 90, and he's deteriorating very rapidly. I'm due in about a week and a half, and my Grandpa was just re-admitted to the hospital a couple of days ago. We don't know yet how things are going to go.

The doctors said two weeks ago that he had congestive heart failure and they were going to adopt a policy of maintenance, because he wouldn't survive a surgery (besides the congestive heart failure, he has had cardiac issues since I was little) However, in the last two weeks, he has become very confused, not eating enough, etc. He has always been very sharp up to this point- a former aviation engineer, he's a big reader, etc.

I don't know if he's going to make it back home- he lives with my aunt and uncle in our town. My family and my DH and I went to visit him last night in the hospital, and he didn't seem too frail, but he was very confused, and kept calling my DH "Harold". For the longest time, we couldn't figure out what who was addressing, he kept saying, "Harold, she's so beautiful. You need to be good to them..." then he'd pat my hand and say, "Well, darling, you know all about Harold."

He's really excited about the baby, this is his first great-grandson. I really want him to have the chance to meet him. However, I don't know if you can bring a newborn into a hospital or nursing home...it seems like it would be dangerous. Grandpa seems stable right now, but I don't know that he will be released to my aunt and uncle's care, he may need round the clock monitoring-he was re-admitted to the hospital because he kept getting out of bed in the middle of the night and waking my aunt, bringing her the TV remote control and saying things like, "I need to send channel 4 to President Obama. It's very important."

He's never suffered from senility or dementia at all- he attended my baby shower two weeks ago and was perfectly lucid. DH's grandfather passed away two years ago at 88, and it seemed like he became ill and then everything shut down all at once. So we don't know if he will be released back home at all, and we are trying to make plans as to how to handle when the baby comes. I would really like Grandpa to at least meet our son, but as far as how to do that safely, I'm not sure.

Anyone have any experiences like this, or know ways it could be managed if he doesn't come home?

penguincrazy · August 2011

I would run it past your OB/pedi for their opinions, but, unless Great-Grandpa had some sort of contagious issue, I don't see why not. Just be careful about who touches LO and that they wash their hands first. And, I probably wouldn't plan on staying for a long time. But I think it's important for you, grandpa, and LO to get to meet.

I was planning on bringing DD#2 to my grandma's nursing home to introduce them after she was born, but, sadly, grandma passed away about 3 weeks before DD was born.

chiromommyMichelle · August 2011

If you can get clearance from his nursing staff and grandpa is not contagious, I would do it, but very carefully. Short visit, do not pass baby around, wash hands when you get to his room, wash before you leave. Don't touch anything on the way in our out that you don't have to....maybe designate one of you as the door holder, button pusher, etc...

I'm not a germ-phobe by any means, but in a hospital/nursing home setting you're not just talking about the regular bacteria and viruses that we and our babies come into contact with daily...a little extra caution won't hurt.

2-Step · August 2011

penguincrazy:
I would run it past your OB/pedi for their opinions, but, unless Great-Grandpa had some sort of contagious issue, I don't see why not. Just be careful about who touches LO and that they wash their hands first. And, I probably wouldn't plan on staying for a long time. But I think it's important for you, grandpa, and LO to get to meet.

I was planning on bringing DD#2 to my grandma's nursing home to introduce them after she was born, but, sadly, grandma passed away about 3 weeks before DD was born.

I agree, after all babies spend the first few days of their life in hospitals right? I would also assume that most elderly people are there for issues that are not contagious, but are just conditions of getting older. You could check with the facility to ask about that too and see if there is a good area for you to meet with him away from other patients if they think it is a problem. I know that elderly people really love to see babies and it can make their whole day! Provided your baby is in good health and your pedi ok's it I would bring your LO there because it sounds like it is very important to you, don't let anyone else hold her and just keep her close, wash your hands well and don't stay too long etc.

SailorGray · August 2011

I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. My nana is in a nursing home on (in?) hospiceand I do plan on taking DS#2 in to see her. I will take proper precautions, of course. I do want them to meet. I know how much she loves DS#1 and would just love meeting his little brother.

I plan on running it by the pedi, though. They may be able to offer you some tips.

MrsClark8109 · August 2011

Run it past your pedi but heart issues aren't really contagious so I can't see why bringing LO to see him would be a huge issue.Before my grandma passed away in the hospital from heart and stroke complications her room was kept very very sterile--no flowers or anything and nurses were OCD on who would be allowed in because at that point their immune systems (heart patients) are as weak as an infants if not weaker.

tinkerfly81 · August 2011

A very similar stituation happened to us with my DH's grandpa when we had DS#1.

Grandpa was not contagious, and had suffered a stroke and had a lot of other health issues. They were not sure how long he would make it. So after we were discharged we went up to his room (same hospital).

If the nursing staff gives you heck once your discharged (they are often required to escort you to your car) just let them know that once they do (escort you) that you will be turning around and going right back inside. A staff member actually escorted us to his room.

It is not flu season and if you plan to breastfeed your LO will get a lot of immunity from you. And no one else should be holding LO while you visit him (other patients, staff, etc). Use your judgememnt with letting grandpa hold LO- In out case we "helped" him hold our son.

Best of Luck!

manbearpig31610 · August 2011

I am sorry about your grandfather. My grandfather passed away a couple years ago at 97 of congestive heart failure. It was an ongoing thing for several years before his passing. He was also being treated with meds because the dr.s were concerned he would not survive the surgery. He was hospitalized a couple times over the years and once he was very confused and acting a lot like it sounds that your grandfather is acting. Thankfully, his dr found that when the combo of meds he was taking was changed his confusion somewhat resolved. He was released to a nursing home for a month or so of rehab and then released to go home (he lived with my parents). When he was home (and taking the new meds) his confusion improved by at least 95%. Sometimes, with older people, I think the hospital setting does them no favors with the confusion. Add to that the fact that he is on a bunch of drugs that his body is probably not used to yet and maybe that could explain some of your grandfather's confusion. I hope things improve for him and your family. As far as taking LO to meet him, I would think it would be ok, as long as there are no health reasons that your LO shouldn't be around him (either for LO's sake or his). Check with grandpa's dr and with LO's dr just to be safe.

lalaellac · August 2011

I'm not a regular poster, but i'm a nurse on a hospital floor that deals with this a lot...

I would say absolutely no for a hospital and run it by your OB/pedi for the nursing home but i'd recommend no.

Did they check him for a UTI? If so, a week or so of antibiotics and he could be back to his old self. I hope it something easy like this and that he gets better quickly.

KTBBaby · August 2011

This is very tough. I was in your exact situation about 2.5 years ago. Grandpa was in the hospital part of the assisted living facility not doing too well, and my little one was about a month old. long story short, I decided that I didn't want to risk my LO's health by going in a facility where my grandpa may not have been contagious but others were (he was sharing a room with someone). so, sadly I never took him, and great grandpa never got to meet him. It's something I still think about and feel guilty about, but hubby always reminds me of how guilty I would have felt if something would have happened to the baby and the baby got sick. Ugh, sorry I don't have a better answer for you. Good luck with whatever you decide!

NurseLaLa · August 2011

lalaellac:

Did they check him for a UTI? If so, a week or so of antibiotics and he could be back to his old self. I hope it something easy like this and that he gets better quickly.

This... His sudden confusion likely has some underlying cause. CHF doesn't usually cause delirium.

That said, I disagree that it's a "no" to visiting the hospital. Put him into a carrier and don't touch anything and wash your hands before you enter, touch baby, or leave.

EveKing79 · August 2011

Thanks for all the thoughtful responses. I think what we'll do if the time comes is talk to the pediatrician and decide. The hospital where he is now is not the best (not the same hospital I'm delivering at), but it is the closest. However, while my grandpa is definitely *not* contagious, he is back on the telemetry wing , and has a roommate. A lot of the patients there are from nursing homes and have a variety of illnesses, it's not a cardiac-only floor.

CNAMamaof2 · August 2011

Working in an ICU where I have unfortunatley seen my share of people not doing well I have run into this situation before. Most hospitals do not have a policy as to how old the visitors but I would double check with the staff. Also, keep in mind, hospitals and nursing homes are teeming with germs......especially a hospital, people are there because they are sick. Make sure anyone who touches baby while at the hospital washes their hands first. I would also change baby's clothes and yours once you get home. Sorry your grandfather isn't doing well.

ms12345 · August 2011

KTBBaby:
This is very tough. I was in your exact situation about 2.5 years ago. Grandpa was in the hospital part of the assisted living facility not doing too well, and my little one was about a month old. long story short, I decided that I didn't want to risk my LO's health by going in a facility where my grandpa may not have been contagious but others were (he was sharing a room with someone). so, sadly I never took him, and great grandpa never got to meet him. It's something I still think about and feel guilty about, but hubby always reminds me of how guilty I would have felt if something would have happened to the baby and the baby got sick. Ugh, sorry I don't have a better answer for you. Good luck with whatever you decide!

This was us this past winter. DH's grandfather suffered a stroke in December (just a month before DD was born) and deteriorated between then and April when he passed. He spent those months in the hospital and then moved to a nursing home. DD was a 35-week preemie, so as much as we wanted her to meet him, everyone said absolutely not to bring her to the nursing home including the nursing home. The closest she got to "meeting" him was at the funeral

angel2288 · August 2011

I used to work in a nursing home (before LO got me on "limited activity" with my doc), and even if your grandpa doesnt have something contagious...someone else might. If someone is contagious, it could be potentially very very bad for your baby.

My own grandmother was in a very nive 4 star facility and she had shingles for at least a week before they got a positive test result back and moved her into a private room. But before they got the results back, they kept her in a room with someone else...and she even had a pregnant nurse aide!

If it were me, i would see if they could wheel grandpa to the lobby or an empty activity room, meet him in there with the baby (with a blanket over LO to avoid germs even more), and carry lots of sanitizer! Sorry, but i also dont think i would let him hold/kiss the baby.

I dont mean to be a downer, but from working in a nursing home and having my grandmother in one, there is no way i would take a newborn in one. Sorry!

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