One goddamn post about how:
"I lost all my PG weight before I left the hospital"
"My baby is sleeping thru the night at 4 weeks!!"
(for either of the previous, I shall e-stab you)
or
"All he/she does is cry"
"He/she just wants to be held"
"My vag hurts"
"I'm still bleeding"
(there will be these to which, if I am available I shall not withold snark)
Anyone else care to add some posts they are dreading seeing?
Re: Poll:After all the babies are born, posts I don't want to hear...
Can I ask why?
HA HA! Awesome!
I dont want to hear:
"ZOMG - Breastfeeding has been a breeze; it's soooooo easy!"
Whats a STTN post?
Seconded!
Sleep Through The Night. I think.
"Omg! My skinny jeans fit already! I wish it was cool enough out for me to wear them somewhere!"
ugh...I was going to type this but just the thought of it got me too worked up. Seriously...sh*t will go down.
DH doesn't... get up in the middle of the night, change diapers, think I'm sexy anymore, bond with the baby like I do, etc etc
I guess this pretty much goes along with being sick of hearing DH vents now that we are pregnant as well.
I don't want to hear that your baby is the cutest in the world, just cause mine will be.
For realz though... I ditto the posts that the only valid response is pretty much just "good for you."
Yup...I'm giving fair warning now that if I see one, I will not be biting my tongue in the least!
"Can I spoil my three-week old by holding him/her too much"
Dude, that one is on like, page three of every single baby parenting book ever. And the answer is no.
Speaking of which.... did Nikkimouse GBCB?
Yes, sleeping through the night. They got SO old when DS was born and I was on 0-3, 3-6, etc. People just fixated on figuring out how to get their babies to sleep all night, and freaking out that they're x months old and not doing it yet. They do it on their own time! And even when they do, it never lasts b/c of teething, illness, growth spurts, etc. DS still goes through spurts where he wakes up at night. You have kids, you probably won't ever sleep normal again.
I second the "Lose the Baby Weight Challenge" crap. In addition to society being entirely too caught up in arbitrary numbers on a scale or on a label inside our clothing we'll have just have had babies.
Personally, I don't participate in conversations now about weight gain, weight loss, pants size, etc. because I don't think they really serve to inspire, to make us feel better, or even to validate us (aka: "I'm an okay size because so-and-so is the same!"). I think they only validate the idea that weight/dress size is important, and continue to mire us in basing our worth on appearance and those damn, stupid numbers.
I dont want to hear the
"I think i'm giving my dog away" posts either
I have 5 rescue babies and I still ( even in early/active labor) make plenty of time for each and every single one of them daily. I know my DH will have to help out alot when the baby is born but I will still make time for them. And If I hear/see that you can't take care of 1 dog and a baby I will totally flip out on your A$$. Poor dog got such a sorry A$$ owner is what I will say.
I really love animals and can't stand it when I see stupid things happening to innocent furbabies.
Anything like this, dog or cat, unless your child is allergic to the point of being hospitalized, or your pet has hurt the child, I will go apeshiit.
Sorry, I don't know what that means! But I haven't seen her around...maybe she picked up an AE...or just went back under a rock...
what's GBCB?
I am pretty sure "Good Bye Cruel Bump"
Generalized, know it all posts. Posts that say, "I'm a better mom than you."
My response will be a simple "Whore."
Good Bye Cruel Bump.
I often wonder if she is one of those "coming out of lurking 3-5 weeks before my due date" newbs.
I think my baby will be a genius b/cthey are doing this at 6 weks old.
Love all the other responses too!
I only have one kitty, but he requires a lot of attention and I make sure he gets it. He is a rescue as well. He was already abandoned once: it's not going to happen again!
Hooray for you and your big heart, btw!
I'm so lonely at home by myself!
THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! If you're hungry you make a snack - if you're lonely - go out and do something! Meet people - there are tons of places to meet other people with new babies in your area. Don't sit on your stupid computer while the baby sleeps and type frantically to your "friends" about being lonely. Get dressed, go outside and meet some humans!
Major ditto here. I will crawl through the computer and slap someone.
oh yes...every time a newbie has introduced herself..I immediately think it's her. Which isn't fair to the newbie but I can't help myself.
STTN posts, particularly early on. There's nothing worse than logging on after being up 4 times with a colicky baby to read, "OMG, my 5 week old just slept 10 hours straight, I feel AMAAAAZING!!" Eff you.
Ditto on the infant CIO posts. I'm all for CIO when it's age appropriate. 2 months is not appropriate.
I also don't want to hear: "will putting rice cereal in baby's bottle make him sleep longer?" NO! It's not only an old wive's tale, but it's DANGEROUS!
I
you for this. All that matters to me is that when I look in the mirror I am comfortable with what I see and that I feel good about ME. Right now I'm not very comfortable and the only person who can do anything about that (or is allowed to even have an opinion about it) is ME.
I was wondering about her.