TTC After a Loss

Ugh - need help with an email response

I emailed an old co-worker to see if she wanted to get together for lunch soon.

At the end of her reply was: How are you?  How are things progressing with the baby planning?

Ugh, really? She knows about my first 2 losses since they happened when I was still working with her.

 

image

* PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) * 
* CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
* Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d * 
* PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 * 
* DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *


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Re: Ugh - need help with an email response

  • AF showed today - 2 days early - so maybe that's why I'm being so sensitive.

    image

    * PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) * 
    * CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
    * Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d * 
    * PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 * 
    * DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *


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  • I would be very vague and change the subject.

    "Things are going fine, thanks for asking. Nothing new to report, I'll let you know when there is. Where would you like to have lunch?"  Etc.


    image

  • I like Grace's response. I would stick with something similar to that.
    BFP#1 7/09 DS born 3/30/10 BFP#2 5/11 M/C 6/11 BFP#3 9/11 M/C 10/11 BFP #4 5/20/12 Pregnancy Ticker
  • imageGraceInCA:

    I would be very vague and change the subject.

    "Things are going fine, thanks for asking. Nothing new to report, I'll let you know when there is. Where would you like to have lunch?"  Etc.

    Ditto this. 

     Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
    Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012

     After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows

    ((BFP 7/29/13))  ((EDD 4/12/14))  It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!

  • See I'm a ***, because my response would be,

    "Well other than the fact that I'm bleeding out of my vagina right now, I'm doing fine.  With re: to the baby planning, see comment re: bleeding vag.  How does Chili's sound?"

     

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
     BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

  • imagePeanut2929:

    See I'm a ***, because my response would be,

    "Well other than the fact that I'm bleeding out of my vagina right now, I'm doing fine.  With re: to the baby planning, see comment re: bleeding vag.  How does Chili's sound?"

    I fvcking love it.

    image

    * PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) * 
    * CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
    * Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d * 
    * PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 * 
    * DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *


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  • imageGraceInCA:

    I would be very vague and change the subject.

    "Things are going fine, thanks for asking. Nothing new to report, I'll let you know when there is. Where would you like to have lunch?"  Etc.

    Thanks Grace - I'll probably go with something along those lines.

    image

    * PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) * 
    * CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
    * Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d * 
    * PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 * 
    * DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • imagecsquared426:

    I emailed an old co-worker to see if she wanted to get together for lunch soon.

    At the end of her reply was: How are you?  How are things progressing with the baby planning?

    Ugh, really? She knows about my first 2 losses since they happened when I was still working with her.

     

    Firstly, I agree with Grace's reply. Quick, clear and casual. Nicely done.

    The "planning" part of your friends email really irks me. Just that word. Anyone with T-TTC or TTCAL knows that frankly "planning" has nothing, not one thing, to do with it. - But I don't think your pal meant it that way, I think it was a poor word choice.

    BzeetyD = 38, Mr. BzeetyD = 44 together 12/02 married 9/08
    TTC #1 since 1/10
    DX: Unexplained/??? MFI issues

    Our lil' lost sparks:
    5w3d loss 7/30/10 - EDD March 2011
    8w loss 4/15/11 - EDD November 2011
    8w3d loss 8/2/12 - EDD March 2013
    4w c/p loss 10/29/12 - EDD July 2013

    Long story: trying on our own + testing testing testing with 6 rounds of Clomid, more testing, injectables + TI, laparoscopy - one tube blocked, 2 IUIs with Follistim...BFNs.
    RPL testing all normal, Karyotyping normal

    Moving on to IVF.

    IVF #1 April 2012 = BFN, IVF #2 June 2012 = BFP. U/S 7/23 = saw heartbeat but measuring behind. Follow up U/S on 7/30 - no heartbeat. D&C 8/2. Trisomy 12. IVF #3 Oct 2012 = Chemical Pregnancy

    Phone consult with CCRM on 12/12/12 - ODWU 1/4/13 - both tubes clear(!) - AFC 24, AMH 3.2, FSH 9.6, LH 5.4, E2 25. DH has high frag rate but improved!
    IVF #4 March 2013 CCRM. EP protocol w/ Menopur, Gonal-F & Dexamethasone. ER 3/29 & IMSI, PICSI. 43R 13M 10F 6blasts bio'd. CCS testing reveals 3 normals!!!
    FET 5/31/13 of 1 4AA blast - thawed and expanded. 4dp5dt BFP.
    Beta 9dp5dt = 181, 11dp5dt = 427. 1st u/s showed a healthy heartbeat! EDD 2/16/14

    After 4 years of hoping and heartbreak, our sweet little bean was born on 2/19/14
    We are so in love with her.

    "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    Everybody is welcome!!!
  • imageBzeetyD:
    imagecsquared426:

    I emailed an old co-worker to see if she wanted to get together for lunch soon.

    At the end of her reply was: How are you?  How are things progressing with the baby planning?

    Ugh, really? She knows about my first 2 losses since they happened when I was still working with her.

     

    Firstly, I agree with Grace's reply. Quick, clear and casual. Nicely done.

    The "planning" part of your friends email really irks me. Just that word. Anyone with T-TTC or TTCAL knows that frankly "planning" has nothing, not one thing, to do with it. - But I don't think your pal meant it that way, I think it was a poor word choice.

    She had 2 oopses when she was 20 and 22 and unmarried, so you're right. She should know better.

    image

    * PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) * 
    * CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
    * Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d * 
    * PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 * 
    * DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • imagePeanut2929:

    See I'm a ***, because my response would be,

    "Well other than the fact that I'm bleeding out of my vagina right now, I'm doing fine.  With re: to the baby planning, see comment re: bleeding vag.  How does Chili's sound?"

     

     Hahaaa!!!  Hilarious!  Thanks for making me spit my water out all over my desk.  I needed that.

    ** Labor buddies with E3A7AGGIE! ** Photobucket Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • imageGraceInCA:

    I would be very vague and change the subject.

    "Things are going fine, thanks for asking. Nothing new to report, I'll let you know when there is. Where would you like to have lunch?"  Etc.

    This! I am sorry she is upsetting you!
    I have short term memory loss. Do not take it personally if I do not remember you right away.
    No longer trying to conceive at all.
    BFP #1 12/1/02 DD born 7/25/03 
    BFP #2 7/23/10 EDD 3/30/11 m/c 8/17/10 We will always miss you Angelique Marie! 
     BFP #3 4.13.11 EDD 12.18.11 m/c 5/13/11 d&c 5/18/11 We will always miss you Sprout Ryker! 
     Lucky Lee (furbaby) born 1.29.12 
     Midnight Marie (furbaby) born 7.4.12 passed for unknown reasons 9.19.12 Missing my jumping bean. 
    image image
    image image
    Follow Me on Pinterest
    ♥♥ Pg/PAL Welcome! ♥♥ 
    http://indulgy.com/post/4gbObIOiC1/bazinga
  • imagedfduke1221:
    imagePeanut2929:

    See I'm a ***, because my response would be,

    "Well other than the fact that I'm bleeding out of my vagina right now, I'm doing fine.  With re: to the baby planning, see comment re: bleeding vag.  How does Chili's sound?"

     

     Hahaaa!!!  Hilarious!  Thanks for making me spit my water out all over my desk.  I needed that.

     

    Big Smile No problem

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
     BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

  • imagePeanut2929:

    See I'm a ***, because my response would be,

    "Well other than the fact that I'm bleeding out of my vagina right now, I'm doing fine.  With re: to the baby planning, see comment re: bleeding vag.  How does Chili's sound?"

     

    OMG this made me laugh so hard. I wish we could talk to people like this sometimes. 

  • imagePeanut2929:

    See I'm a ***, because my response would be,

    "Well other than the fact that I'm bleeding out of my vagina right now, I'm doing fine.  With re: to the baby planning, see comment re: bleeding vag.  How does Chili's sound?"

     

    Awesome

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