Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
LJF1218:
Re: Uhh LJF?
Like I said, we had miscommunicated before. He didn't intend for me to think it could never work out long term, but that he has some very valid concerns about it that he was trying to express to me in an effort to be upfront about what we would be facing if we got to that point.
Does that make better sense?
It does sound like a lot of work for a short term relationship. From what I've found, when it's difficult at first (for whatever reason) it doesn't usually work out in the long-term. But I think LJF mentioned something about that in PP.
Agreed.
And Lurky, don't try to turn this around and bring up everything LJF has done/is doing wrong in an attempt to redirect attention from the fact you cannot leave her alone.
Let's get something straight. If you (or whomever else) on internet thinks I'm pathetic, it doesn't bother me. And how is this any different that achase paging her to ask her what was going on with him? It's not. Get over yourself.
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
Sounds to me like he talked his way out of it and she let him. I don't think there had been a miscommunication. I suspect that he realized the booty might not stick around so he softened what he said so that he could continue getting laid.
She just needs to decide whether she is willing to accept that his family, and likely Dr. Wonderful as well, thinks less of her because she is a single parent. I would give her more credit if she told him to get the heck out of her life, but I am not surprised that she caved.
Feelings of entitlement and actual self-respect are not the same thing.
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
I would have paged anyone else if they had the same situation where they asked a question in a previous post. She had mentioned that she was going to break things off/have a conversation with him and I wanted to know the outcome.
The reason that it was out of the ordinary was because of YOU and all of the other lurkers who continue to beat the dead horse and LJF.
Exactly this. Then call LJF the AW. Baha.
No decisions have been made yet. I'm not sure what he and I are going to do or if I'll even continue to pursue this. It may end up being a short term relationship; maybe that's all I can really do at this time anyway. I haven't dated in years so it's not like I'm going to marry the first guy I go out with anyway. Or I might decide it's not worth it to continue, but that decision will be made after he and I discuss things further.
He may think less of me for being a single parent. Though he is the one who asked me out when he was well aware of the fact. And we had several dates/conversations before he was getting laid.
All that being said, it's only been a month, so I'm just trying not to take anything too seriously just yet.
Because you're not asking her how things are going. You're quoting two different posts, comparing them and pointing out how she's contradicting herself. You're going out of your way to make her look like an idiot.
You really need to find a hobby or something.
Thank you! This is exactly what I thought when I saw there were thousands of views and posts already to Achase's post this morning just because it had my name in it. I was clueless to all, minding my own business and tending to my sick little boy.
I'm pretty sure this IS it.
Her stories do not match each other. Are you new to the bump? Do you not realize that people get called out when their stories don't add up?
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
I've been around TK/TN/TB since 2007 with a different name -- I'm well aware of the call-outs and flaming. It's pointless, especially when it reaches the point of beating a dead horse like you're doing.
I didn't see this reply until later but it makes a lot of sense. Whatever is decided I wouldn't have B around him anymore because he'll start becoming more and more aware every day of people he's exposed to.
For me, based on the conversation I would let it go. I know that it is difficult to be alone, but the longer you are the more you will realize exactly what you and B need and never compromise on that.
I explained the discrepancy in my original post as a miscommunication between he and I. Yet you still called me out on it so I could AGAIN tell you that I misunderstood him the first time. You're causing me to be redundant, which I really don't have time for today. Bump is only for when Barrett is resting. I think you forget I actually am a mom (and a single one at that! my choice or not that means I'm the only person taking care of him. But, oh wait, we're on the SP board, it should be obvious), and taking care of him is priority #1. So unless you've got something that is truly worth calling me out on, you're wasting everyone's time.
Life is boring when you're perfect.
I'm listening to what you guys are saying and know it does make the most sense. It's easy to say when you're not in the relationship to let it go, but I know you all know that part, too.
Really this issue has not been huge on my priority list. I'm job hunting myself and Barrett's not been feeling well for the past few days. So I haven't been spending a huge amount of time thinking about this. But I'll remember all these points when I do get around to it.
:golf claps:
I mean this in the most non snarky way. Leave his ass and focus on you. Focus on B. You need to stop living for attention. You need to start respecting yourself. You need to stop being that woman who has to be with a man. If anything about your situation you should have learned you can't depend on a man to make you happy or to help B. You need to depend on yourself. He is just playing you for a fool His religion is not going to change. His family is not going to change. You are always going to be "That woman with a child out of wedlock" to his family.
THIS.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, but it's been a fecking month, I've had longer relationships with dust bunnies under my couch. Stop being a doormat, ditch this guy, and spend some time with yourself.
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
Agree.