Does your DH read the board?

nawlinsgrl · August 2011

So, DH comes in and sees me on the site, and asks what I'm learning from my friends on the boards, then mentions specifics about questions I've posted. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this, since I consider this a little separate place for me to get advice and vent. Has anyone else had a similar experience, and if so, how did you handle it?

P.S. Dear, if you're reading this, I told you I was going to post this!

Mrkyrain · August 2011

My DH does make similar comments like "How are the ladies?" or "Learn anything new?" but he's not in the least interested in reading any of it. I really think these boards are more for women but I could be wrong.

naybird · August 2011

Nope. DH has no interest in the boards. He's not online very much at all as it is. So when he does get computer time, he's on his hunting sites.

nino770 · August 2011

No DH doesnt read the boards, when sees me lurking he smiles... "Are you on that bump thing again?'' then walks away back to his man cave.

nawlinsgrl · August 2011

As best I can tell, he didn't get on here to learn stuff about IF and IVF per se, but more to see what I am talking/asking about. He never ever snoops, so this is different for him. Like some DHs, he's not the best at talking about the details of the process, whereas I want to learn as much as possible to prepare myself. I think more than anything, he is just hoping I don't turn into a screaming shrew when I start stimming! LOL

Delta04 · August 2011

My DH doesn't lurk as well. Occasionally, I will tell him some things I learned or gleaned from the ladies here but other than that, he normally never asks. He calls it my "virtual support group" and thinks it is good that I have my own "place" to go.

BearWombat · August 2011

DH has no interest whatsoever. He'll ask what I'm doing, I'll tell him I'm reading a pregnancy forum, and he doesn't want to hear it after that. Completely uninterested.

Mrs.McIrish · August 2011

Mrkyrain:
My DH does make similar comments like "How are the ladies?" or "Learn anything new?" but he's not in the least interested in reading any of it. I really think these boards are more for women but I could be wrong.

Totally this! He knows different people's stories but he would never come on and read. He doesn't even know my screenname!

kzawisl · August 2011

nawlinsgrl:

So, DH comes in and sees me on the site, and asks what I'm learning from my friends on the boards, then mentions specifics about questions I've posted. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this, since I consider this a little separate place for me to get advice and vent. Has anyone else had a similar experience, and if so, how did you handle it?

P.S. Dear, if you're reading this, I told you I was going to post this!

DH did this to me exactly once and I flipped out. Like you, I consider this a separate place for me to get advice, vent, etc, and I felt like he was "checking up on me". He hasn't done it since.

leolyns · August 2011

No, but he knows I go on here and am active poster.

Trish11278 · August 2011

My DH has no interest in what I write or read on these boards. He has made comments though about how it is good for me to have people to talk to because even he doesn't fully understand at times.

Ann679 · August 2011

nino770:
No DH doesnt read the boards, when sees me lurking he smiles... "Are you on that bump thing again?'' then walks away back to his man cave.

This!

mbbbm · August 2011

This reply has been edited by a moderatorto remove the redirecting hyperlink spam
PLEASE STOP SPAMMING THE BOARDS

MrsNap_515 · August 2011

DH is completely uninsterested, I'll tell him if one of the gals gets her bfp or i may share upsetting news if someone has m/c, but he could honestly care less, he's not a very emotional person, and he's not an internet kind of person, he rarely does anything online except go on craigslist & search for auto parts LOL

ecleptic · August 2011

He wandered in a couple of months ago and looked around. Read posts for a couple of days. Asked me questions. He wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. Once he realized that the interaction here is more like what goes on at a lunch out with the girls instead of what goes on at the doctors office- he lost interest. If everything here were specific questions and technical answers he'd probably be interested in participating. He doesn't like to sift through chatter though.

Internet boards aren't unusual for either of us and he wanted to see if this would be a good fit for him since he's also doing the infertility thing.

We both post on another (totally unrelated to infertility/kids) message board and he has a couple message boards (for games he plays) he posts on and I have the bump and my hurricane watchers forum. It's a nice division.

nawlinsgrl · August 2011

ecleptic:
He wandered in a couple of months ago and looked around. Read posts for a couple of days. Asked me questions. He wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. Once he realized that the interaction here is more like what goes on at a lunch out with the girls instead of what goes on at the doctors office- he lost interest. If everything here were specific questions and technical answers he'd probably be interested in participating. He doesn't like to sift through chatter though.
Internet boards aren't unusual for either of us and he wanted to see if this would be a good fit for him since he's also doing the infertility thing.
We both post on another (totally unrelated to infertility/kids) message board and he has a couple message boards (for games he plays) he posts on and I have the bump and my hurricane watchers forum. It's a nice division.

Ecleptic, when I saw you mention a hurricane watchers forum, I looked to see where you're from, since I am in NOLA. If you don't mind my asking, are you anywhere near me?

eponine7682 · August 2011

Ann679:

nino770:
No DH doesnt read the boards, when sees me lurking he smiles... "Are you on that bump thing again?'' then walks away back to his man cave.

This!

This for me too!

BareBethC · August 2011

I tell him about stuff I read on here and he asks me how the "bump girls" are doing, and the other day when I was bumping he read over my shoulder and he was like, hey do you ever write about me on here? Ha! As if I'd tell him. Lol

mtlaurel · August 2011

Not as far as I know. I don't think he'd have any interest, although I tell him about happy and sad news from the boards from time to time. I think he's glad I have an outlet other than him!

RachH517 · August 2011

My DH doesn't read the boards, at least not that I know of. He is very supportive of me being on here for my "online group support" as he calls it. I will share the general idea or if there is something I learned that I thought he should know.

We have been through a lot together even prior to our IF journey, I share with him most of what I talk about in my therapy sessions as well, but it works for us. I know that it does not work for others.

I think as long as you are both honest about what you want things tend to work out,

blueberries8 · August 2011

BearWombat:
DH has no interest whatsoever. He'll ask what I'm doing, I'll tell him I'm reading a pregnancy forum, and he doesn't want to hear it after that. Completely uninterested.

Pretty much this... I mean, he doesn't think the boards are a bad thing and occasionally when I am concerned about something he'll ask me what the women on the message board think, but he's really, really not interested in reading for himself what goes on here or on any other bump/nest board.

ecleptic · August 2011

nawlinsgrl:
ecleptic:
He wandered in a couple of months ago and looked around. Read posts for a couple of days. Asked me questions. He wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. Once he realized that the interaction here is more like what goes on at a lunch out with the girls instead of what goes on at the doctors office- he lost interest. If everything here were specific questions and technical answers he'd probably be interested in participating. He doesn't like to sift through chatter though.
Internet boards aren't unusual for either of us and he wanted to see if this would be a good fit for him since he's also doing the infertility thing.
We both post on another (totally unrelated to infertility/kids) message board and he has a couple message boards (for games he plays) he posts on and I have the bump and my hurricane watchers forum. It's a nice division.

Ecleptic, when I saw you mention a hurricane watchers forum, I looked to see where you're from, since I am in NOLA. If you don't mind my asking, are you anywhere near me?

Houston So same coast but a bit of a jog to the west.

nawlinsgrl · August 2011

ecleptic:
nawlinsgrl:
ecleptic:
He wandered in a couple of months ago and looked around. Read posts for a couple of days. Asked me questions. He wanted to see what all of the fuss was about. Once he realized that the interaction here is more like what goes on at a lunch out with the girls instead of what goes on at the doctors office- he lost interest. If everything here were specific questions and technical answers he'd probably be interested in participating. He doesn't like to sift through chatter though.
Internet boards aren't unusual for either of us and he wanted to see if this would be a good fit for him since he's also doing the infertility thing.
We both post on another (totally unrelated to infertility/kids) message board and he has a couple message boards (for games he plays) he posts on and I have the bump and my hurricane watchers forum. It's a nice division.

Ecleptic, when I saw you mention a hurricane watchers forum, I looked to see where you're from, since I am in NOLA. If you don't mind my asking, are you anywhere near me?
Houston So same coast but a bit of a jog to the west.

Small world. I am actually supposed to be going there next month for a work trip, but there is a slim chance I'll actually make it if my IVF cycle continues as planned. It would be in the same week that ER and ET are anticipated, so I won't be flying if that's the case.

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