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Something DH said that helps me cope...

delinodelino member
in TTC After a Loss
some of you will like this and some of you will not, but it has definitely helped me in some moments of sorrow.  after my surgery when we were dealing with our grief, dh was rationalizing everything and realized that if his mother did not have her miscarraige between his sister and him, he would not have been born and my life would be completely different.  he continued to say that once we have our baby we will love it so much that we could not imagine life with out that baby.  i am not in any way saying that someone should be happy about losing a baby or that we would not have loved it just as much..but it has given me some comfort and thought i would share.
3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
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Re: Something DH said that helps me cope...

  • meeko1985meeko1985
    That is a  positive way to look at things.  Thanks for posting.

    BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
    BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12
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  • amyrdz522amyrdz522
    Isn't it amazing how someone can say something and it can bring some sort of comfort to you. ((hugs)) Thank you for sharing.
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  • PachitaPachita member

    Your DH is so sweet.  A loss is never easy but at the same time it should never drown our hopes of becoming a mother.  ((BIG HUGS)) Delino.  You will be an awesome mom.

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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  • E3A7AGGIEE3A7AGGIE member
    That's a positive outlook on it. I do agree, I wish no one ever had to go through the loss of a baby. But trying to see it was "one door closes, another opens" helps sometimes. :) Thanks for sharing!!
    BFP #1 4/23/11, EDD 1/4/12::No heartbeat @ 9 wks::D&C 6/1/11 
    Child #1  June 2012
    Child #2  Feb 2014
    Child #3  Feb 16
    BFP 3/9/17
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  • Missa_gMissa_g member
    I've had that thought before. Growing up my mom was never shy about telling me how she struggled with infertility for 9 years before she had me. She used to say that she didn't understand the purpose of all that pain and heartbreak until she held me for the first time. It doesn't make the pain any less, but I do find comfort in it at the same time.
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    Married 9/22/07, began TTC 8/10
    Diagnosed with DOR, LP defect, mild endometriosis and cysts
    BFP #1 EDD 9/10/11, natural miscarriage at 6w
    BFP #2 Medicated cycle, twin boys born 4/4/12 at 29w4d
    BFP #3 EDD 8/8/14, D&C for missed miscarriage at 8w, baby boy with triploidy
    BFP #4 June 2014 CP
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  • Gator687Gator687 member
    That is a very positive way to look at things. Although the pain is still there, it really helps to look at things in a positive light as much as possible! Thanks for sharing!
    First BFP April 2011, EDD 01/11/11, MMC June 20, 2011 D&C June 20, 2011 Second BFP September 23, 20011 CP diagnosed September 26, 2011 PAL/PGAL welcome
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  • MrsRiceARoniMrsRiceARoni member
    I too am a baby that never would have been. My parent's weren't going to have any more children, my dad had an appointment to be "snipped", than my brother died from SIDS at two months old and they decided to try one more time for a girl. I like to think that my brother would have been a great person, but I'm so thankful that he stepped down and gave me a chance. I just need to make sure I make him proud.
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  • mmacneillmmacneill
    Thanks for sharing!!!!
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  • JazibelJazibel member

    What a beautiful sentiment - your DH is really sweet.  A part of me knows that things happen for a reason - it doesn't necessarily make it easier for my heart - but it helps my mind to bear the pain.  Thank you for sharing!!Smile

    Jasmine

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  • delinodelino member
    I am so happy that you all liked that as much as I did. DH can be very sweet and I love him to peices. Thank you for all the bfp wishes...sending it back around to anyone else in need as well...xoxo
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • jaxie320jaxie320
    That is a positive way to look at it.  My MIL had a m/c between DH's two older brothers.  The loss we have suffered is terrible but when we do have a healthy baby in our arms we will be all that more thankful.
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  • holsomback6510holsomback6510 member
    I realized this today.  A friend who had a baby a couple of months ago was telling me she miscarried last summer.  I realized that she wouldn't have the sweet baby she has today if she had not miscarried.  It doesn't make the miscarriage any less painful, but it shows God's plan and faith we must have in it.
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