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TTC After a Loss
LoveOfMikesLife
member
I'm done, I really think I'm over it!
LoveOfMikesLife
member
I still haven't seen AF! it's been 64 FVCKING days! I called my OB and she wasn't in so some other doctor called me back and told me "well it's not like you should be trying to have another baby again anyway, be thankful you don't have to deal with that mess every month" 
REALLY FVCKER!?
I'm so over this waiting/ healing game! I can't go a day without crying. I hate IRL people. And the kids I used to love to play with, I can't even stand the sound of their names.
I get mad when people smile at me ....... "what the hell do I have to smile about?"
I just want to be at home alone! I have water and a treadmill that's all I need
oh and with all the running that I was doing I've haven't been able to lose weight! I'm still a fat @ss with no baby to show for it!
wow..... How's that for a self loathing pity party!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm done, I really think I'm over it!
((HUGE HUGS))
Um...I can't believe a doctor said that to you. What a sh!thead. Report them, immediately.
I am so sorry for your pain.
ugh, I cant believe a Dr would say that to a patient!!!! wtf, thats so insensitive!
wanted to send you hugs, and I hope AF shows up soon.
BFP#1 April 12, 2011, EDD December 24, 2011, strong heart beat at 7w3d, d&c at 10w6d
BFP#2 Oct 24, 2011, natural miscarriage, EDD unknown
After RPL testing my losses and subsequent infertility are considered unexplained.
Cycle #22: Femara, TI, and progesterone = BFP!!
BFP#3 Dec 21, 2012. Beta #1 @14dpo = 134, progesterone 67.8. Beta #2 @ 17dpo = 664! Team green, EDD 9/1/13, healthy baby boy born 9/12/13!
Congratulations to the fabulous KGS2003! Her sweet boys are here! Grow boys grow!!!
BFP 7/6/11 Natural m/c 7/20/11 @ 6w2d
BFP 9/25/11 Grow baby grow!
Sounds like you're grieving to me, not a pity party at all, and it's a process. I personally think the Dr you spoke to today needs to receive a swift throat punch. Just out of curiosity do you go to a private OB or one attached to Trident or MUSC? I had to fire my OB back in March because her staff was so unprofessional. That being said it's ok to not want to be around kids and I totally understand the hating IRL people, I went through the same thing after my two losses (and they were early). I think you've come to the right place to vent though and I am sending you a big hug today!!!
BTW how the he!! are you running in this ridiculous heat? I saw a girl running on my way home from work yesterday and I wanted to stop and give her a ride...then I realized she was running on purpose and I wanted to stop and recommed a shrink...hehe!!
HUGE HUGE ((hugs)).
I know we talked about this yesterday and you are free to go right ahead and party with your pity. (that sounded weird, but you know what I mean).
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
Oh my goodness hun I am so sorry that you had to deal with that person on the phone (( HUGE HUGE HUGS))
I hope your OB can call you and give you some answers to get AF going. I would also ask to speak to an office manager about that inappropriate comment.
((big big hugs))
I can't believe the other doctor said that to you.. how do they know what your plan for the future is? WTF, unprofessional.. I would be calling their superior..
Have they talked about putting you on Provera to restart your cycle? I've had to go on it twice for 60+ day cycles.
I am sorry your having a rough time.. I don't think anyone expects you to be all happy go lucky.. you just went through a tramatic experiance. I am not even gonna try to pretend I understand.. my loss was a early loss, I can't even imagine carrying a baby full term and lose her.. my heart is absolutely broken for you and any one else that has to go through it. I hate that we all have had to lose our babies at any stage though.
Just know that we are all here for you, we all have rough times, and while we may not know exactly how you are feeling, we are here for you to vent to and here to support you. If you need anything please know I am here for you hon.
Ughh, I'm soo sorry. The nerve of that doctor!!!
(((Hugs)))
Our baby boy,Logan, was born still at 19w3d on 7/1/2011
Our 2nd baby boy, Mason, was born still at 20w3d on 1/31/2012
After a much needed sanity break... we are praying for our rainbows
((BFP 7/29/13)) ((EDD 4/12/14)) It's BOY/GIRL twins!!!
I would like to be invited your pity party
#1 How annoying is that doctor?! Oh my! Don't they get that you just want to be back to normal? If I acted that insensitive as a teacher I would have gotten the longest email complaint to my principal
#2 I totally "get" the disdain for others IRL...I am such a b*tch these days.
#3 If the treadmill and water doesn't work for you, I disinfected each room of my house from top to bottom to "deal" with my issues!
It sure helped to rub bleach vigorously onto the floor of the shower while cussing out the world.
You are allowed to be bitter! It all sucks, sucks, sucks! Sorry!
PAL/PGAL Welcome
Stepmom to: Lizzie (4); Justin (10); and Cameron (13)
Mom to 3 angels: Baby 1 MC 2/13/09 @ 7 wks; Baby 2 CP 11/5/10 @ 5 wks;
and Brendan - Late Loss 4/27/11 @ 20 wks
<a href="http://s51.photobucket.com/albums/f355/erinmarie74/?action=view
I run because it's the only thing that keeps me going! If a sweat a lot then it leaves me less to cry out
Viking- when I talked to the MFM panel last week they told me to wait until the end if this month before we started even talking about any kind of action!
Jinx- it's a private OB. It's in west Ashley right by St Francis
Thanks for letting me vent here, I try to hide it from DH because then he gets worried that I'm hurting this bad and doesn't like to leave me alone. I don't want him to worry about me, he had enough to deal with
Ugh I'm so sorry that was not preofessional! I'm sorry your body still isn't back to normal, I'm not sure what my normal is (since I was on bcp for so long) but my cycles have been around 40 days since I delivered my son it is quite frustrating!
I know what you mean about the baby weight, at first I lost some of the weight because I think I was in too much shock to remember to eat, but I have gained it all back. I hate that people look at my friends who were pregnant with me and they just have "baby weight" because they have their babies in their arms, while I'm clearly just a fat girl since I have no baby. I was never tiny to begin with but I never had a stomach like this.
I know it's different for everyone but I hate that no one wants to talk about him. It's not like an early loss where more people may not have known I was pregnant, Everyone knew it yet everyone acts as though it never happened. That drives me nutts! Yes I lost my baby, and talking about it may make YOU uncomfortable but I'm far more uncomfortable in this situation!! Ugh sorry if I took over your post a little here.
I'm so sorry you're having a bad day! Definitely sending prayers your way. That doctor is a *** and I would get a new one immediately. That is completely unforgivable and unprofessional and I think she needs a new job.
As for hating people and kids, me too! I'm so bitter all the time and ignore when people call or text me or want to hang out. Don't feel bad at all, they can get over it if they think you're being rude. They don't understand what you're feeling and that's their fault, not yours.
I say find a new doctor who can help you to get things back to normal.
So sorry you're having a bad day
As PPs have said, that Dr. = unprofessional idiot.
My heart breaks everytime I hear more of your story. No one should have to go through any of this, least of all someone as sweet as you. Just know you're always in my T&Ps! *HUGE HUGS*
BFP #1 5/26/11 - said goodbye to our DD at 13w on 7/29/2011
BFP #2 12/16/11 - Chemical Pregnancy
BFP #3 1/21/12 - Welcome Zoey Paige - 9/23/12!
BFP #4 11/27/13 - STICK BABY!
married 7.26.08
DD #1 passed away in January 2011 at 14 days old due to congenital heart disease
DD#2 lost in January 2012 at 23 weeks due to anhydramnios caused by a placental abruption
I am so sorry...That Dr. was so out of line. Just as an FYI when I had my daughter it took me almost the same amount of time to get my period back. It was all over the place once it did and now 9 months afterI delivered is starting to get back into a routine. Alos when we met with the genetic counselor she told my DH and I that once your period started that was your bodies way of knowing it was okay to TTC...I followed my OB's recommendation that I wait at least 2 cycles..
As for the fat @ss...It does suck to feel like a stranger in your own body without a baby to justify the little extra...but it will get better...although truth be told when I had to be in a bathing suit last weekend in front of a bunch of friends I had the same pity party...just PO'd that I didn't have a baby to show for my belly blubber...
If you need anything please reach out...
BFP 1 4/2010 M/C 5/1/2010 8w2d EDD 12/10/10 BFP 2 5/5/2011 C/P?? 5/14/2011 5w2d EDD 01/12/12 BFP 3 3/12/2012 EDD 11/23/12 Ultrasound 4/11/12 H/B 160bpm! It's a GIRL!
Lots of hugs to you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Is there a counselor or therapist you have access to? Just to talk it out with a pro for a few minutes?
Please take care of yourself first and foremost.
{{{{Big Squishy Hugs}}}} I am so sorry for all of the hurt weighing you down, and how the Dr and people IRL are compounding it. You are entitled to every emotion you are feeling, even being over it.
Gigantic HUG
I'm really sorry you feel so sh*tacular. I'm positive I would feel the same way. Everything you're feeling is completely normal (doesn't make it any easier, I know).
Heck, I've got a truckload of bitterness that I try and suppress every day. I can only imagine the amount you have.
I REALLY hope AF shows up soon. What that idiot doctor doesn't realize is that by getting AF, you're getting back to "normal". It's part of the healing process. An important part.
You are a strong, amazing woman. You will get through this. One day at a time. Thank you for coming here and trusting us to vent to.
HUG
BFP #1 2-1-11 Missed Miscarriage 3-14-11(9 wks)-D&C
BFP #2 9-17-11 EDD 5-29-12
Edward James born 3-14-12 weighing 1lb11oz at 29w1d via c section due to low fluid and growth restriction from crappy placenta.
My BFP Chart
OMG, what an a$$!
I'm so sorry. Is there another doc you can talk to in the practice?
* PG #1 2/26/09: mm/c 4/14/09 at 10w4d | PG #2 8/5/09: mm/c 9/29/09 at 11w3d (boy) *
* CP's 4/14/10, 9/1/10, 4/19/11, 5/24/11, 10/14/13, 11/16/13 *
* Ectopic 1/17/14 - nothing on u/s at 6w4d *
* PG #7 BFP 12/21/11 - DD born 8/31/12 *
* DH Dx'd with balanced translocation in 2011 *
I am so so sorry you are having such a crappy day (or week...or really year am I right?). I have so been there in those moments when you just want to shut down and go hibernate somewhere til you're pregnant again, or really until baby is safely in your arms. It is a horrible messed up feeling and I'm so soorry.
As for that doctor...I would be beyond pissed. You have every right to complain.
I am so sorry that you are hurting. My full-term baby was born on June 17 and passed away for no known reason on June 22. I know what you mean about no period. I want to call my OB and ask about it too. I haven't had a period since she was born. It is just really frustrating because I have no idea what my body is doing. I keep getting cramps and my boobs start to hurt and then it goes away and nothing happens.
I also get the part about feeling like a fatty with no baby to show the reason I am fat. My husband and other people keep telling me I look great, but I look in the mirror and see a blob.
Although I wouldn't wish this unhappiness on you it was kind of nice to see that someone else was feeling the way I am. What do I have to smile about? Why is everyone else so damn happy? Why can't I be anyone, but me?
And like many other people have said, you deserve to have a pity party. You shouldn't have had this happen to you. And I hope no other jerks respond the way this doctor did.
BFP #2 10/13/11 c/p 10/17/11
BFP #3 12/13/11 EDD 8/23/12 DS Born 8/27/12
BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
Too beautiful for this earth
BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
I'm so sorry.((HUGS)) .. and wow, what a douche. That dr. had no right to say that, or to even assume you didn't want to "deal with that mess" ... I'd give ANYTHING to right now. I'm going on 12 weeks post d&c, and STILL no AF. I'm pretty much in the "over it" stage, too. Unfortunately, though, we DID NOT try real hard to avoid, and ended up with a c/p a few weeks ago, which makes me mad b/c now it'll be an EVEN LONGER wait until AF probably. I'm convinced my body hates me.
Child #1 June 2012
Child #2 Feb 2014
Child #3 Feb 16
BFP 3/9/17
Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
BFP #4 5/14/12
5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
DD born 4/3/10 BFP 4/9/11 missed mc @10w4d- forever loved
BFP 8/21/11 EDD 4/29/12
Some doctors just shouldn't be doctors because they are not personable and don't consider their patients' feelings. I would totally file a complaint for their insensitivity. I'm sorry and I am hoping you get your AF soon!
BFP #1 3.23.11 :: Natural M/C on 5.21.11 @ 12wk4d
BFP #2 2.17.12 :: EDD 10.28.12 :: Ava was born 11.2.12
BFP #3 1.31.14 :: Natural M/C on 3.10.14 @ 9wk2d
BFP #4 4.29.14 :: Natural M/C on 5.5.14 @ ?
New Beginnings: Our Journey into Parenthood (Blog)