2+ time mommies...

emma12210 · August 2011

Just wondering if anyone has had similar feelings...

I've been feeling guilty off and on for not "cherishing" this pregnancy like I did my first... w/ my first I was constantly in awe and amazement that a life was forming inside of me, and hardly ever thought of anything but my baby 24/7. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited and happy about this pregnancy, but I don't feel like I'm elated to the degree I was w/ my first... not sure if this is a normal 2nd pregnancy thing, or I'm just being emotional, or stress from some things... DH is losing his job at the end of the year and my babies are due in January, so we're looking at a possible move out of state and away from parents at a very rough time... ugghhh

I started to post this on the 1st tri board, then decided to put it on here thinking maybe it's a "twin" thing. Thanks

Rangergal9 · August 2011

I think it was just as special to me simply because I was having twins so it was automatically different. I did spend a lot of my pregnancy worrying about our financial state (we had to get a minivan, going unpaid longer, buying all the stuff we needed, having 3 in daycare, etc). I tried to enjoy it, but I also felt guilty about having a hard time playing with my older DD. I couldn't even take her to the park by myself because I couldn't walk easily and whatnot. Losing that time with my older DD was the thing I felt the worse about.

shellshavintwins · August 2011

I think it's natural with a second pregnancy. In the beginning of this pregnancy I had a vanishing twin, and my girls were only 13 months when I got pregnant. I have been more tired then the first time. I was having such a hard time that I scheduled an elective U/S at 17 weeks and got a big package with the DVD of it, a CD of the Pics and a teddy bear that recorded baby girls heartbeat. It really helped me get more connected with the new baby. I still have my moments, I used to cry everytime I saw my girls on U/S and I wish I still had that strong of an emotion this time. But I am tired, and scared of the insanity that is going to occur in this house in just a couple of months.

lkstor · August 2011

You have described my feelings very well. I feel guilty because I'm not enjoying this pregnancy. And it's likely my last. But the twin hormones and the twin weight gain and the twin stress has been hard on this momma.

Plus I want to be chasing my son around, and that makes me very aware of my physical limitations.

Hang in there.

heatheric71505 · August 2011

I think it makes sense that you aren't as amazed as you were the first time around. It's not that it isn't just as amazing but you've been through it and you know what to expect. You also have your little one to focus on so it takes away time to "daydream" about your pregnancy and new baby. I found it was hard to take the time each day to cherish my second pregnancy because my life was much busier then with my first pregnancy. It sounds like you have a lot of things going on in your life as well so I wouldn't beat yourself up too much.

klr210 · August 2011

I feel like I could have written this myself. I don't enjoy this pregnancy..I just want to get through it. I just want to feel good again, I miss having energy to play with my toddler. I miss wine.

I'm not afraid of whether or not I'll connect with the girls once they're here... but right now, they're people I can't see and I have such a strong bond with my daughter. So between missing work, missing feeling good, missing being a better wife/mom... no I'm not as excited about this pregnancy. I try to redirect my feelings towards discussin with my DD the changes in store, cherishing our 1 on 1 time now and trying to stop and laugh about some of the pregnancy things I do enjoy..like in-utero hiccups. Also..I was big on naming my girls right away. It's literally something I HAD to do to help me bond with them and think of them as my daughters and not body snatchers.

Financial stress is another thing that freaks me out and tempers my excitement. Even now that I'm feeling better about that, I know any limited freedom I have with just one kid will be wiped out and that makes me anxious..but it is what it is and I just visualize snuggling infants again.

togagirl · August 2011

heatheric71505:
I think it makes sense that you aren't as amazed as you were the first time around. It's not that it isn't just as amazing but you've been through it and you know what to expect.

This. I think the first time you don't really know what you are getting yourself into. And you know what labor is actually like and you know how freaking tired you are really going to be.

TeacherTiff · August 2011

I feel the same way. For me, it's because I'm afraid to get too excited I think. That and I'm too busy chasing around my toddler to document every little thing!

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