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Single Parents
Child Support progress - good news!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Child Support progress - good news!
And I do think if any other newbie posted that they had waited 3 months to get that amount and put the amount, they would be getting the same responses.
She knew what she was doing when she posted the amounts. Oh my bad for posting again
Every single state has child support guidelines, they are regulations based on federal legislation passed requiring every state to have a child support enforcement agency. The child support amount is based on three things, incomes of both parties, custodial time with each party, and expenses related to the child such as day care, medical insurance, etc. Your child support amount will be greatly affected by these issues. If your child is covered under the other parent's health insurance, you don't have high income and you don't have day care expenses, your child support amount is certainly going to be lower than someone who has these expenses. I don't think it is any way an insult if someone receives more child support than you, you don't know their specific circumstances. I think it is also unfair to claim she is slutting it up with a doctor to get more child support. For a group of woman stuck in the same point you are all being amazing unsupportive. If you think your child support amount should be higher, google child support enforcement for your state and run the numbers yourself. The law has recently greatly increased the penalty for fathers who are not paying, including seizing of assets, cancellation of passports, seizing bank accounts and tax returns, suspension of a drivers license, all significant motivators to get deadbeats back in line. In addition to every state having child support guidelines, they also have a child support enforcement agencies that will help you secure child support free of charge, of course this takes longer because you are working with a state agency.
The OP and all single parents should seek out as much child support as they are entitled to and there there is absolutely no reason the OP should be embarrassed by the amount she is legally entitled to receive. Those of you that are pregnant or recently delivered, should also know that almost every state allows you to bring a claim for maternity expenses, if you haven't looked into that you should as soon as possible.
I am not here to be combative, but I think the OP is being unfairly judged. I have worked with child support cases for years and the numbers she posted do not seem out of line to me, and have had many child support awards that more than double the amounts she posted, especially if the biological father makes a substantial income, he should support his child to the full extent that the law requires and to the extent that the law allows. The reality is the more people make, the more they tend to spend on their children.
I'm not here to be combative or judgmental, if anyone has questions about guidelines in their state I would be happy to help.
So my big error here was posting the amount of CS I found out today I would be getting. I was excited that I would finally be getting what I needed to take care of Barrett. His daycare alone is over $1100/month. It's not like I'm making some kind of profit on CS. I apologized if it offended some and deleted that part of the post.
Yet we always come back to how I became a SP and since that is my own fault so it seems to some I don't deserve CS and I should struggle longer in order for my difficulties to "count"?
Why would anyone here wish for a another SP to have a more difficult time? Isn't being an SP hard enough?
$1,400-$1,700....HOWEVER, it sounds like it's relative given his salary and her expenses. Must be a HCOLA.
As is my daycare.
I understand that each state has amounts based on income of both parties. And in no way am I saying you deserve no cs.
What I am saying is the way you came in and throwing amounts around came off wrong. If people feel you are being attacked for other reasons, they are probably right. Many people have given you the benefit of the doubt and got past the reason you are here. But to come in throwing amounts around was lame and rude.
Take it as you will.
Still waiting to find out what Mr. Wonderful does
Sorry, R9 answered this for me and addressed it to you. It's also in my original post. He's a physician. But he's finishing his residency and works mainly in research. I have zero idea of how much money he makes. And I'm not expecting him to financially support me anyway. But I do expect Barrett's biological father to support him.
I don't think a single person on this thread said you dont deserve CS. The error you made was posting the dollar amount. Sure, you went back and deleted it, but it was too late.
I've only been going through the legalities of my divorce for 5.5 months, so I know that 3 months (to you) can seem like an eternity. But keep in mind that your short battle is really the only one you have to deal with. You don't have to worry about custody or visitation for the next 18 years. You don't have to try to get a divorce from someone who is making it extremely difficult. Hell, you don't have to see/hear from B's dad ever again and I'm sure a lot of us on this board (myself included) are jealous of that.
Instead of getting defensive, maybe sit back and be grateful that your "battle" has been so short-lived and you'll be getting CS like B deserves.
wow.
He's a physician. It says so in her "Real Dr. Wonderful" post.
Ahh so it really does pay to get knocked up by a married doctor!!! You are so fvcking disgusting LJF. As PP said, at least your son's daddy will be able to pay for his therapy.
BTW... Have you considered the fact that when this douchebag doctor finds out how much he could pay that it's likely he will seek visitation? While visitation and child support are two separate issues, shared parenting can greatly affect the amount of child support you receive.
Priss28King is wise.--"Lurky, you are so mean... but always so on point!"
I don't even see how posting the amount matters - it's all relative. The OP said she pays $1,100 for daycare which I would guess is a somewhat HCOL area.
It's the same as if I posted that I make $75k. (I don't.) It's really meaningless because if I live in NYC that is nothing, if I live in LCOL it could be a pretty nice little life.
Oh thats a given. When he finds out and the money is taken from him he for sure is going to want visitation. So count your blessings now you have not had to deal with that.
The wife may have something to say about that!
And I think the wife who is now going to loose some of her income will want a part of this childs life now too. Just have a feeling
:unlurk:
This reminds me of a reccuring thread on T-TTC where someone will freak the eff out because they saw a pg ticker and go all "IT'S NOT FAIR, no babies for you until I get KU"
Here's the thing, the person with the ticker isn't the one who looks like the bad guy.
:relurk:
I think it's hilarious this post has been C&P all over the Nest now, and basically, the SP posters are now the biggest beyotches of the Bump/Nest world.
What a bunch of unsupportive, bitter women. Wow. Just because your situation sucks doesn't mean you have to rain on someone else's parade when something good happens in their life. And I thought the IF board was bad.
I posted about how child support works, if all of you know how it works, I have no idea why everyone got so up in arms about the amount. It is set based on guidelines, it is not like she gets to choose some arbitrary number. With 1,100 in day care expenses, she won't be getting much to use towards his other actual expenses once she pays that bill.
I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time, Becca. I know that you have been struggling and will continue to be. But please remember that I'll have gone 4 months and my pregnancy when I was preparing for B without any support. I still don't have any, and it will be another month at least before I do. But of course I was excited to see an end in sight - wouldn't any of us be excited? That hasn't made the past few months easier. I've been dealing with my newborn alone, returned to work 5 weeks after giving birth, and been unable to make ends meet this whole time as well. I thought everyone here would understand how exciting it is that I won't be having to do that anymore. I would be thrilled for you if you didn't have to. We're here to be happy and excited for each other when we get victories for our children and that was the point of my post, not to rub it in your face.
Also, the court determined that because of the discrepancy in income, B's dad is liable for 70% of his expenses and I am 30%. I still have to pay for 30% of B's expenses. I don't make a profit from CS, I won't be using it to pay my bills. I'm deeply in the hole as of now since I've paid 100% of expenses. I don't make much money, either, and we've probably in somewhat of the same boat right now. I'm going to get out of the boat and am happy about that. I would be happy for you if you were getting out, too.