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December 2010 Moms
HTT: Would you hold LO back in school so they aren't the youngest?
Malcom Gladwell (Author of Blink and several other books) recently did a study on how your birth month affects your social/economical/academic/ caste. His study showed that 98% of professional athletes were born between January and April. The reasoning on this is that they were the "oldest" for their year, so while they didn't start out THAT much better than their peers because they were bigger/stronger/faster/older they got more attention from coaches and therefore had more opportunities to play and eventually became a dominant player. The same logic was applied to school; while a January baby did not start out any smarter than December babies because they were almost a full year older they developed faster, were better behaved and could concentrate for longer periods of time. This allowed them to get more attention from teachers, qualified for more special programs/scholarships and therefore gave them a better start in life with a better education.
I am personally an October baby. When I was supposed to be entering kindergarten I would have been 4 going on 5 (our cut-off for school here was you had to be 5 by 12/31). My parents decided to hold me back a year so that I was 5 going on 6 instead; in some cases I was 14 month OLDER than kids in my class. I was always the tallest and the strongest. I was always a straight-A student. I am now a chemical engineer and I think my parents made the right choice. It was a little bit more difficult for me socially because I was more mature than a lot of my classmates, but I loved being the sports star. By my senior year in HS I was so ready for college that I wanted nothing to do with HS.
So, would you keep LO back or would you send your LO ahead?
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Re: HTT: Would you hold LO back in school so they aren't the youngest?
I think it depends on the kid and on the school & cut-offs and whatnot. I definitely see the benefits of having the kid be on the older side of things. There could just be drawbacks as well. An obvious drawback is that there is such thing as being too smart in school. You want your kid to be challenged and have smarter kids in the classroom in my mind.
Another thing that comes to mind is puberty. I was on the younger side at my school, with a summer birthday (our cut-off was totally different and no one was 4 starting kindergarten; a few people were even 6!) I also hit puberty late. So it sort of sucked being the tiniest kid in school. But it would have been SO much worse to have had my period and boobs and whatnot way before everyone else. Early puberty in girls is apparently linked to all sorts of crappy stuff, so I think it would be offset if the girl was in a class with older kids who were going through things at the same time. For boys I feel like it can be the opposite. If my boy is young for his grade and he is a late grower like me, he will likely suffer for it socially. There are also studies about this. Height correlates with salary, CEO, etc in men, but apparently only your height in high school when you were developing your confidence.
I would hold my LO back if I didn't feel they were ready for kindergarten. Kindergarten is tougher than it was when I went to school. It is all day, every day where we live. At the same time, I wouldn't keep my child home an extra year if they were mature enough, could sit still and follow directions and had a basic understanding of the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes, etc. My sister started school at 4-1/2 and was #2 or 3 in her class and had straight A's from middle school on. My best friend was one of the youngest and was one of the top students in my class and is now one of the most successful people from our school ever.
I was born in July and held back because I wasn't ready for Kindergarten. This made me the oldest in my class... I was always a good student, but I don't think it's because I was the oldest. My brother was also held back and he was... not the best student.
I guess I'll have to think about this. I think it depends on where she is social-emotionally when we get to that point.
2 babies in heaven (mc)
Blog: ForLoveofCupcakes.com
Oh I should add this as well...
I used to be a kindergarten teacher and there was one mom who forced her 4 year old (birthday in october/november.. can't remember) into KG and she WAS NOT ready and made the year very tough on me. So that's a bit on the other end of the extreme but I am NOT for forcing your kid into school before they're ready.
2 babies in heaven (mc)
Blog: ForLoveofCupcakes.com
I'm a Kindergarten teacher so I definitely have some experience with this! If would absolutely keep them back if I felt my LO would not ready. But I wouldn't do it just so they could be the oldest.
I'm pretty happy though that DS's birthday is 12/16 and the cut off here is 12/1 so I won't *have* to make that decision.
I have a student this coming year that is in my class and is repeating Kindergarten. His birthday is 11/29 and was so NOT ready for K last year. He was such a little guy (physically) and just emotionally and socially not ready. And yes, Kindergarten is very demanding now. Kids are expecting to leave Kindergarten doing simple addition (and sometimes subtraction), telling time to the hour, be able to recognize and identify coins and their values, reading at a certain level and writing stories (many sentences with punctuation, sound spelling, spacing, etc). Not to mention being able to sit for a story, follow multi-step directions, problem solve with peers.... it's a tough grade! lol
My little man at 0-1-2
My brother & I are both February babies, but academically, we couldn't be more different.
I always got A's, never got in trouble, and excelled in all of my classes. He struggled with simple subjects and had difficulties in school his whole life. So, I think it really depends on the individual child.
I would absolutely hold them back. I could have gone the September 3 weeks after I turned 5. My mother is a teacher and said no effing way and held me out until the following year when I had just turned 6. I was almost always the oldest other than sometimes the kids who were held back after they started school. I often felt ready to go ahead, however, looking at my sum life I'm fairly certain I got a good leg up by being more emotionally and cognitively ready for school.
This isn't really a choice for us for LO as she can't start before she turns 5 since the cut off is Oct. 31 here to turn 5. So she will have to wait until she's 5 and 8 months to start school. I wouldn't hold her out until she's 6 and 8 months at that point. I think she'd be too old.
BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10
BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15
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The cut off for girls in my state was Sept. 30th, my birthday was the 13th, so I was always one of the youngest in my class. I have always been proud of that (not that it means that I was any smarter or anything,) but I was ready. My cousin that was born 3 months ahead of me ended up being held back and graduating (maybe, I never did hear) the year after me.
Edited to answer the question: So if I were able to send DD to school early I would- I'd probably even want to, if I thought that she seemed ready.
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I think it depends too much on the child. I was a September baby and was pushed ahead since I was academically ready and somewhat of a know-it-all. I would have been awful had I been held back. I was already a problem because I'd finish my work before everyone else then bother people. I did have some insecurity issues with being the youngest though at puberty time. But while I thought I was behind and wasn't growing any boobs, in reality I was just never going to get them
My DD's birthday was a few days ago and we could hold her back if she doesn't appear ready. Her personality thus far though is a lot like mine so I don't think it would be good for her at all.
I'm a December baby myself, so I was always one of the oldest. If I had a summer baby, I could see holding them back another year before starting preK or doing some sort of preschool and then PreK the next year too. As a teacher, I can say that I've noticed that the summer babies tend to be less mature than their counterparts. Some kids are ready for school though, so it should depend on your child and what they need at the time.
I believe children should start school when they are ready. When I was a kid I lived across the street from a boy named Louis. Louis was born 9 months a head of men in a different year so he got to start kindergarten a year ahead of me. Louis could not count to 20, Louis could not write his own name, Louis could not sit still and pay attention to instructions, Louis didn't even want to start school.
I could do all those things and more. But I couldn't go to school with him because I was a couple months short of the cut off.
Louis ended up failing two grades and finished high school with an equivalency diploma. I graduated university with two degrees and diploma.